Author Archives: Your Spiritual Best Friend

Summary

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode talks about Carrie Schmidt (Capricorn Sun, Scorpio Moon) and her journey from experiencing her childhood trauma and also experiencing the highs and lows of a relationship. Carrie talks about her book titled Behind The Screen, a 7-step guide to helping us understand ourselves behind the screen. The topics we also cover include self-reflection, childhood trauma, relationships, and astrology.  Like always, guys, please like, rate, and subscribe on Spotify and Apple Podcasts; it would help the podcast :). Click on the links below to check out Carrie’s Book and Social Media.  Carrie’s Book  Carrie’s Social Media — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

Hey, everybody, and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode talks about the story of Carey Smith. Carrie is the founder and CEO of Infinite Solutions, a company focusing and trying to help people transform into their better selves. Carrie also talked about her journey and what led her to create her book behind the Screen, which is a seven step life timeline system of transformations to really help readers become their real, authentic selves. Carrie is very open and I really enjoyed our conversation about relationships, what it takes to transform and to become our better selves. We also get into astrology as well, and you guys can check out all of Kerry’s work and her book by clicking in the links in the show description. And like always, guys, if you guys can please, like, rate and subscribe on Apple podcasts and Spotify, your ratings and subscriptions will help boost the podcast overall. But without further ado, here is my conversation with Kerry. Hey, everybody, and welcome to your spiritual best friend. I am your host, Josh Sanchez, and I’m here with a very special guest. Carrie, how are you doing today? And what’s going on? Joshua? I’m doing amazing. I’m so excited to be on here talking about this inspirational, empowering information to share with your audience. So I’m excited to be here. Thank you. Bye. Yeah, and same here. The energy is matched. Like, I’m very excited. First, I want to say that I really appreciate you reaching out and wanting to come on the podcast and to really start us off. When it comes to the podcast and all that fun stuff, describe to me, like, your journey. I know you’re very passionate when it comes to helping others. Where did that passion really stem from you? Did it start in childhood or did you just have, like, an epiphany? Where did that passion really start for you? 1s That’s an interesting question. I believe it started when I started to research kind of the fundamentals of the universe and learning about the power of our minds and the power of our just mind, body, soul connection. And that’s when it started. I’ll tell you. I read this book called The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer, and that was the first book I read that started me kind of on my spiritual journey and researching the fundamentals of the universe. And once I started to understand and learn the stuff that they don’t teach us in school, that’s when I was like, wow, I want to share this with the world. I think it was during my own personal development journey when I started to look for some self help and ways to help my depression, anxiety. You know, I’m a single mother, so I’ve raised my son on my own since he was born. He’s now 15. So I went through a lot of struggles in life, and when I started to research. 2s Kind of how we can harness our own power. That’s when it was like, wow, I just want to teach this to the masses. Well, and I want to say credit to you, Carrie, for taking those steps into really wanting to improve yourself, you know, and and to really just help you get through that time because we all know in life we are going to go through challenges. The universe works in very mysterious ways on how it gives us challenges. So now that you described a little bit that was really like your moment, where you really wanted to start that passion in that field to really work on yourself and then also help others, where has that really led you now? Because I’ve seen your story now. You’ve written a book and you’re doing like a lot of work when it comes to helping people. And being a good motivational speaker described to me that journey. How has that been for you? So I left corporate America. I grew in my career. I went from a customer service representative to a general manager of 100 million dollar manufacturing facility. And it was just kind of like I got to this point where money and a title wasn’t a driving factor for me anymore. And it was really just about why are we really here and how can we improve ourselves and have a ripple effect in the universe to help transform what’s going on in our world today? Especially for our kids. 1s There’s a lot of cause and effect. Whatever caused the problems that we’re dealing with now, our kids have to deal with the effects of that. 3s I went out to La. And I studied under Mary Morrissey and I became a certified Life Mastery Consultant. And I connected with so many other transformational spiritual thought leaders from around the world and. 2s Just that power of connection and community has just helped me drive my career forward. So now I help my clients overcome limiting beliefs, really connect to their true power, and and take action on their dreams. Because I think most people were conditioned. We’re conditioned to think and feel ways that are disempowering. And it holds us back from really living our life full on and on purpose. I like to say live your dream and wear your passion. And I try to do that every single day. And it’s amazing. Yeah. Kerry and I will say you’ve made a lot of great points. One of the parts that really stuck to me with your last answer was you mentioned how we all have things that limit us from doing the things that we really want to do. And that leads me right to my next question. So let’s say you have a new client or someone is just approaching to you, and they’re stuck. They’re really struggling with trying to find that passion and really trying to find that spark. What would you do to really help them regain that spark and to get them on the right path? So I think we all need to understand the power of our mind. That is, the first thing that we need to understand is we have a subconscious mind and a conscious mind. The subconscious mind operates our bodies 95% of the time. It keeps our heart beating, it allows us to breathe, it regulates our body temperature. But it also is the place that stores our experiences, memories, emotions from the past. What we might not realize is from zero to seven, children are in a theta brainwave frequency. And this is basically a download. So everything the child is exposed to in the outside environment is downloaded into their subconscious program, which I like to call this a supercomputer. In our head, the subconscious is like a computer program. So what’s been downloaded from your childhood into adolescents and young adulthood will continue to replay in the back of your mind, oftentimes unconsciously. So we grow up into adults who have been conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves, about the world around us, and those can have an effect on our results in life because we act based on our beliefs and our values. Right? Well, sometimes we have faulty programs that have been installed in our supercomputer, and we have to become aware of those faulty programs and understand that we can reprogram our mind. So in my book, behind the Screen bye. I teach a seven step life timeline system of transformation. Sounds like a really long word, right? So your life timeline is from birth until today. I’m 40 years old, so I have 40 years of experience, memories, emotions that I’ve processed. Well, I have to get conscious and curious of some things that might not be serving me my family, my career in my life today. So that’s step one, is to start to notice those things that might not be serving you or where you might be unhappy. So if you feel stuck, if you feel like you can’t find your purpose, let’s get curious and start to think about, well, how do I normally think on a daily basis? Okay, now, we think over 600 thoughts. 80% of those are negative, and 95% are from the past. Hence the reason why I’m trying to explain the subconscious program, because if we don’t understand that, then we can never go back into that download and try to rewire the circuitry that’s been running 1s on autopilot automatically, and it might be limiting us. So we need to get conscious and curious about those limiting beliefs so that we can determine their inception point why do I even have these thoughts and feelings and then identify that, hey, this is not the way I want to think and feel. Bye. Because it’s causing me to act or react in particular circumstances and situations that are having a negative effect on my results. So I’m going to start to notice that way of thinking. And then you can learn how to program or re pattern your way of thinking in every present moment. And when you do so, you gain the power and the ability to really take control of the wheel of life. Wow. Carrie and I will say first, when it comes to experiences, and 2s we absorb everything, especially when we’re children and even when we get older, and we’re conditioned to behave a certain way. And like you said, it’s really up to us to be mindful of the way that we behave first. It’s like a really good first step. So that way you’re able to identify and understand 1s your own thoughts and your own behaviors, and then that’s where you can really reflect. And then you’ll be like, all right, I need to change this. I need to work on this. So as I was hearing your answer, that leads me right to my next question. So now that we acknowledge and we are able to identify our thoughts and some of our behaviors that we need to work on, what is really like that next step? You’ve identified and understood like you’ve been behaving a certain way or conditioned a certain way for 40 years, and to immediately change, I know that takes a lot of time and a lot of work. So that just led me right to my next question. We’re comes to the next steps we take. 2s So I’ll kind of talk about the seven step life timeline system of transformation. So step one is I’m going to tag it. I’m going to tag my unconscious behavior pattern or self sabotaging habit, right? I’m going to tag it. That’s basically aware that this is happening. Now, step two is to go back in your memory bank in that faulty program and determine when was the first time that I was exposed to this way of thinking, feeling, or behaving? When did I observe this? When was its inception point in my lifetimeline? And you can usually go back to childhood, adolescence at some point in time. And so that’s step two is to remember it. We got to understand where these things came from in order to uninstall them. Step three is to feel it. Everything is energy. We are energetic beings having a human experience. And when you look at quantum physics and quantum mechanics, everything’s vibrating at a certain frequency down to the subatomic particle perspective. There’s waves of probability out here. Electrons can be in multiple places all at once. The stuff just drives me down the rabbit hole. And it’s based on our observation that turns that wave of probability into a particle of creation. So understanding that everything is energy, a lot of times we don’t process those feelings or emotions from the past that need to be processed. Okay? So we want to feel the way that we felt at this point in time, gain awareness around that. 2s Step four is to flip it. Okay? We walk around life with our blinders on and we think that everyone else is responsible for the problems and I might not contribute, or we don’t see things from someone else’s perspective. Everything in life is about your perspective. I believe your perspective shapes your reality. So if you’re seeing this particular situation from back then with blinders on, take them off and look at the situation from someone else’s perspective. I’ll give you, for instance, 1s my parents got divorced when I was eight, when I was younger and our family split up. Okay? I write about this in my book. I tell really, I actually share my stories of struggle to teach this system of transformation to the readers. So my father got upset when my mom went back to work and she would wear skirts and he would get very upset and they’d yell. He’d yell. And it’s it was scary to me as a little girl. 1s That’s the reason why they got divorced. And I flipped the perspective in sharing this story to say, you know, I never met my grandpa, but from what I understand, my father’s father was a mean old German. This is what they said, and that him and my grandmother came over on the boat from Germany. She never got a job. She had eight kids to raise. She never got a driver’s license. Like, that’s, just the environment and the conditioning. So my father grew up in that environment and became conditioned to think that women should stay home, probably, and take care of the kids. So when my mother went out and got a job and then started wearing skirts, of course his program went ding, ding, ding, and this isn’t okay. And so they fought, and that ended up splitting up my family. But I can’t fault my father for his faulty programs that were passed down to him as well. So that’s why it’s my mission to help people raise their level of consciousness, awareness, to, you know, understand that we don’t have to continue to pass these faulty programs down to our children. We have to stop the cycle. 2s So flipping the perspective can help you see a situation from a different light. Okay. Step five is to release it. Those emotions from the past will continue to follow you in your bio field, in your energy body forever until you release them. And there’s a ton of different ways to release energy and those I write a whole chapter of that in the book. Once you release it, you move on to step six, which is reprogrammed, and that’s reprogramming your mind. So I teach you how to do that. And then step seven is to resonate in the energy of that which you want to manifest because everything’s energy. So that’s the long and short of the seven step system of transformation, but it works. 1s Yeah. Carrie, first I want to say I really appreciate that you are very open to sharing your perspective because I really think it’s important for us to continue to share our perspectives in order for us to be more mindful so that way we can all grow as a collective. And just to add to your point, my parents split when I was at a very young age, too, and similar to you, where it’s like until I started to realize, like, their perspectives and how they were raised, I was kind of in this mindset where it’s like, why would you do this to me? Or you know what I mean? It’s like, because when you’re young, that’s what you think. And then, similar to you, like, I started to realize how my buello raised my father and then how that programming 1s was passed down. And then it’s sort of just like just to add, like, for you, you like to call it the programming that gets transformed. I like to say, like, generational trauma. So it’s the same thing, just different turns. So it’s like the trauma that manifests from generation to generation. So I first want to say credit to you, Carrie, for being so open with sharing your perspective, because I think that’s very powerful. And just from someone listening to your story, I can definitely empathize and relate in some ways when it comes to parents splitting up and how like, that puts a lot of pressure on us, and it’s a lot of pressure on us to realize this generational programming or generational trauma. And we need to be able to identify that and be like, you know what? Like, no, I’m going to do a completely different now that I understand the perspectives. Now let’s grow and let’s work on it. So I first want to commend you, Carrie, for being open to sharing. 2s So to your point, I think that we need to open up and share our stories so that we can realize that, hey, I’m not alone in my perspective, and I might not be alone, but that’s the thing. As I say, people hide behind behind the screen. And that’s a lot of what my book is about. It’s talking about all of these things that we struggle with as people in our humanness that we don’t talk about, right? Because judgment, criticism, whatever you think what this person will think of me or that person, we’re really all the same. We’re all seeking the same thing. We all want love, right? We all want to be loved and respected. But we have these walls, and I think we need to break down the walls, get behind the screen. We’re just a collective. Honestly, that just leaves me right to my next question as well, because it’s like getting your head behind the screen. And my question for you is, has there ever been moments in your life where you kind of struggled with trying to, like you said, put your head behind the screen and being able to share your story? Because I know for myself, I definitely have had moments. Like, before I made this podcast and stuff, I did have moments where I did struggle with opening up and trying to so that just leads right to my next question for you. Like, did you ever have those moments? 1s Yes, all the time. And it took me four years to write this book. One year I gave up because it was like, 2020. It was hard. There was things going on, but I just knew, I know this is my calling. I know this is my purpose, so I didn’t stop. But here’s the truth behind my screen. I 1s deal with negative self talk a lot, which I think a lot of people do. So I share my truth. I am so vulnerable in my book. I share that when I was in college, I sold drugs, and I have been a highly successful woman in corporate America. And for me to share that truth is still very scary to me. But I’m owning my truth because I believe that I want to lead people in the direction of overcoming their past and just letting it out there to say, we all make mistakes and we all get stuck in these dark places, but we’re able to rise above that. And that’s the beauty. That’s the transformation that I want to share. So, yes, I’ll never forget 1s when I held the book in my hands for the first time. I was sitting there with my boyfriend and I said, okay, I’m just going to open up a page and I’m going to read you a paragraph of it. And I started reading the paragraph, and I was like, okay, never mind, I’m just kidding. And then I looked at him, like, with deer in the headlight look. And I’m like, People are going to read this. I can’t believe people are actually going to read this. Like, maybe I shared too much truth. So if you really want a really good book to read that’s raw and real and uncut, get behind the screen, 1s and it just might help transform your life. So. 

 Yeah. Carrie, and I Just Want To Add To, Like, Power To You For Writing That Book and To Be Able To Be So Vulnerable, because There’s Going To Be A Lot Of People That Do Read Your Book, and They’re Going To Be Able To Relate And like you said, that’s the power of vulnerable storytelling as well. Once we’re able to open up, then we’re able to at least there’s so many new possibilities in your book and stuff. I bet you your book has taken you to a lot of different perspectives in which you haven’t even realized it would take. Yes. I mean, in writing about it, I had to process trauma. Still, that I didn’t realize that as I’m writing was resurfacing. In fact, I remember writing it was 821 2020 at 08:21 PM. And I took a picture of it. And it’s actually documented in the book of this is a moment in time that I became aware of this as I’m writing to you. And I actually told about steps that I was taking in that moment to overcome my own trauma that was coming up for me during writing the book. So it’s pretty pretty incredible. 2s Yeah, definitely. Carrie and I want to say again, just I commend you for being able to be so open and to share because it’s very important at the end of the day. But let’s transition a little bit. I know we talked a lot about, like, your journey, like, what led you to your book and motivational speaking, clash, all that stuff, that passion to really help others. Relationships are a big part of our lifetime. Like you said earlier, we are energy and we feed off of each other’s energy. When it comes to relationships, what are some qualities that you really look for in, like a friendship or even like a romantic partner? Honesty and integrity and trust. 2s Those are the biggest ones. We have to be honest with ourselves and others. And I’ll say for the romantic piece, because I spent so many years searching for love and yearning for love that will never come until you love yourself. 1s And 2s millions of people struggle with just that self love and compassion for me. And filling your own cup because you can’t give from an empty cup. And then also we have these voids. We all have voids inside of ourselves. And it’s like we look to the external environment, to others, to fill the voids in us. Maybe we’re looking for love because we fill this void, but no one and nothing is going to fill the void inside you. That’s your own inner work to do. And so I think it’s just truly important, really. 2s You know, spend time with yourself and learn to forgive yourself, love yourself, fill your own cup before you look for someone else to fill your cup, if that make sense. 2s Oh, yeah, Kerry, it definitely makes sense. I know for me, I’ve definitely been in relationships where I did try and seek out my missing parts inside of myself into. My partner says I was hearing your answer. Like, I really liked the visualization as well of the empty cup. You can’t give on an empty cup. You need to be able to fill yourself up, love yourself with love, compassion, empathy, all of that stuff, and then you’ll be able to have healthy relationships. So I think it’s spot on. But is there anything else you would like to add when it comes to relationships? Because I know in your book have you mentioned any part about relationships in your book as well? 1s It’s all in there. 2s My first relationship, I dated a guy when I was 14 to 23. We were together nine years. It was actually an interracial relationship. My family disowned me, so I really had no sense of family growing up. And he cheated on me, the guy. So I went through a lot of it was an emotional roller coaster, to say the least. And 2s I had to work a lot later on in life of letting that stuff go, that hurt, that pain, that heartbreak, and learning how not to manifest that same relationship over and over again. Because I think that spiritually or energetically, whatever it is. Karmically we have to connect to our power within and become more self aware so that we stop repeating these stories. Because I’m a woman and I’ll say, I like the bad guys, right? And that’s like something you always hear women say, oh, I just attract the bad guys. Well, listen up, ladies. Let’s get curious as to why you continue to attract the bad guys, because I can guarantee there’s a little void in you that needs to be filled. And when you do that, you’ll stop attracting those emotionally exhausting relationships. And that’s why 1s the Subconscious program, that programming from childhood, you got to go back there and clean up the mess, 2s or else you’ll continue to carry it into your present moment. 2s Even just to take it a little step further, like, I’ve been studying a lot about, like, psychology topics that I want to be a counselor, and also I’ve been learning more about astrology along the way too. There’s also, like, certain aspects, like, of astrology, so I know, like, cancer energy, scorpio energy, a lot of water energy. They’re very emotionally in tune, and they have this need to caretake in that nurturing energy. So when you are a nurturer, you attract people that 1s need nurturing. And that’s where, like you said, Carrie, those relationships tend to form where it’s like you have one partner that really focuses on the nurturing and caretaking, but they need to fill their cups within themselves, but if they don’t, they end up finding partners where they try and fill that void for them and all that fun stuff, too. So just to take it a step further, as I was hearing your answer, I was like, yeah, there’s definitely some psychological as well, and just the energy to nurture and try to caretake. Yeah, I believe we live in a holographic universe, and it’s just a mirror. Everything in our life is like a mirror. Your screen is a mirror, so the screen is your lens of life. It’s how you view other people, it’s how you view yourself, and it really is a mirrored reflection. So I say we have these mirrored reflections and perceptions and the matrix of it all. And so it’s learning how to navigate the duality of the positive and negative energy, the life energy, and just. 1s The essence, that our being, our state of being in every present moment. So we will continue to manifest the same types of stories until we get or evolve spiritual to the level of having the awareness to stop, maybe resonating on that frequency. I just want to say again, I really appreciate your openness as well, to share not only like your personal experiences, but relationship experiences as well, because I know it can definitely be a great challenge for me. It’s taken a lot of therapy work to be able to be open and be vulnerable with sharing credit to you as well. I just want to first say as well, because it does take a lot of work, like we talked about earlier, the steps that we need to take, it’s easier said than done, but just transition a little bit. I know we talked a lot about relationships and your journey so far, and I’ve really appreciated your openness and the way how you just want to help people and find that passion in others and all that fun stuff. When it comes to astrology, how is your overall relationship been with astrology? I know you said in the beginning, like, you were able to once you’re able to look spiritually, you were able to take those steps forward. What is your overall relationship with astrology in general? Well, I think that the sun and moon and everything is all interconnected. We’re woven and our ancient ancestors look to the stars and to the gods and the moon. I want to learn more about it. I think it’s amazing. And even the cycles when there’s a new moon and a full moon, like, I’m also an Empath too. So your energy, you just feel 2s yeah, astrology is amazing. So spread some light on us. Yeah, definitely as well. And how we’re going to start off this astrology discussion. I always have my guests when we come on. I always like to share the website. It’s called thehoroscope Co. So if you’re just learning and want to figure out how does my planets and how does my science interact with each other, you just Google your sun and moon and then it gives you a little bit of like a reading and stuff. So, Carrie, as I give you your reading, just let me know how you feel about it overall. So you’re a Capricorn Sun with a Scorpio moon and it says a Savvy personality. 1s Detached and resourceful. The Capricorn stone scorpio moon personality will keep calm under the most difficult of situations. So positives for your sun and Moon combination can be very affectionate, can be tenacious and very serious at times negatives can be a little bit too aggressive sometimes. Perfect partner someone who stands by their principles and decisions. And word of advice for your sun and Moon combination try to be less moralistic and critical of some people. So as I give you positives, negatives, perfect partner and advice, I know it’s allotted in a short period of time, but what are some thoughts that come to mind? I’m very tenacious and sometimes I can be called aggressive 1s because I’m me and that’s all there is to it. But I agree with the partner part. 1s Keeping calm understood certain circumstances, I’m not sure about that. I’m learning, 2s but it was pretty good. 2s Yeah, and just to add, Carrie, as well, as we evolve to certain aspects of our astrology chart tend to change as well. But from our conversation, you seem very calm. You have, like, your book, and you’re able to you’re so comfortable with sharing your experiences, and that takes a lot of calmness too, 1s because when we share our experiences, we can be very anxious, and that can really take a toll. So I will counter your point and say, you know what? I think you’re actually quite calm, Carrie, from our first conversation. Okay, I’ll go with that. 2s I’ve done a lot of work through the years. Yeah, definitely. That just shows you, again, like, your growth from where you started from to where you are today. But just to add a little bit, when it comes to astrology, I have one more thing. So I’ve been recently, I’ve been learning a lot about planets and their overall meetings, and I’ve also been learning about houses and the importance of houses as well. So when I looked at your chart, 1s You have four placements. So there are seven planets. There’s like the big seven. So you have your sun sign, Moon sign, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. These seven planets are all ruled under certain and sign. So, like, the sun sign is Leo rules the sun for the Moon. Cancer rules the Moon. For Mercury. It’s Gemini and Virgo. For Venus. It’s Taurus and Libra. For Mars. It’s Scorpio and Aries. And for Jupiter. For Jupiter. It’s SAGITTARIUS. And then for Uranus, it’s Capricorn and Aquarius. So once your planet 2s I’m trying to describe it a little bit. Like, the planets each have like, certain values and meanings. That’s pretty much what I’m trying to say. So when I look at your chart, Carrie, your Moon sign, your Mars, Jupiter and Saturn are all in your second house. So your second house is that’s the house of possessions and material things. So, like, money, internal motivation, all that stuff. So you have a lot of Scorpio and Libra energy. And the fact that you have four placements in one house can show a lot of the clashes because Saturn is more like responsibility and hard work and determination. Jupiter is the opposite of Saturn. Jupiter is like, you know what? We’re free, we’re free spirited. I’m going to keep doing this, keep doing that. And then Mars is like the planet of aggression or like, assertiveness. So, like, putting yourself out there. So I can see in this house, when it comes to money, when it comes to internal motivation, when it comes to overall material possessions, you have like a mixture of clashes. So you have your one side where it’s like, I want to push myself and I want to take the next challenge in, like, this intensity. Because Scorpio is ruled by Mars and your Moon is in Mars, and that emotional intensity rules your world a little bit. And then you also have another side where it’s like now with hard work and dedication or like, I cannot take these chances. 1s The conflicts in that one house, as I’m describing it, just let me know how do you feel, because I am still in the learning process of it, but I just want to see how your overall feeling when it comes to that. 1s I think I’m sitting in this house. 3s No, for real, what you’re saying right now is like the house that I live in right now is a very, very, very big house for my son and I. But I bought it because there’s in law suite for my mother. So I have like a 4800 square foot house for really my son and I. It’s way too big. But it was like my dream house. And so I’m in my dream office. This is the vision room I’m in. I created it. But at the same time I’m like all the time conflicted of I don’t need this big house and it’s too much work and then I have to do this and this, but it’s what I wanted. But then it’s really not. And so yeah, that makes perfect sense. How do I fix it? 2s So when it comes to how do you fix it? It comes into that internal like you said, like the internal reflection and just coming at peace when it comes to what you did. So for you, you’ve had this dream house envision and you put so much hard work and dedication to it. So now it’s just like let’s appreciate it because like you said, you’ve had that dream at a young age. This is the dream house that you wanted. So now that you’ve taken those steps and you’ve done the internal reflection, now it’s time to just appreciate it. And it’s that Saturn, 2s the part of you that says this house is not like I could have made it a little smaller or something like that. That’s the Saturn planet. Because Saturn is more is all about responsibility, father time, working hard to get what you want. So ignore your Saturn. That’s what I’m going to say. Ignore that Saturn because you put in so much work, time and effort for that. So congratulations by the way, too, because I know it took a lot of work and time. Thank you. And it’s kind of like and that’s it, we work 2s and then it’s like we work to get here and then once we’re here okay, now what? And that’s right. I just need to relax, be grateful. I’m grateful for the journey. I appreciate this beautiful house that we live in. And that’s right, it’s something times we need that reflection. See, you’re reflecting to me. So. 2s Be more aware. This is great stuff, Josh. Oh, of course. Yeah, I know. Over the course of, like, my vacation and of course, like, the past month, I’ve been reading more about this. So, like, when I saw your chart, I was like, Dang, like, so many planets are in one house, so you’re just, like, clashing with each other just to share with myself. A lot of my planets are also in my second house, too, so I have conflicts with me. It’s more about how I spend my money. So I have my moon and stuff is like, oh, you should not spend money on this. This. And then I have, like, a goofy side. I mean, it’s like, you only live once. Let’s do it. So it’s crazy how, like, when it comes to the second house for a similar but there’s, like, different planets that are in each house. But, yeah, I just wanted to share that there was a couple of aspects when it came to your chart because that was really what stood out to me. But overall, Kerry, I’ve really appreciated our conversation. Thank you for, again, being so open to share your story, when to come to your book and your journey to where you got in the present moment, even sharing about relationships and all that stuff, and even being open with sharing your chart, because I know it can be a lot, but where can everybody check out your work and. 1s Check out your book and all that fun stuff. Yeah. So you can go to my website as Carrinschmidt.com. You can find all my social media links and information on how to work with me. You can even book a complimentary strategy if you want to know what it’s like to kind of work with a life coach or business consultant. And then you can go to Amazon and get behind the screen by Kerry Schmidt. Would love for you to read it. And if you do, please leave an honest review. It’s available in bookstores as well. If it’s not there yet, they will be coming because I just launched the book on June 1. So I’m so grateful. Thank you for having me. Josh, thank you for this platform. Thank you for all the listeners. It takes a community, it takes a village, so it’s one day at a time, one page at a time, one person at a time, and we can really transform the world and make it a better place. Yeah, definitely. Carrie and I’ll make sure to put all of the links for your book, whether that’s Amazon, even your website, in the show descriptions. That way you guys can all check out Kerry’s work and all that fun stuff. And I want to say again before we wrap everything up, congratulations. I wish you the best of luck when it comes to your book journey. Now, do you have any other projects in the woodworks? Are you thinking about a second book yet or no? 2s Yes, I am, but I got to get this one out there to the masses first. So I’m going to do an audible. I’ll have an audible coming out in a couple of months. And just know that the system of transformation I teach in the book is really, like, life changing. But if a reader wants to go further, I offer a supplemental coaching course to master your mindset and heal your soul, which takes you deeper into that seven step system. But you can work with me and I can help go deeper into that program and helping reprogram and repattern your mind to manifest what you would love. And it works because I’ve been doing it for ten years. 1s But thank you so much. I appreciate your time, of course, and like I said before, thank you, Carrie, for everything and please stay safe. Thank you, you’ve zoo. 

Summary

Hey guys, and welcome back to the podcast! Today’s podcast guest is Martin Theis. He is a spiritual teacher, has experience studying spirit animals (totem animals), and is passionate about helping people learn and understand their Shamanic Journeys. Today’s podcast will cover topics ranging from Spirit Animals to relationships and what Martin has experienced through his journey. You can check out Martin’s work by clicking on the links below! Like always, please like, rate, and subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Your ratings will help boost the podcast overall.  Martin’s Website:  https://www.lighttrails.co/ Martin’s Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/lighttrails_co/ — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

 Hey, everybody, and welcome to the podcast. Today’s episode talks about the story of Martin. Martin is a spiritual teacher that has also mastered three languages and has always had a passion for helping others. Our podcast, we really get into a lot of Martin’s journey, from struggling to find himself to really finding and reconnecting with nature. We also talk about totem animals and spirit animals, and the conversation is really cool. And I ten out of ten recommend you guys to really focus in on your dreams and the animals that you constantly see around you, because maybe they are your own spirit animals. But you can check out Martin and all of his work by clicking on the links in the show description. And if you guys ever want to know more about spirit animals and all that stuff, you can message Martin personally on his social media. But without further ado, here is my conversation with Martin. 3s Hey, everybody, and welcome to your spiritual best friend. I am your host, Josh Sanchez, and I’m here with a very special guest, Martin. Martin, what’s going on and how are you doing today? I’m doing well, thank you. Thank you for the invitation. And I’m happy to hang out with my spiritual best friend. So what’s going on, man? Nothing much. It’s just been obviously very busy and stuff and just another day in our spiritual journey. And Martin, I think really just to start off our whole conversation, I know you’re very big into helping people. Where did that passion really stem from for you? That’s a good question. I guess it is partly knowing how shitty life can feel and how it feels. If I don’t know, how do. 2s Deal with that, actually. So I think my passion comes from I was stuck in something that was really not feeling too great, and I found a way that helped me a lot. And so I feel like maybe there’s more people out there who don’t know what they can do or what they can actually become. 1s And so that’s my passion, to just reach as many people as who are willing to actually listen and maybe take away a little bit from my journey from what I learned. Yeah. And I know you mentioned, Martin towards the end of the answer, that you’ve definitely went through a journey and you’re really trying to help others go through their own journeys. And that really leads me just, like, right to my next question. So let’s say someone comes to you and asking for help. What do you really do when it comes to your practice and stuff to really help them really find themselves? 1s So I would say you. Bye. My observation is that most, not all, but most people don’t know really what to do with their lives. It’s kind of like, what is my meaning? What is my purpose? What am I doing here? Like, there’s a great movie with Ryan Reynolds where he keeps on asking, what am I doing here? So 2s that would be the most common question. And when people come to me, what we do is we’ll just try to find it. It’s not too hard because our emotions, if we know how to look, we can actually find the biggest pain, but also the biggest ambition. And by just creating a roadmap and letting go of old stuff and inviting new stuff, that’s a really simplified version. We get to experience a different light because it’s completely different. We turned around or turned things around, more or less. We didn’t turn around, but we turned things around. And I can definitely see how, especially through life events and stuff, we can lose ourselves in the process. We lose the things that we enjoy doing. We lose the things that really make us like that inner kid. I like to say the inner kid. The inner child because of life stressors and stuff. And we definitely lose that aspect. So credit to you, Martin, for trying to really help people regain that and really try to get them on that right path. Because like you mentioned, we are on our own spiritual journeys and stuff like that, too, but just continuing everything. I know when it comes to work, I know you travel a lot. What’s your overall history been with traveling and really trying to find yourself and also continue to do the work that you love to do. Yeah. So you’re really doing a great job. By the way. I love your questions. So the traveling, I think some people might be able to relate to that. The traveling was actually a cause for not wanting to be aware where I was. I felt really shitty where I was. And so I just thought, this has to be with. 2s This place, so I need to go to another place. And then you go to another place, and in the beginning it’s fine, and then it turns into ship again. So my traveling in the beginning was mostly wanting to get away from stuff and then realizing, okay, it’s actually not working. Like wanting to go away from a certain family issue or something I have is actually making it worse because I’m trying to avoid it, and it will just increase and intensify. But 2s my traveling has always been I went to a certain place, and then I stayed there for a couple of months, to a couple of years, and then I moved on. So I’m not a globetrotter in the sense that I’ve seen the whole world, but I’ve stayed extensive amounts of time in different places. And the beauty of that is I felt these places, every place I went to taught me some important lesson and was supporting me in the steps I was going through at the time. So that’s why I love going away and coming back in a sense, because we have these different teachers in form of people, different languages, different landscapes, different animals. So Hawaii, for example, where I live right now in Europe, is there’s no ocean, and I have to drive maybe 4 hours to the Netherlands to be at the ocean. But one thing I love when I’m back in Hawaii is that the ocean is always there because it’s such a great teacher and it also feels so nice to just be in the ocean. 2s Yes. Martin just to add, like, as I was hearing you described certain places that you go to, we have this deeper spiritual connection to it’s kind of hard, really, to explain kind of with words I just know for myself 1s whenever I go down to the beach, I live in the East Coast, in America, so around the Philadelphia area. So I’ll go down to the Delaware Shore. But for some reason, I’ve taken trips to different beaches down in the Eastern Coast, and I’ve had a different spiritual feeling in all these places. For me, the beach on the East Coast where I know I can go to, and I just had, like, this more deeper spiritual connection was definitely when I went with my girlfriend down in Virginia Beach a couple of years ago, we just went, and it just immediately clicked. It was just something about the water, the atmosphere, the people around. Like, it really just helped us just re ground ourselves, and we really just felt in tune with nature there. Whereas with Delhi beaches, they’re still fun, but it was just more of like a deeper spiritual meaning in certain places you go. So as I was hearing your answer, I was like, I mean, seeing Hawaii, being around the beach in the shore and then also going and living in Germany as well and being around there so those two different environments can give you two different things. Absolutely. And I just returned in February from a stay in Norway, where I was in the middle of the mountains. A lot of snow. Kind of like maybe the northern US states or Canada, where it’s just so much snow that it’s never ending. As soon as when it starts, it’s not the ending. And the beauty is that environment is also so beautiful. There’s certain other things that come up in that kind of environment in the winter when there is not a lot of sunlight. When I didn’t actually see the sun directly for two months because it was 1s staying behind the mountains. So many different places that give us what we need at the time and how help us grow. Help us transform and evolve. 

 So when it comes to like spirit animals and stuff, one, like how do you feel about them overall? And two, like what have you realized with like spirit animals and stuff like that? Since I’m working with spirit animals or totem animals, in my education, I was taught in 1s shamanic teachings, which a big part of is the shamanic journey. One of the first few things we learn when we start out on that road is to get to know your totem animal or spirit animal. And so every person finds their totem animal who is participating at the workshop. 2s Some people find animals they have always been close to, others find animals or animals show up that they would never have expected, where they feel like well, I had never anything to do with that animal. So it doesn’t matter if 2s a toy or something as a kid that has been that animal and it’s not that, then, it just means that it is different attributes because the animals that show up as bird animals have kind of a unique characteristic. And when we observe animals in nature, we can learn a lot about the animals, but also about ourselves. And I love to bring up the example for the jaguar and leopard, which are basically, to the untrained eye, people couldn’t even say what is what, because they only know this is a big cat. It has a kind of like a repeating pattern. But the difference between those two, especially in conflict situations, is that the Jaggera is really muscular and really powerful. So they approach head on, they just attack from the front. And the leopard is slimmer and is also more kind of like. 2s In the back and has to kind of sneak around a little bit because they are not as powerful. They cannot resolve conflict by brute force, but have to kind of like revert back to a certain technique. So knowing that when the leopard is I told them animal I know. Maybe I had on collision or a conflict without preparation, without kind of like grounding myself is not the best idea because I’m not the most powerful in these situations. That is just one example where it’s helpful to know about environments and what our children’s animal is strong in, what is enemies. 2s I don’t know. There are so many things we could look at and then just see. How does that apply to me? How do I feel in that situation? Well, yeah, I’m getting this spirit animal and stuff like that too. It’s helping us really connect with the environment more, be more observant of the animals that are around us. And once we’re able to be more aware of the animals that are around us or the animals that are consistently showing in our lives and their qualities and their traits, we can also learn from them just as much as like because we’re all connecting together. So, as I was hearing you describe that answer, I was like wow, this is really cool. Because my next question is because I know for other people that because I know, especially here in the United States when it comes to nature, we have definitely had a history of doing the exact opposite of respecting nature. Obviously. So how would a person really find like their totem animal or like that spirit animal? So I would say the first important thing is that I am open to finding my totem animal. And that is not meant as a judgment. It’s just like there are some people who cannot remember dreams because at some point maybe they decided I don’t really want to remember my dreams because maybe they were too traumatic or nightmarish or painful or whatever. And so if I doubtful in the beginning and I think this is probably not working for me or any kind of like negative self limiting beliefs, then it might be difficult. But if you’re open and willing to work on it, if it doesn’t work out the first time, it will the next or the time after that. And it’s basically a real simple 2s shamanic journey is for the sake of the argument and to take to spare some time. It’s just like a meditation where images come up, where we see things, hear things, where we just are perceiving, but not through the eyes or our main senses. But it’s different. But it’s like a meditation, just like I said. 1s To save some time. And so the totem animal journey is where we seek go out and seek that animal. We call for our totem animal to show up. And then if animals show up, we converse with them, ask them, are you my total minimal? So that’s kind of like the basic gist. The reason why I feel so strongly about the work that I do is because I was not a very environmentally conscious person when I started to do this work. And through the work, we connect with nature, like I said, and we look at animals, we see them more as 2s the same, but different than us. Rather than that, we can own any part of their reality, 1s to be more loving towards everything that is alive. And so I feel that strongly about it because that is what has gotten lost and what we really need to find in order to be able to not tackle, but maybe to steer through the climate crisis that is ahead. So I feel that is an important step where people are able to slowly reconnect with nature through these kind of teachings, through the work which has been always there. It’s kind of like shamanism, even though there is not one approach, but it’s just basically one of the oldest ways of connection that has existed for a long time. Yeah, definitely. Martin and I will say I completely agree. We really need to reconnect with nature and credit to you for doing a lot of practices and really trying to help people do that because it’s so important reconnecting with nature and stuff. And even for you to admit, like, hey, there was a time where I definitely did not have that connection with nature. And now, through your own spiritual journey, you’re able to reconnect with nature, and now you’re able to help others and really grow. It’s crazy how, like, once we start, when we are on our spiritual journeys, we’re starting to realize and pick up on things. And as we’re growing, we’re completely a different person than we once were. And just like my next question just for you, Martin, is like because I know from starting in your journey, you had to really find that connection with nature when it comes to advice, what’s some advice that you would give to someone that is really struggling to really try and find themselves or just need to take those first couple steps in their own spiritual journey? 2s Relax, you know, breathe, sit down. 1s There’s nothing that needs to be done that is kind of like as the main statement. There is nothing that needs to be done, because 2s I’m already here. I’ve already arrived, even though it doesn’t feel like it. I feel like I need to do all that stuff. I need to go to workshops. I need to check out my spiritual best friend on podcast and listen to every episode five times to really get all out of it. But to someone who’s starting out, there’s this beautiful quote from the Buddha, and I’m not a historian, so I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s where the reference I usually read, and it says, before enlightenment, we chop wood and we carry water. After enlightenment, we chop wood and we carry water. So there is this kind of like this infamous enlightenment where it feels like, I’m done. I’m done. I don’t need to do. I’m happy, I’m glad. I’m in constant bliss that is just not happening, to just see. We are evolving. We are a species that is continuously evolving and learning, and we are here to make. 2s To realize, like, life itself and there is nothing else to then consciousness experiencing itself and to experience that I am consciousness. You are consciousness. We are both experiencing consciousness. Consciousness. And so there’s nothing to do. That’s what I would say. Just breathe. 1s Follow your passion. If something interests me I was hooked on ecardule the first time I listened to his book. And passion led me down into that spiritual rabbit hole where I just always felt like, oh, I haven’t read this book, and this really interests me. And it kind of resonates with me. It’s not that I think I have to learn what is said or I have to kind of, like, do anything, but it just felt so good to listen to these teachers, to me, and that was my way. Other people’s way is different. But following passion, follow what feels good to you. And then always knowing there is nothing, nothing to do or no place to be. It’s just here right now. 2s It’s like staying in and finding ways to stay in the present moment because there’s so many things in our life. Martin again, there’s so many things that we’ve done in the past that we can regret and there’s so many things in the future that we worry about and we’re just is constantly in that state like, oh, I’m over worried about this, or I need to over plan, or I made so many mistakes in the past where it’s like, how are you doing now in this present moment? Just to add to your answer. Martin just like re grounding yourself, everything would be okay. Realizing that is a great piece of advice, martin and I really appreciate your answer, but yeah. Martin so just continuing a little bit, I know we talked a lot about your own spiritual journey, and I know I really appreciate you being able to be open up and to realize, hey, the root causes of why you like to travel and stuff, just to really find like yourself if you had to go back in time and ask your past self what’s the advice that you would give to your past self that you did not know? Now, I think the difficulty is, and I love that question, but that question is the paradox, because I made these mistakes, because everything that I did until the day today was part of my journey. So it feels like wanting to, 2s I don’t know, maybe shove something really big through a needle hole. It is almost impossible. It is impossible. 2s But I would tell myself if I was able to listen at that time, which I am doubting, that I would listen to me 1s the way I was back then, but. 2s To just follow your heart. You know, like I said before, follow your passion. So many people do certain things out of reasons that are not created in a way that they want to be creating them. It is more like I have to do certain things or obligations or responsibilities I need to provide for my family, which is all important. But to trying to do that through what is it that my heart is telling me, and then to integrate that and provide for my family by being true to myself. But that is a really difficult thing to tell someone because maybe they haven’t suffered enough. If I talk to myself, if I would tell myself, I would probably not listen. Suffer, suffer, suffer. Until I remember there was a student that told me something. So maybe I shouldn’t be looking at what other people expect of me and start doing my own thing, which took me a long time. That’s why I said it. I was probably 35 when I realized, why don’t I just do what I want rather than fulfilling other people’s expectations of what I should be doing? Yeah. Martin and that’s definitely in credit to you for taking that step. And the point that I always want to tell people to is we are all on our own, like, spiritual journey. So it’s like whenever you realize you have that realization moment, that’s okay. Like, for you, it was 35. For other people, it’s younger. For other people, it’s older. I interviewed someone that got her PhD at like 50. So it’s like these different we all have our own spiritual timeline. And credit to you, Martin, for realizing that. And that leads me just like right to my next question, because I know when it comes to relationships, whether that’s relationships with family, relationships with friends, relationships in general, we learn a lot of things throughout our journey in our relationships. So my question, just for you is, when it comes to relationships, what are some things that you have learned? Whether that’s relationships with family, friends, loved ones, even with yourself, what are some things that you’ve learned from all that and your experience? Yeah. Right down to the core of things. Right. Round does this quote, and now we speak again about enlightenment. But Round us said, if you think you’re enlightened, go home to your family. And I love that quote because it is just so true, right, that we get triggered immediately, or I do, at least by certain things. My mom, my parents do, all my brother does. And so. 2s I think it’s important to as difficult as it is to not take things personally and with family, like, we just spoke about relationships and relationships in general. And I would say the closer we closer we let people 1s let them come, let our guards down or where we kind of like the more connected we are, the more difficult it is to really not take things personally. But what I’ve learned over the years with working with my family a lot like me, not that we set together, but I was working with family issues in my training is that if we don’t take things personally and learn to look through the other person’s eye 2s and to be compassionate, then 1s there is not as much drama or no drama, depending on how well we’re doing. In that sense that 2s nobody intentionally hurts anyone. Maybe a few, I don’t know. But I’ve not learned of anyone who intentionally felt like treating their loved ones shitty because they wanted to. And going back to my past, when I was treating my ex-girlfriend 1s badly, the feeling I had was, I don’t want to do this, as if I was just looking over my shoulder and there were some mean guys being really mean. And I felt like, I don’t want this. I want to have a good time, you know? So I feel everybody really wants that. So if we’re able to be compassionate, which is difficult, I always say that being compassionate with our family who hurt us and kind of like, maybe created this or that trauma 2s is difficult. But it’s definitely a thing that helps us have much more positive and loving relationships. 

 First, I want to say credit to you for being very open and being able to share, because I know it’s very hard to share and to open up when it comes to stressors. For me, I definitely can relate to you as well because a lot of my family, a lot of my relationships with my family, I’m still in the process of trying to help them out and trying to work things out and stuff. Because I do have certain family members that have because again, like we mentioned before, everybody’s on their own spiritual journey. And I definitely have some family members that are kind of in just like this cycle where they just continue to make same mistakes over and over and over again. And it puts all of us in a state of flight or fight, because when we’re stressed, we’re in a state of fight or flight. So just like you said, Martin, just really trying to build empathy, really trying to understand the other person’s side and how they’re feeling. Because like you said, Martin, very rarely are we going to find people that intentionally really want to talk, to make fun of and hurt people. Everyone generally, they want to do good, but it’s just like. 2s For us, we have to really take the time to really just build that compassion and build and which is easier said than done in and look through their eyes as well. So that way once we’re able to see things through their eyes, it’s sort of like, okay, like, now we we know what’s happening and now we can address it, be mindful of it, and then we can start to work out things and let’s make and we can rebuild these family relationships I wanted to share and just add that as well to the conversation because similar to you, as I was hearing, like your story, I was like, yeah, I’m definitely resonating with some of the things, too, with certain family members of myself, 1s me and my father, just to share. We’ve recently reconnected because our relationship has always been up and down. And it was up until both him and me both realized through our points of views that’s when we’re able to find that mutual respect and we’re starting to open up to each other and be more comfortable. But that step, Martin, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m 24. That step probably took like 15 years of just ups and downs. So as I was hearing the answer, I just want to be like, just wanted to share as well because it’s important for us to open up and have these conversations so that way more people are mindful of them. But credit to you, Martin, for doing that. 1s Thank you. And I think one thing when you spoke felt like important to say as well, because that what we just talked about is more common in society, that we hear that a lot, but also that we need to to create boundaries. It is important to say, stop, this is far enough. Like whatever we are talking about. If I feel a boundary of myself is being touched in the sense of like someone is approaching and I’m saying, okay, this is enough. I don’t want to hear this, I don’t want to see this. Whatever. To be really clear and to be that in a 1s loving way, as difficult as it might sound. But anger in itself will just create a counterreaction. Right? So because you ask, what is my advice? My advice is definitely to have good relationships. But sometimes my teacher said it’s important to bite first and then to clarify if it’s getting to a point where the line has been crossed, then it’s okay to bite and to apologize and say, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be like that. But there is a boundary and you cross it. And I didn’t have the ways of communicating it early because I didn’t realize. But when I realized and you didn’t back off, I needed to do something because you were really kind of like encroaching or kind of like it’s. Coming 1s over that line. Yeah, like you said, like boundary setting is so important and it’s important for us to stick to the boundaries that we set. And as we are growing, obviously, like when we’re younger, certain people, they know boundaries perfectly when they’re younger. For other people, we have to learn that. And for myself, similar to you a little bit too, I’ve had to learn a lot about boundary setting with my family and also even with some of my relationships in the past too, I’ve really had to learn that boundary setting is so important and to point that out when people cross the boundary because we’re not just going to be like, oh, I just violated about like no, sometimes it happens by mistaken by accident, but it’s up to us to be like, hey, you violated the boundary here. 1s Whatever boundary it is, you either accept it or you don’t. You know what I mean? So we have to be able to acknowledge that. So credit to you Martin, for doing that. 1s It’s definitely hard though. It’s easier said than done, 1s but just transition a little bit. I know we talked a lot about your journey, we talked a little bit about relationships and I’ve really enjoyed our conversation so far. But with this podcast, I do like to add a little astrology element to it. So for Martin, a little general question when it comes to astrology, how do you feel about it overall and do you and how much do you really know about astrology? 2s I would say 1s I know the zodiac signs. I know the elements that belong to the zodiac signs. I 1s know when those zodiac signs, when you tell me you’re birthday, I know what zodiac sign you are. Apart from that, I just know a little bit about my rising sign, 1s like my son and my Ascendant, because I read up on this. And other than that, I would say general knowledge. A little bit about those different signs and how their characters are a little bit, maybe, for example, some I don’t know that well. And I try to deduce from the element that is consistent in that zodiac sign and then to kind of feel for it. How does that sign feel to me and what are the traits of people? Common traits maybe. So I’m not knowledgeable about that. That’s where I leave convention and just make up my mind. Dive into stereotypes sometimes, but they are often more often true than not. So that’s my knowledge. 1s Yeah, definitely. Barton I always like to ask that question because I would like to view astrology as it’s like another tool in the toolbox to help understand ourselves. There are so many resources out there and there’s so many that a lot of them were not aware of, like, even with the stuff like you who do, Martin, that we’ve talked about earlier in the podcast. For me, that was my first time hearing about spirit animals and totem animals and connecting with nature. So it’s crazy to see how much resources there are there, but how much we really need to know, we don’t know. So that’s how I like to view astrology as well. It’s like another way to help us understand each other. And for you, Martin, just like overall for me, the planets I know you mentioned rising sign that’s like, who you appear to others as, like, first impressions, the energy you give off to people, sun sign, obviously, when people ask when’s your birthday? That’s when you can figure out that’s who you are to your core. The Moon sign is like, how you process things emotionally. And I think this is the part of the chart that has always been very interesting, because when people ask who you are to your core, how you process things emotionally can be completely different. 2s So for yours, Martin, 1s your son is in Virgo, and then your Moon sign is in Gemini. So it makes sense as to Gemini energies. Very, like, social, likes to travel, likes to really, like free spirited, really 1s likes to find, like, deep, intuitive conversations. But since Gemini is an air sign, if you picture the air, air can be very free flowing and very gentle, but also can be stone cold. 1s You have a mixture of Gemini and you have Virgo energy as well, because you’re a Virgo sun, Mercury, that’s the planet of communication. So communication style, yours is also in Virgo as well. So these are like some of the planets that I do know a little bit. But like I mentioned before, it’s just another way to help us understand ourselves. And I know Virgos are very detail oriented. They really like to sit back, analyze. So I can definitely see how the mixture of the Virgo energy for you were that passion for helping people, sitting back, really trying to focus on the details, really help them like, hey, what is going on here? That you need to reset and reflex. That way you’re able to grow and be an even better self. And then the Gemini energy is the putting yourself out there, wanting to come on podcast, wanting to know information, loving to read, because Gemini love that. As I was describing the mixture of the two energies a little bit, how do you feel? 2s Feels good. And I didn’t even know about the Moon sign being the emotional handling and it’s a double sign, right? Gemini. So it’s ambivalence, it’s also up and down. It’s kind of like that dynamic of that double sign. So I definitely resonate with that. Not only stone cold, but maybe at some point really nice. And the next minute when something happens, I get really angry really fast. So yeah, emotions. And that sign is something I didn’t know and I thank you for that. Yes, of course. And once we are done recording, I can send you a bunch more links. But with the podcast, I do like to keep it a little short when it comes to that. But Martin, before we wrap everything up, when it comes to astrology, this website, it’s a good little website for everybody that just wants to know a little bit more about astrology. It’s called the Horoscope Co. So what happens is once you find your astrology chart, then you can figure out like your sun and Moon sign and if you just Google it, it’s the first website that usually pops up. So this is the Horoscope Co and they give little readings based off of your sun and Moon combination. So as I give you because with this reading there are some positives negatives there’s a perfect partner and advice. So as I give you that, just let me know how you feel. So you’re a Virgo Sun with a Gemini Moon and it says a practical personality, passionate. The Virgo Sun, Gemini Moon personality. Doesn’t care about image issues or about how others perceive certain actions if those come from the soul. Positives for your sun and Moon combination. Brilliant, analytical and perceptive. Negatives. Can get distracted at times. Perfect partner. Someone who will work just as hard as them about their relationship. And word of advice for your sun and Moon combination, they need to be more open to emotional matters. So as I give you you’re little positives negatives, perfect partner and advice, what are some thoughts that come to mind? 2s The trades were really interesting, that this needs to be that. And then I was just asking myself, where is that perfect partner? I’m not alone with asking myself that question. 2s Good. 1s Like I told you, you I have already invested quite some time into that. And the combination feels like 3s the last clause when you talked about when the soul is in it, when that would have missed, I would have said that is not quite correct, because I’m thinking or have been thinking about, like I told you what others think of me a lot. But when it’s a matter of the heart, when it’s something 1s that is speaking from the soul, then I don’t care. Absolutely. And so I think it’s pretty accurate. 2s Yeah. And of course, Martin, just like I mentioned before, if you want to know a little bit more, I can always send you a bunch of links once we are done recording and stuff. And like I said before, it’s just another asset, another little thing to help us really understand ourselves. But Martin, I’ve really enjoyed our podcast today. We really talked about a lot, your journey, relationships and even astrology. Where can everybody check out your work and all the stuff you love to do? Yeah, so Light Trails Co. Light as in dark or light or heavy and Trails as a path. Light trails. Co is my company name and website, both actually, and you can find me there. I’m not too active on social media, but I’m starting to increase that now. And I’m having a webinar that is actually going on where we dive into totem animals, shamanic Journeys and the Medicine Wheel. It’s three different webinars, three different days and people want to just dive in. It’s free. 1s What’s that again? In English? Complimentary. So everybody can just join. Yeah, I’d love to see you. If you have questions about the shamanic journey or totem animals, just send me an email and I’ll answer them. Yeah, of course. Barton. I’ll make sure to put all the links that you mentioned in the show description, so you guys can just click on that message, Martin. And if you want to know more information, Martin will help you out. But Martin, I really enjoyed our conversation today. Thank you for everything and please stay safe. 1s Thank you. 

Summary

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast! In today’s episode, Josh and Michael discuss the challenges men face based on societal norms and standards. Michael King has been a mental therapist for over 20 years specializing in men’s mental health and the father-son relationship. Michael also explains his journey from writing a self-reflection book to even experiencing trauma from his father.  A question for every listener to consider while tuning in is, what are some acceptable things men are taught in society?  You can check out Michael’s Book and Work by clicking on the links below! Like always, guys, please like, rate, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.  Michael’s Book https://tribeofmenthebook.com/ Michael’s Social Media https://www.instagram.com/its_mikeking/ — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

 Hey everybody, and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode talks about Michael King, Jr. Michael is a licensed mental health therapist, author and inspirational speaker. His main focus is to work and help with men win against their own anger and anxiety. Through therapy, he strategizes with you to create a winning recovery action plan. Our podcast, we really get into a lot of topics starting from mental health, Michael’s journey and many more. And you can check out Michael’s book titled Tribe of Men, which is a really good selfreflection book which can really help people, and especially men in particular set goals and put in the beginning emotional work. But you can check out all that work by clicking on the links in the show description. And like always, guys, please like, rate and subscribe to the podcast on Spotify and Apple podcast. Your subscriptions will help boost up podcast overall. Without further ado, here is my conversation with Michael. 

 Hey, everybody, and welcome to your spiritual best friend. I am the host, Josh Sanchez, and I’m here with a very special guest, Michael. Michael, what’s going on, and how are you feeling today? Hey, thank you, Josh, for the inviting an opportunity to be on the podcast. Man, I’m feeling great. Grateful for life, health, and strength. I’m grateful to be here today. Yes, indeed, that’s all we can do. We need to be grateful for just the opportunity. Another day, a new challenge. But I was thinking for our first question, Michael, to really start off this podcast, what do you like to do for work, and what are some passions that you have? Wow. Well, for work, I’m a licensed clinical social worker located in the DMV area that’s DC, Maryland, and Virginia. Specifically, I’m in the state of Maryland, and I work with men on breakup recovery, healthy masculinity, dealing with trauma, depression, anxiety reduction, anger management, some life coaching, some clinical life coaching as well. And, yeah, I’m really grateful to be in the space of mental health. So I’ve been in mental health for 20 years, but for the last year, I’ve actually been in private practice working with wow, 20 years in the mental field. And I just want to give you a shout out as well, because I know in our previous talk, we talked a little bit about getting into private practice. So congratulations for that as well. That’s another step into your journey. That just leaves me right to my next question 20 years in the mental health field. Describe to me your journey from where you started, and I know now that you’re in a private practice, but what really got you into that mental health field and all that stuff 20 years ago? 2s Well, I knew that I wanted to help fathers and sons have really good relationships, right? Because me, myself, I had a tense to loving relationship with my dad. But it took some time. In my years, it was tense, young adult years, it was kind of tense. And 1s we made amends. And before my dad passed, we made amends way before he passed. So having helping fathers and sons develop close relationships, helping families develop close relationships, particularly in the black community, especially, that was the reason why, for getting into mental health. Credit to you, Michael, again, for really trying to help people, especially in the African American community, because I know, especially when it comes to that father son relationship, I know for myself, me and my dad have always had a shaky relationship. It’s always been like that ever since I was little, just that we both knew that we needed to have a conversation. And it was up until we both admitted that we do need to have a conversation and talk that really would help us grow. And now our relationship is a lot better. So as I was hearing you describe your story, I just want to say I empathize with you as well, and credit to you for really focusing in and helping on that father and son dynamic. And that just leads me right to my next question. So I know you’ve been working and especially trying to help out young men as well. Why do you think so many fathers and sons have like a disconnect in their relationships? 1s You know, I think that the parenting is definitely evolving over the course of as we continue to learn and grow and realize what part of parenting, especially when we’re parenting boys, what part can continue to use that helps them develop to be healthy, be able to be expressive emotionally, right? That’s the area that we can need to maybe open up more and allowing boys and dads to develop relationships that help foster self awareness and empathy of others and in development of learning how to express themselves and finding the gifts that they’ve got given them to be able to be a creative one of the things I know is traditionally convoys have been raised to be tough and keep all your emotions inside and be that stoic figure because as a man you need to be tough and hard all the time, right? But then there’s some consequences to that because there are times of guys, as they get older especially 1s not being able to be in tune with their emotions or maybe empathy, right, which then plays out in them being less expressive to others, especially in an intimate relationship or thinking that I need to be a certain way in order to fit into a man box to be called a man. 2s If I have a creative side, maybe I need to put that away so I don’t get teased and so maybe I need to work on what it is being a man in terms of demand box, being tough and hard and getting physically or using emotions or physicality to control or 1s developing my physical muscles. But I think that some of the things that we lose out in helping kids and especially our young boys learn that it’s okay to express themselves. It’s helping them learn how to express their disappointment and verbalize it so that we can help them see that when they have adversity in life they can think through it, they can have emotions of sadness and gladness and joy but they have the whole range of emotions and being open to expressing that especially to their dad or to others is a very helpful tool that will help them learn and grow to continue to be so we can understand that there are some things about raising boys that we need to continue to help them develop because guys need to grow up to be able to defend themselves if they need to but understanding that their thought process and understanding their emotions, being able to express themselves is a great tool as well. 2s Yeah. Michael, I just want to first say being able to express and communicate our emotions is so vital because you’re seeing what’s happening now is as more and more boys are being more aware of their emotions and being able to speak out that emotional intelligence, they’re being able to develop stronger relationships, whether that’s with friends, loved ones, family, like, being able to open up is so vital. And it’s crazy how, especially for me, I know growing up, being a boy as well, it’s as simple as even, let’s say, like we fall and we stub our toe or something 2s because some boys, they are a little more emotional than some and some will cry and the parent is so quick to be like, well, why are you crying? Like, if it was a girl, it’s like we’ll cuddle you. But if it’s a guy, it’s like, stop your quiet crying, like you’re supposed to be tough. And even like a little example like that. Being able to acknowledge our feelings, being able to express our feelings, especially as men, is something that we need to be taught a lot more because like you said, Michael, we’re taught as a society for to man up and to keep it like, you got to provide, you got to be the provider, you got to be able to beat a backbone for everybody and what. That can be hard at times because we all know in life, through certain circumstances and obviously through the systemic issues, the injustices that we see here in the United States, it can put a lot of pressure on our young men to be able to provide. So credit it to you, Michael. Again, I just wanted to highlight very spot on answer when it comes to men’s health. I know you mentioned the term healthy masculinity. Explain that in a little bit to me. 1s So I think healthy masculinity to me is one being able to be in tune with yourself, being okay, understanding is okay to express your emotions, right? And it’s okay even to say, I don’t know. It’s to learn more about yourself and it’s okay to accept things that aren’t like you. What I mean is sometimes guys in the man box, 2s they may be dismissive of another guy who may not have more masculine tendencies or maybe doesn’t have a masculine presence or maybe he doesn’t have a masculine swag. Doesn’t mean that that person is not a man. But it’s just that the fact that they look a little different or maybe handle things different than how usual, how they’ve been, the expectations or the traditional guy may handle it now doesn’t mean that I’m not man batched for one. Let me kind of back up a little bit because 1s when I say 2s healthy masculinity might be using your strength for good, so it might be helping someone cross the street or carrying a package, but it also might be using your talents and gifts to help others. Whether it may be communicating, doing some community service or doing a presentation, giving back to the community in a way. Also whether it may show up in relationships is again, not using emotions or physicality to control a partner or even your kids, giving them room to speak their truth, being a great listener, but also being in tune with your own thoughts and emotions so that you can be able to be verbally expressive. Just not just kind of stoic and tough and not say much, but to be open and honest with yourself, then I will help you be open and honest with those around you. 1s Yeah. Michael, you make a really great point when it comes to being able to understand our emotions and being open to communicating that and giving our children and also whoever we are, we do decide to date the platform as well, for them to also speak out as well. And just to add to your point, even like admitting when you do make mistakes, because that can be something where I know for a lot of men, I know for myself and a lot of my friends that I’ve talked to, we tend to really shut down within ourselves whenever we make a mistake. And it’s hard to communicate people that do shut down because, again, we’re taught to keep everything in. You got to process it yourself. But just adding to the conversation a little bit, I just wanted to highlight that answer. It was really spoton answer. And this leads me right to my next question. So when it comes to advice, because I know now that we’ve addressed being open, and that’s pretty much the solution on what we need to do as men, as a collective, what’s the advice that you would give to a young man or a young boy that’s really just trying to find themselves? Well, understanding that you use a term emotional intelligence earlier. Right. And that’s a great term. And it’s a concept that’s made up of different aspects. I think that’s it when we learn about the different aspects, it can help us grow as a person and individual, whether male or female, black or white or whatever ethnic group or background you come from. But the aspects of emotional intelligence includes self awareness, empathy, strength, reputative, problem solving, emotional regulation and its social skills. 3s In terms of advice I would give someone to be able to be a more verbally expressive is to maybe understand yourself a bit more and develop and nurture the relationship with yourself. Understanding your strength rents understanding your challenges areas and if it’s a path, a plan that you want to pursue and you need some help, being open to asking for help, being open to learning whatever it is the area that you want to learn and grow and develop a skill in. Because I think some of the things about guys and some of the things in the man box, they don’t want to ask for help and they may have a lot of ideas, but thinking that even asking for help is a sign of weakness. But is that really right? If you have a problem and you need support with a solution, it does kind of figure it out on your own. You may tap into a network, you can maybe do some research and then tap into a friend and ask for help or look and study and learn about the skill that you want to develop. So the biggest thing though is starting with yourself, being self aware and being comfortable enough in your skin to know when you need help and being confident enough to ask for it and not being afraid to try and meet new people and learn and grow in different ways that can help you achieve the goal that you want to do. 

 Yeah, like you said, Michael, that self awareness, being able to understand yourself and really just building a strong, confident relationship with yourself is so important, Michael. And just like I said before, but I wanted to do like a little transition a little bit. We talked a lot about just like, men’s mental health and obviously when it comes to masculinity and stuff, and I really appreciate everything that you said so far, but I want to also get your perspective too, because not only are we because I know for myself, I’m also trying to get into the mental health field as well. So not only as men, we are in an industry that is predominantly dominated by women, but for you also, being an African American male in an industry that is predominantly white and women, how has your perspective been overall? Because I know you’ve been doing this for 20 years, being an African American counselor in this field. Yeah, and 2% of the mental health counselors are African American, and even a smaller percentage of those are male African American. And back 20 years ago, when I started it, I really used to have to try to convince guys to try it out. Right. Because it’s pretty taboo in our community to talk to someone else who you don’t know about some situations or problems with your insecurities, your fears, you know what I mean? But over the course of time, it has become more open. The stigma is decreasing in terms of guys are using the services to help get stuff off their chest, to help unpack some of the trauma, help unlearn some of the things that they learned about that maybe had negative impacts on their sense of self, their self esteem, and then their relationships, and then they’ve done the work on them. And I think doubling back, I think that then once you’ve done the work on you as a man, especially, then you’ll be able to demonstrate healthy masculinity too. Right. Kind of knowing and recognizing, showing up how you want to show up in a way that adds value to others around you, in a way that has direction and purpose for your life. And so I think that that’s a part of healthy masculinity as well. And so over the course of time, guys are really opening up about talking about what are some of the barriers and challenging themselves to overcome some of the barriers that they feel like is preventing them from being the best version of themselves. And that can include, especially in guys out of past traumas, that things that they’ve experienced that they never talked about, but has always still kind of stayed with them through their thoughts. And they sometimes get triggered for whether it’s from current relationships, they get triggered by past experiences. 1s So guys are using this space as a form of self care and using counseling as a part of their support system. I wanted to, like, piggyback off your answer a little bit, because, especially when it comes to men, I know you mentioned there’s, like, a lot of just, like, barriers and factors that really prevent a man from asking to get help or even, like, cultural barriers as well. Because I know depending on whatever culture and how you were raised, it’s going to be completely different. I know for me, I know for myself, I’m a mixture of Spanish and white, obviously. So I know when a lot of white culture, especially here in America, people tend to individualize things and view things individually instead of as a collective. And I’m learning a lot more. I’m taking a social justice class in my graduate program, and I really credit to that. But I know for myself, there’s going to be times for myself where I do work with people that are in a different culture. And this leads me right to my next question for you, Mike. I know for you having so much experience, how do you handle let’s say you’ve had a client that is a little bit different culturally. How would you be able to handle that? So that way you guys are able to connect and find and get through the therapeutic processing. Bye. 2s Well, being curious about 2s what the things that I don’t know about that person’s culture and then being open and honest about what I do and then having a conversation with them to help bridge any gaps. But first coming to the session and coming to the table, being culturally competent, trying to have an understanding of 1s the client’s background 1s and then being in a mindset of curious. And 1s I’m a helper at heart and that’s a good clinician and therapists definitely are helpers at heart. And so that should come out especially if someone is looking to you for support 1s in the mental health space in order to help them deal with whatever thoughts or deal with the challenges that life may be presenting to them during this season of life for them. But yeah, being culturally competent I think comes with a lot of empathy, which is being understanding of the others, but then also some curiosity too so that you can continue to make a connection, some heartfelt connections just to add and take your point even further. You know, keeping an open mind like you said, being able to empathize, understand other people’s perspectives and also being curious to learn. I definitely think part of the therapeutic process is to create an environment in which all of your clients are feeling comfortable, they feel safe, they are able to reach out to you and really feel like a safe of like security and stuff like that. So like you said Michael, keeping an open mind, being able to empathize and being curious to learn. Because as a therapist we are also learning from our clients as well. I know a lot of people like to think the client is learning all this, but as a therapist too. So I was just really curious to answer to ask that question and I just wanted to just really highlight that as well. But is there anything else you would like to add to what I just said? 1s Being open and understanding and curiosity can lead the way in order to make a connection with the client that you’re working with. Because there’s a lot of time in the black community sometimes that people are trying to they want to get services. But there are only so many black clinicians. So don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn from a clinician who truly wants to help you. But they may not be of a racing background, but first kind of understanding. But they need to demonstrate an understanding that they are culturally competent, though. So you do have to have I recommend doing a consultation call if you can so you can kind of get a feel for a therapist style, right. And then that feel for that style can let you know if that’s someone you feel comfortable opening up with. And if you feel comfortable, then, yeah, I would say go ahead and schedule a few sessions. It to see how the fit flows. 3s Definitely michael and I definitely like to highlight that as well. Like the consultation meeting is definitely so, so important. You know, it’s like that first impressions when you’re first meeting each other and that really just leads you right to my next question. So I know for you now that you’re in your own private practice. So let’s say you just met a new client. Like, what’s typical, like a first session or a typical session look like for you? So the first session, usually we go through reviewing the client history form, which is some information that the client will fill out prior to the session with a little social emotional background or family background. Also maybe if there’s a mental health background experience, talk about what the strength that the client brings to the table. And then we also talk about what’s the goal we’re working towards, like why is the person in counseling? So then I would assess the strategy of how we would assess and engage and prepare for treatment planning. But the first session is also a review of this client history form and then there may be a screening. 1s A mental health screening can include like a wellbeing screening and maybe an overall life satisfaction screening. And depending on some of the question, how they were answered on the client history form, whether a client will complete like a depression screening or anxiety screening. 2s But other times, the initial session is focused on building a rapport. 1s And over 1s the course of the therapy process, together with me, there’s talk therapy strategies I use. We do some listening, but there’s also selfawareness exercises and activities and positive psychology exercises and activities that can focus on building resilience, developing a stress management plan, 1s dealing with trauma and recovery from trauma anxiety reduction. So there’s exercises, there’s talk therapy 2s in my space, my therapeutic space, some narrative therapy as well, right? Some storytelling and to pull lessons learned. 2s Also, I use a solutions focused brief therapy approach as well as cognitive behavioral style. Because with cognitive behavioral, you look at thoughts, right? Because thoughts impact our emotions and thoughts impact our behaviors, right? Before we do something, we think about it and our thoughts, how we feel, how we see about our sense of self. 2s So, yeah, we do a lot of some analyzing of thoughts and also some cognitive reframing. Trying to get the root of some thoughts that may have a person feel like self limited thoughts. 1s Sometimes those can creep in and cause the person not to feel like their best selves. 2s Analyzing, trying to do some reframing of some thinking in terms of the cognitive reframing to help a person learn strategies and tools be their best self. 1s There’s a lot of tools there. There’s a lot of just like different practices in different forms and all that stuff too. Like, I can really see and feel the passion. Like when you do have clients and you want to help them at the end of the day. And I just want you guys, for all the podcast listeners, that there is so many different types of therapies and resources available. So credit to Michael and there’s so many others as well that continue to really just try and help people. So there’s a lot of resources that we can get to so that are at our disposal. We just need to be more aware of them. So credit to you, Michael, for just dishing out so much, and I really appreciate that, but just transitioning a little bit. I know we talked a lot about men’s mental health. We talked a lot about what it’s like from your perspective, like, working with clients and even like, different clients as well that are in different cultures and stuff. And I really appreciate all of our conversations so far. Just transitioning a little bit. I know from a little side topic, I know you’re in the process of writing a book, right? How has that journey been for you? Well, yeah, the book journey is man, 1s it’s been exhausting. It’s been fulfilling, it’s been annoying. 2s The overall is lovely. The book is actually published now and it took me about a year and a half of working on it, working with editors and yeah, so the name of the book is called Tribe of Men understanding how to Evolve Your Masculinity, Find Your Community, and Reach Your Potential. And it’s available on Amazon. And basically it’s a personal development tool. If you want tips, you want to know how to manage stress, 2s manage emotions, you’re looking at a tool that can help you if you’re dealing with trauma. I wrote it for the fact for some guys who may still be on the fence about therapy and talking to a counselor, this book is a tool that a personal development tool that can start to prep you and you can start to work on areas of yourself. 1s And if you go through the book, it’s a short and powerful read with some exercises. And if you think that, hey, I may want to enhance my emotional intelligence even more by maybe establishing a relationship with a counselor or therapist, then that would be great as well. But this book talks about personal development, talks about the name of the first chapter is Men Need Selfcare Too, because I think a lot of times because we get caught in protecting and providing and holding our emotions inside, kind of keep our nose to the grind and keep grinding, that we don’t realize that kings need support too, so that they can continue to be a great king for their kingdom. And this book opens up some topics that can help build resiliency if someone’s been dealing with trauma or even insecurities. This book can help you develop some tools that can maybe work for you, that can help you feel like the best version of you again, to be able to confront maybe some toxic mindsets that you may have developed as a result of being in the man box and unlearn some things that you learn so you can replenish yourself with tools that can help nurture healthy relationships, that can help your mental illness and even evolve as a leader. 3s Yeah. Wow. Mike, I will say, when it comes to the book, I’ll make sure to put your whole book and stuff. I’ll put the Amazon link in the show description so that you guys can check out Michael’s work as well. And it’s important, I notice it’s a very important point point that I wanted to add before we talk about relationships and stuff in astrology and stuff like that, too. 1s Because I know as a man and as the male community, a lot of us are hesitant to go to therapy. So to have a book, to really just 1s have another platform where people can really reflect and learn a little bit more about themselves. So that way, if they’re really into that, okay, now I can message Mike or I can find another therapist, you know, where I can really take that next step and get even more help. So I think books and stuff are great first resource for anybody that is on the fence with trying to work out to therapy, because it’s hard, it’s really hard to put your trust and to really open up to others. So I just wanted to highlight that point as well. Michael, so power to you for creating that book. Yeah, thanks, man. And it’s a tools. You don’t have to go through it from page one to the end, but you can read a chapter because each chapter can stand on its own. So, chapter one is Men Need Self Care, two is Building Solid Relationships, three is Mental Illness, and four is Dealing With Trauma. So when you look at the table of contents, you’ll see titles like Healing Through Self Examination, finding Your Purpose, the Art of Self Motivation, evolving Your Masculinity, and Leadership Through Service. So if a chapter pick speaks to you, you can just go there first. Definitely. And I’ll make sure, again, to put the link in the show description so that way you guys can check it out and all that fun stuff. 

 But, Michael, let’s transition a little bit as well. So we talked about your book. We talked a lot about your journey when it comes to relationships. I know we talked a lot about, like, men and being in a relationship as well. And when it comes to, like, keeping their emotions in a box and how that spills and all that stuff for relationships. For you, Michael, what are some qualities, some good, solid qualities that you look for, whether that’s friendships, romantic partners, what are some good core qualities to have? 2s Well, definitely someone that you can trust their word, right? Someone that’s effective, communicator. But first, you have to know yourself, right? Before any other relationship, even the intimate relationship or business relationship, you know your strength and know your value, what you bring to the table. Know your challenging areas as well and be able to be comfortable in your own skin. So when you’re able to engage others, you can be your authentic self, right? And then they can get to know you and your authentic self. And if it’s in an intimate relationship, you can be your authentic self, and then they can be their authentic self. Then you guys can better build and grow together. So being able to. 2s I guess, obviously get back to that was saying of know thyself. And so that’s the first thing I would say before you get into, like, intimate relationships. Right. 1s Part of the goal of reason One to work with guys and men, too, is like right. I work with a lot of guys who are married, and I work with a lot of guys who aren’t married yet, and so I encourage them to work on themselves so they can be relationship ready. That might be my next book, Relationship Ready Man. 2s Because there are tools and things we need to know about ourselves. Right. So quick little backstory. I’ve been married once, 18 years, and I’m divorced, but I have a great relationship with my ex wife. We co parent. Well, I have a 17 year old daughter and a 13 year old son, and we co parent really? Well, I realized when I got married at 25, was engaged. 27. I think I was married, but it was a little while ago. Right, but marriage has a way of bringing out Margaret. Personality challenges or things that you may not even know about yourself. So I found through my experience, 1s I was mature. I was definitely I was educated. But marriage has a way of bringing out out some things that you may not have known, some areas of growth that you needed. So I found it really hard to continue to mature as a man when you already have responsibilities of kids and being married and having a partner and developing an intimate relationship. 2s So what I bring to the table and I realized and I learned that knowing thyself is probably the key to developing healthy relationships with others, right? So then you can understand chemistry and then compatibility, even in business or intimate relationships, that they need good levels of chemistry for creative, creative ideas in a business setting or chemistry to keep a physical intimacy, closeness in an emotional intimacy, closeness in an intimate romantic relationship. And then compatibility, right? Personality compatibility, common interests, activities and things we like to do, maybe a sense of purpose in pursuing goals, that type of compatibility, 2s I think. But you got to know yourself first before you 1s sometimes we get attached with people that we may not be aligned with, right? But we create these romantic relationships and we attach or we create business relationships. We get attached. But then over time, you realize, well, our alignment may be a little bit off, but the better you know yourself and then. 2s Be able to be your authentic self, then I think that will lead to you being able to recognize and giving other people, giving them the comfort to be their authentic selves around you. And those, I think, to me, is one of the key foundations to have a successful, healthy relationship. Yeah. Just to even take it, like, a step further. Once you understand what we mean by really understanding ourselves, is just like realizing the things that we like, the things that we don’t like. Boundary setting, that’s definitely something that, in my relationships, I’ve really had to learn, because for me, I never really was taught boundaries. We kind of just did what we needed to do for the family, and that was it. And it spilled into my relationships. I just wanted to add even more to that, Michael. Like, boundary setting, these are all things to really help us understand ourselves and even credit to you as well, because it definitely takes a lot for us to be open and to share our perspectives. I really like your quote about marriage. Marriage. It definitely brings out some of the things in ourselves that we didn’t really realize, and it’s important for us to learn from that and grow from that. So power to you, Michael, for being open to share, because I know that’s definitely a very hard stuff to do for a lot of people, and hopefully people that are listening to our conversation, having me and you, Michael, both being able to open up and share our perspective so that you guys that are listening can be able to open up as well to whatever relationships you’re in, whether that’s business, professional, girlfriend, whoever you date. It’s important for us to be open and admit that I had to learn a lot here, and then we grow. That’s how we take the next step. So I just wanted to highlight that. Yeah, man. And I think it’s also too great to be compassionate with ourselves, too, because sometimes, as we learn and grow, we recognize, in the past, I showed up, like, maybe a little bit narcissistic, a little bit over aggressive at times, but being accepting and compassionate yourself, how you showed up, so you don’t let guilt or shame kind of take over, but so you can then be in the present and realize, okay, all right, now I know how I showed up in the past. I know how I want to show up in the future. So let me work on myself now and here and now in the present so that I can continue to be the best version of myself. 1s But self compassion is a big thing. Like, sometimes guys know we can’t get hard on ourself, kind of beat ourselves up. Damn, why I do that? Why? I wish I could. But we can give ourselves some self compassion. 2s That’s a big key to learning and growing. Definitely, Michael. And there’s like a famous saying, I’m not going to quote it word for word, but we all make mistakes, but it’s like how we learn from those mistakes is what matters, matters and building that compassion to that as well. Because again, it’s that strong sense of relationship with yourself. If you have a strong relationship with yourself and have that strong foundation, like you said a lot of times in the podcast, like them, we’re able to really grow and be open because we have that confidence in ourselves. We don’t have shame or guilt or the mistakes we have in the past because we’re learning, we love ourselves and we’re growing. But Michael, I just really wanted to first say I appreciate everything that we’ve talked about so far. We’re going to wrap everything up when it comes to astrology a little bit. I know in our previous conversation you definitely are very curious with it, but I just wanted to ask you the first question. When it comes to astrology, how do you feel about it overall and what’s going on with it? No, I know very little about it, but I do understand that some of the personality, I think there’s some things about personality trace and I think that 1s what I know it’s been around for eons and I think that there are some things in terms of personality that 2s some things that I find very interesting, like the commonalities, the zodiac signs and the Persian personality. So I’m definitely finding really curious about it. But we don’t have that much knowledge about it, though. Yes, when it comes to the podcast, it can get real deep real fast. But I like to keep it on just like a simple level because obviously your son signed when people ask you what’s your sign, that’s who you are to your core. Your Moon sign is how you process things emotionally. And for you, Michael, I’m just going to stick it with the first two because we have talked about a lot in this podcast and it’s been a lot of fun. But this website is called the Horoscope Co. So it’s a website where if you’re ever curious to know just a little bit more once you find your chart, this is just a sun and Moon sign chart. So a bunch of people, they teamed up based off of whatever your sun sign and your Moon sign are, they do a little reading based off of that. So it is about to get a little real here, Michael, I will say 1s because there’s positives negatives and there’s some advice, so it gets real real. But for you, Michael, you are a Leo Sun with a Scorpio Moon and it says a temperamental personality instinctive. The Leo Sun Scorpio Moon personality relies more on the heart than on the mind. Positives for your sun and Moon combination, optimistic, ambitious and instinctive. Negatives can be stubborn at times and impatient. 2s Perfect partner, someone who will share with them their deepest and darkest secrets. Word of advice, they should be a little bit more cerebral when it comes to work. So, as I give you positive, negatives, perfect partner and advice, what are some thoughts that come to in mind? 3s Some of the things you said about the impatience or being a guy like heartfelt. 2s Yes, I’ve always felt that about myself. And I’m working on impatience, especially in relationships. Yes, Michael, as well. We all have things that we have to work on, because, again, that’s how we grow. We’re human. So I like to view astrology. It’s just another tool in the toolbox to really help us understand ourselves at the end of the day. And I know you’ve mentioned already so many other forms of therapy. There’s so many resources that’s my point. That are at our disposal that we need to be more aware of. But Michael, I’ve really appreciated our full conversation today. Working, everybody. Check out your work and all have fun stuff. Well, I have a website for my practice. It’s called 1s Mindfulactionsllc. And then my website is www. Dot mindful actions. 2s Llc.com, right. And so I’m also on Instagram and Tik tok and for those who want to learn from more 1s learn more wellness tips, see more information from me there. You can reaching my tag handle is Mike King. So it’s Ipscore Mike King. And that’s on Instagram and that’s on TikTok. Yeah. So those are places like the post wellness Tips. And just to share whether it’s talks that I’m doing a podcast and share some content about wellness and men’s mental health. Yes. And just like I mentioned before, what your book earlier in the podcast? I’ll make sure to put all those links in the show description so that way you guys can check out all of Michael’s work and all that fun stuff. But, Michael, I really appreciate your time and everything that you’ve said, the insight, and I really appreciate it. Thank you. Hey, thank you, Jim. Josh. And you keep up the great work you’re doing. Shout out to all your listeners and yes man, you enjoy the rest of this beautiful day. Yes, you too, Michael. And please stay safe. Thanks. You too, Josh. Bye. 

Summary

Hey Everyone, and welcome back to the podcast! In today’s episode, Podcaster, Author, and Psychotherapist/Psychoastrologer Lisa Tahir share her journey and insight about connecting astrology and psychotherapy. The topics Lisa and I cover to start from her trip to discussing the Chiron in each of our charts. We also get into relationships and how we can connect astrology to help understand ourselves. 

You can check out Lisa’s book and all her work by clicking on the links below! Also, to all of the lovely listeners, if you are interested in booking a session with Lisa, you can get your first session half off by mentioning the podcast! 

Like always, guys, please like, rate, and subscribe to the podcast. Your ratings will help boost the podcast overall! 

Lisa’s Book: The Chiron Effect

Lisa’s Website

https://www.nolatherapy.com/ — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

 Hey, everybody, and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode talks about the story of Lisa Tahir. Lisa is a licensed clinical social worker and has had a passion for helping people ever since she was five years old. The topic that we’re going to cover in our podcast today range from psycho, astrology to spirituality, emotional help, and even relationships. You can check out all of Lisa’s work as she’s a host of a podcast and also a creator of the book titled The Kyron Effect, which connects astrology and psychology to really help understand our deep rooted trauma. You can check out all of Lisa’s work by clicking on the links in the show description. And to all my listeners, if you guys want to work with Lisa, you guys can get half off your first session. All you have to do is mention the podcast, your Spiritual Best Friend to Lisa. But without further ado, here is my podcast with Lisa. 2s Hey, everybody, and welcome to Your Spiritual Best Friend. I am your host, Josh Sanchez, and I’m here with a very special guest. Lisa, how are you doing today? And what’s going on, Josh? I’m doing awesome because I’m starting my day with you on your show, your Spiritual Best Friend. Thank you for having me. Of course. And just like I said before, we record. And so thank you for reaching out and wanting to be a guest on this podcast. And that leads me right to my first question. Lisa, so for you, I know when it comes to I’ve been doing a lot of research on the work you doing stuff you do a lot of work. Where did that passion for psychoastrology and all that stuff really stem from for you? Thank you, Josh. I believe it stems from ever since I was young, I’ve been just so curious about everything and interested and just like, love going down rabbit holes of different topics that interest me and. 2s I knew I wanted to be a therapist of some sort ever since I was five. And my parents found a note I had scribbled that said, I want to be a psychiatrist. And in some ways, that’s, like, kind of cute and funny, but in another way, it’s a little concerning. Why would a five year old want to be a psychiatrist or even know about that? And I knew it related to I grew up in a family where there was a lot of dysfunction, and though I didn’t know that was the case, being so young, just certain things didn’t feel good. And I grew up they were definitely wonderful happy moments, but they were also really challenging ones that challenged my emotions and just my kind of development. And I started therapy as a young person at 21, and when I went into therapy, I knew, this is what I want to do with my life, is help other people make sense of their experiences. Because your inner guidance system, your emotions tell you when something’s wrong, even if adults around you are saying it’s right. And there’s one thing I wish I would have known younger is, like to trust that inner guidance system, regardless of what other people are saying with their words. Because often people who aren’t in alignment, they might act one way and say another thing, but you can always perceive and pick up on that, regardless of how young you are. And that really drove my journey into the healing arts and wanting to help myself and others to grow and change and transform. 2s Wow. Lisa and I will say from someone that is also experienced a lot of, like, family trauma and growing up in a very stressful environment, i, too, also have a very similar journey and a similar passion as well to help people. I’m currently just to share a little bit, I’m currently in graduate school trying to become a mental health counselor. So to hear your insight and stuff, even from a young age, like you said, we all have that inner voice or that intuition, that feeling that’s telling us, hey, something is going on here. Despite what our parents are telling us or our caretakers are telling us, we know deep down that there’s something going on. And like you said, Lisa, it’s definitely especially being young, like, we listen to our adults, we kind of push them aside, but we should really tap into that feeling. And that just leaves me right to my next question. Lisa, I know growing up and stuff, I know you grew up in a very just stressful environment and stuff. Why do you think I know you mentioned a little bit on your lasts answer, but, like, why do you really think, like, as children, we kind of push that feeling aside? 2s First of all, I want to say I think it’s awesome you’re in graduate school. Congratulations on you being a mental health professional and counselor. It’s like, awesome. So I’m excited you’re doing that for yourself, too. 1s Thank you. Thank you. You’re welcome. And why I think we push that inner knowing aside because we’re young and we don’t have the power that we do as an adult and we do depend on our caretakers to guide us. And I think in every child, it’s like an innate trust of the adults around us that they are given to take care of us and lead us and protect us. And for some people, that happens really seamlessly and really well. And I think it’s wonderful that they are. And I think nowadays, more conscious parents, more aware parents, that because of what they grew up with, they want to do it differently than, you know, other parents. And so, yes to you who are reaching out and going to therapy, and there’s so much available now, more easily, I think, than in years past. And I think it’s just centered in children trust, those who are older around. And it’s scary when you’re young and you know something’s wrong and who do you turn to? So there might not be a lot of options. So definitely a teacher to speak out to. 1s Kids are also so resilient that children have a deep capacity to heal and change, I think, even more quickly. That’s what resilience is, to bounce back than even older people. So does that answer the question? Yeah, definitely. Lisa, it’s spot on. As I was just hearing your answer, I was just like, nodding in agreement because I was just like, yeah, it definitely makes sense. I really like your term resiliency as well. And for children that do experience a lot of just like, intense and stressful environments growing up, they do have more of the capability to be resilient, which is to bounce back and to overcome adversity and to understand where you’re coming from to really grow as a person and take that next step. There’s a lot of resilience stories that we hear a lot of and stuff. So as I was hearing your answer, Lisa, I was like, yeah, this definitely makes a lot of sense. But just continuing our conversation, sticking to the mental health field and stuff. You’ve been in the mental health industry for quite some time now. How have you seen it evolve since the time you started to where you are now? 1s Oh, that’s a great question, Josh. I’ve been in the mental health field since 1996, when I started graduate school to get my Masters in Social Work. And here we are in 2022, and what I’ve seen is a real 1s awesome, just incorporation of more spirituality, of more mindfulness based practices of meditation and really how tapping into what we believe about the things we can’t see or feel, but guide and direct our lives, which is what I consider to be aspects of spirituality. Like, what do you believe? And I’ve started to ask clients, you know, and I did it when I was younger, but there wasn’t a lot of others encouraging that, hey, what do you believe about God? And sometimes a client would kind of look at me like, I didn’t expect that. And I’m like, however you define whatever is greater than you. Like, do you believe something’s greater than you? And, you know, oftentimes people didn’t, especially when bad things have happened to them. Like, it really affected their belief in a loving being. A loving. 1s Presence to guide them. Because if that was so, why did all these bad things happen? I think that’s been the age old question, you know, and to me it’s the reconciliation in that is that there is a loving presence, but it’s people, people that choose to connect to that presence or not. And unfortunately, some caretakers choose not to be in touch with their own healing and that loving presence and guidance and that wounded people wound others. And that’s where abuse and trauma comes from. Wounded people who aren’t getting the aid and assistance and help and treatment they need. So they just do the same things inflict the same kinds of pain. And that’s who’s ended up in my office a lot of the time. And so besides reworking how to trust yourself, how to trust others, how to also believe in a presence that is loving available to you, to really open up your spirituality and develop it for the first time, or go back to what you believed was true at a younger age, and I also believe meditation is a powerful tool to find inner peace and every morning to align with that. I’ll just pause there, Josh, and see, what are you thinking about this? Oh yeah, Lisa, as I was really thinking, I just wanted to ask, you said a really powerful quote and I definitely think that’s going to be the quote of the podcast. Like you said, wounded people wound others. And I know for you, like being in the mental health field and also power to you for going to grad school, I know it’s definitely a lot of work. So power to you for also getting into this profession as well. But yes, at least once I heard that statement, I was like, yeah, that’s something that really hit home. Wounded people really do wound others. And I know for you, like, you’ve had a lot of experience working with people and trying to help them refine themselves and regain themselves. And that just leaves me right to my next question. I was really thinking about what’s the advice or what’s the first steps? So let’s say you are a wounded person that has some like, obviously we all need to find our spiritual selves and we really need to find ourselves. What’s the first steps for them to take to really help them grow and grow as a person and really understand themselves? 2s I think the first step is what you were just saying is the recognition that, hey, like, I have some work to do on myself, like I have some areas to clean up, to learn, to grow in. I know when I was 20, I just knew coming out of the family that I came out of, I didn’t have all of the skills, you know, to be the most healthy adult. And I didn’t want to repeat some of the patterns 1s in my family that I experienced. And so I started therapy to learn, really how to love and care about myself more. Because when you do that, you’re going to have a greater capacity to love and care for others. And it’s through taking personal responsibility. Once you realize 2s there’s some shit here that needs to be cleared and cleaned up, it’s my responsibility to do it. And so for me, personal responsibility is really a big thing. I talk about it in my book that you mentioned, the Chiron effect, healing our core wounds through astrology, empathy and self forgiveness, that those are things you’ve experienced, especially the bad things, the traumatic things, the things around abuse and such weren’t your fault. It is still your responsibility to address those issues, those experience, those wounds, those vulnerabilities, and to heal. And I believe it’s through having self empathy and compassion for what you didn’t know at the time, for instance, and getting those skills and such now. And it’s a process. I’ve been in and out of therapy for over 25 years. And so it might not be that for everyone, but for me, as a mental health professional, it’s been important to be in my own process, because when you work with the pain of others, it’s important to have an outlet to go speak about those things and work through what clients might bring up for you, for me, that’s been just really important to have integrity and beyond that healing journey and such like that. But for anyone listening who was on the edge of the spectrum, because one is more on the side where you’ve been victimized and experienced trauma, and the other end of the spectrum is you’re the perpetrator of those traumas. And I think the past looks similar to the work is different and the recognition of the things that need to be healed within you and then having the courage to reach out to a professional and start that journey. 

I know you mentioned in your previous answer about your Bill book. I know every book. I love authors that come on this podcast because I know every book has a story behind it or like a passion behind it. What led you to create your book? The Chiron Effect? Sure. Josh I felt like it was just the next step. I had always wanted to write a book, and there’s so many notes that I had scribbled down about all kinds of topics. But somehow this Chiron thing, chiron came up for me in meditation about at this point now, it was maybe six years ago, and I kind of heard that in meditation and didn’t really know what that was about. And I started googling Chiron and honestly wasn’t very impressed. Like, it talked about Chiron being both a minor planet and a comet in the solar system discovered by astronomy, it has an odd elliptical orbit, which made it noteworthy in astronomy, orbiting between the planets of Saturn and Uranus. I was like, Okay, cool. And then in Greek mythology, Chiron is the founding father of the healing arts. He was a centaur, half man, half horse, and he was shot by an arrow meant for Hercules and was put in touch with the pain of human frailty being in a body and beg Zeus to trade his life for immortality. And I was like, Okay, cool story. And then in astrology, it talks about Chiron being a planet, just like, you know, you might know your sun sign, you might know your rising sign, you might know your moon. Chiron is also like that. There’s a sign in Chiron like Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio, based on your. 1s Day of birth and your date of birth and your time of birth. And so I started to do a little research into that just as the universe might kind of prod you into a direction and kind of like keep bringing it up in different ways over and over and over again until you finally get it and start to act on that inspiration, act on what’s being shown to you. And it led me to write my book over two and a half, three years, incorporating astrology as the diagnostic point to find out based on your date of birth where chiron is in your chart and then based upon principles of psychology, spirituality and that taking responsibility piece what that means for you. And chiron reveals a meaning in every sign. For instance, if your chiron is in Aries, it reveals an area of vulnerability up to and including a core wounding and your sense of your value and worth. And that plays out like you might be successful outwardly people might think you’re just a bomb, like you have it all together and in so many ways you actually do. But inside of yourself, privately, your self esteem, you feel like you’re never good enough and so you’re on this wheel of performance you have to keep achieving. And you see this with a lot of CEOs that end up killing themselves that like they are rich, they have everything you think that would make a person happy in life, but inside they’re not. And it’s because it’s about developing the ability to value yourself, your own worthiness, which isn’t based on your performance, it’s just based on who you are and how loved you are in that spiritual sense. And again, Kyron and Taurus reflects a core wounding or vulnerability by neglect. This is where you might have experienced sexual abuse or trauma in your past and so on, like chiron. And the signs reveal an area of vulnerability or wounding that you’ve experienced. And I give practical takeaway steps that you can start using to heal as well as affirmations and it’s kind of like a selfhelp. I walk you through some of what I experienced and have healed from in my life. There’s journal prompts so it’s a real good starting place to get you in that process and get into your awareness, what area you might need to focus your healing on 1s to just become happier in your life. 2s Wow. Lisa and as I was hearing your answer, I was like, man, I want to know what my Kyron sign is because I know when it comes to astrology, because I do like to connect a little astrology aspect into the podcast as well. And I usually just have guests. It’s like we’ll just talk about what’s your sun sign and stuff, but I definitely think it’s really cool when it comes to this chiron effect. And like, this chiron part of your charts. Like you said, it’s that power of self worth. But my next question, just like, when it comes to how can we find our own chiron parts in our chart? Sure. 1s Well, in my book, there’s both a chart and there’s an interactive website where you can enter your date of birth and your place of birth. If you have your time of birth, you can put that in, but it’s not necessary to generate your chiron placement. Your time of birth gives you the house that Kyron is in, the one of twelve astrological houses which reveals the area of your life that this vulnerability or wounding manifests. Meaning? Like, is it in the workplace versus in your intimate relationships, or is it in your self esteem? But once you know your chiron sign, you’ll just know where it is that this is presented in your life. Like, that won’t be a mystery. Josh I’ll see if I can find it quickly. What is your month and year of birth? 2s Oh, yeah, I’m down for this is cool. But yes, my month I was born in May. OK. My birthday is May 15, and then my year was 1998. Okay, let me see if you want to just talk about something. I have to look at this part of my book. 1s No, it’s all good. This is great. I really think, Lisa, again, like, you really bring a lot of great insight into this. And it’s really cool to connect with somebody else that is also into, obviously, the mental health field, but also into that astrology aspect too. And the fact that you have a whole book created about all this stuff is great. And it’s really cool to hear. As you’re describing, I was like, Wow, this is really cool. I’m really fascinated by this. A credit to you, again, for doing that. 3s It’s showing here that your chiron would be in the sign of scorpio, which has to do with the core wounding or vulnerability in the experience. 2s Expression of power, meaning that 1s you might have been bullied as a younger person, as a child or by a sibling, you know, experience power being 1s versus aligned power. And I know you spoke about some trauma in your background, so that would definitely be a misuse of power by caretakers in your life who are supposed to say protect 2s versus hurt you. And the key to healing this pattern is in progressively trusting your ability to be vulnerable and feel safe, because sometimes that might have felt scary for you to be vulnerable, to really let your inner self show for fear of being rejected or hurt by others. Is any of this feeling true to you? Oh, yeah, definitely. 2s My last podcast, actually. It’s actually crazy, Lisa, how the universe works sometimes. But in my last podcast, I talked about really the power of self reflection. And for me, I recognize during times of high stress and stuff, I do tend to very, like, suppress everything. I’ll isolate myself. It’s that vulnerability part. It’s that fear of being vulnerable, and then obviously the person taking that vulnerability to a negative way or a positive fear of that. So for me, when I’m very stressed or a lot of stuff’s going on, I tend to self isolate myself and really keep it within myself. So as I was hearing you described that, I was like, yeah, it’s that fear of being vulnerable. I can definitely relate to that. So I think it’s spot on. I had a feeling it was going to be, but even now it’s like another level. I’m like dad. And I think for you, it’s really about because it’s like that little one inside of you, that younger self that is fearful of. If you’re vulnerable when I’m overwhelmed and stressed versus, like even if you identify one trusted person in your life and ask them, hey, I usually isolate when I’m overwhelmed and stressed, would it be okay if I come to you to start practicing how to be a bit more open? Because that’s really what your inner self wants, is to be able to be open and seen and heard in that place of being stressed and overwhelmed and have it be safe. So maybe you can consider 1s identifying someone in your lifetime, practice that with. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I definitely think that’s something that I have, especially recently, I have, like, open up to do that. And I will say, yeah, I have been feeling a lot better when it comes to that, Lisa, and it’s really crazy. It’s crazy how accurate astrology in general is. But even like this aspect of it, the chiron, that’s really cool if you’re willing to share with yourself what is your own chiron as well. Sure. My chiron is in the sign of Aries, which speaks to that vulnerability and wounding in one sense of value and worth. And that really struck a chord with me because I’ve been that person believing that it’s through achievement that I’m going to feel worthy, I’m going to feel enough. And also this placement has to do with overcoming performance based love. And I grew up in a family where it’s like versus love being freely given. You had to do a lot of shit to get it. And so it establishes pattern within me of kind of overworking or not kind of definitely overworking, over giving over everything to the point of exhaustion to try to source some love, try to source some approval. And I realize now it’s just because my parents didn’t know how to do that for themselves, so how could they do that for me if they never felt good enough, they never felt worthy or loved? And so now I can just kind of let it all be like writing a book was something really important to me and I’m so glad that I’ve done it. I’m sure at some point there’ll be another book, but I don’t feel rushed to do it. And the old me would have felt like, oh my gosh, you need to start writing your second book for that again, that achievement based gratification or praise. And instead it’s like, I just want to really work out the one that I wrote and do interviews like this and just really enjoy what I’ve created. And so that’s key and healing the chiron in Aries is really enjoy what you’ve already created and 1s languish in it and just have more peace and fun and freedom and just like, I’m good enough as I am. 2s I want to first say thank you for being open to share. I know, like, when it comes to this particular parts in our chart, like deep wounded healing for a lot of people, it can be very it can be a challenge to really open up for that. So I just want to say firstly, thank you. Thank you, Lisa, for being so open and to share your own story and whatever you and all the stuff that you experience within yourself. Because it’s important for us to open up and be vulnerable as well, so that way we can have really great conversations like these as well. So I just want to say again, power to you, Lisa, for being able to open up and share. I appreciate that. 2s You’re welcome. Josh and I talk in my book about it’s really about being like a witness to the people you’re close to, a witness to their experience and then them witnessing you in not only just the good, but even the hard and challenging moments. It’s like it gives permission to share what you’ve overcome or what you’re working to overcome or what you still don’t understand and like to just model authenticity. And I think it helps everybody just kind of feel like they can really be themselves, which is what we all most deeply want. Yes, indeed. We all want to really be like our real, 1s just happy selves at the end of the day, I know there’s just to add to our conversation. I feel like as we get older, I’ve realized this through just talking to my friends and also doing podcasts with a lot of people. I definitely feel like because of work and the pressures that we have, especially in the United States, because our society values so much on productivity and material things that we tend to lose, like our inner child, things that make us happy. I just realized as we get older, we do lose that and it’s important for us to regain what is making us happy. So I just wanted to highlight that as well because I was like, wow, this is really cool. 2s Yes, totally all about that, I think every day, and if not every day, every week, to do something that feels like play to you, even if it’s like just take a walk around your neighborhood or in a local park, like to let yourself or go get an ice cream or do something that puts you in touch with that younger inner child that part of you that if you look at a child, if you look at a kitten or a puppy, they’re just all about pleasure and play and to let yourself do that in whatever way that’s you would really like, and it’s going to help your life, it’s going to help you be more productive to allow that play. 

 Relationships, they are important. Like, we learn a lot through the peers that we interact with, and we all feed off of each other’s energy. And this leads me right to my first question. So for you, Lisa, what are some qualities that you really look for in your front and a friendship and even a romantic partner? Sure, it would definitely 1s be like kindness. Most basically just you can kind of tell when you meet a person and you start spending some time with them, where’s their heart at, like, where’s their heart centered? And do they have an open heart, a closed heart, or whatever degree on that spectrum? Because I think at times we’ve all closed our hearts a bit, depending on what’s happened, but are they able to open it again? And I think I allow just my innate inner guidance system. Like, you’re drawn to people, you want to be close to them, and other people, you feel kind of like 1s a bit of distance. You might even feel repelled, like a magnet, so to speak. And so I kind of let that sense that I have, like, draw me to people and also push me away from people. And it’s wonderful when the other person is on the same vibe as you, because it really is about vibration, and you attract each other, be it friendship or romantically. And then it can be a little ouch when you’re drawn to someone and they’re not drawn to you or vice versa. In those situations, I practice in meditation, just sending love to that person, sending love to the situation, because it could be some things that just need to be worked out within them or you and you reconnect at another time. So I think just trust when you feel drawn to someone, explore it, and if you feel not drawn to someone or pushed away, to really honor that as well. Yeah, it’s sort of just like as I was hearing your answer, Lisa, just trusting that intuition, that inner feeling that you have with yourself, like, hey, is this person this energy, this person bringing, is this something that I’m vibing with? Is this something that I’m not vibing with? So really, just trusting yourself and your intuition. I was hearing that. I just wanted to highlight that, but just continuing. Lisa, I know being in the mental field, I know you’ve worked with a lot of people, and I definitely think a lot of clients have definitely probably mentioned a lot of relationship troubles. And this leads right to my next question. Why do you think a lot of relationships tend to fail or tend to just, like, drift apart? What do you think is, like, one of the root causes towards that? 1s You know, I think that we’re such complex beings individually and then you pair that with another complex being and you know, some things naturally go well and others like kind of butt up against each other and have some friction there in like a sense that feels negative or is negative. And I think it’s in how you handle those areas and topics that don’t work so well to be able to speak about them and be heard and then just listen. And defensiveness, I think, can be something that blocks intimacy that depending on how someone approaches you with something, first of all, could cause you to get defensive on the spot and 5s put like a wall up and it becomes hard then to really meet there. And so encouraging communication that can be like, hey, I have an issue with something, I’d like to talk about it. Is this a good time? If not when? And to be as honest as you can and try to be open in the presence of that person speaking their truth. And it might take a minute. It might be like, hey, I need to think about this and get back with you about it, because I am feeling defensive, I am feeling judged. I’m feeling like you’re totally not getting me and you might want to come back to it, or it might be in the moment. Hey, yes, some of that fits for me here’s. What that’s about? I’m sorry. Or no, that doesn’t. And cause usually things that are issues or combination of both people, like you might be triggered because you had a caretaker that for instance never really. 2s Saw you or heard you, and you feel frustrated. So when your partner is, like, not seeing the good things you’re doing, what you’re contributing, you might feel that same sense of being unseen. So I think to try to have compassion, you know, I read it right in my book as well, that knowing each other’s chiron placement can help because that’s where these patterns are sourced from. And if you can know your partner’s chiron is sourced in this pattern of, say, being neglected, then you can know that the issues you’re going to have my source around neglect and how can you better address that with each other? So I think it’s really being open and like a student of each other, like, really wanting to learn each other and how you tick with some compassion and trying to see each other as allies and friends versus the enemy, that that can help kind of just smooth out. So it’s not a battlefield. It’s more of, like this container of growth and change, because in relationships, we can grow so much and become more of who we came here to be. What do you think about this topic, Josh? 1s Lisa, just adding to the conversation, I definitely think a lot of the reason why a lot of relationships fail somewhere to how like, you feel like it comes down to like are we doing enough internal work within ourselves before we even are going going into the relationship too, because sometimes we project things and project what we are experiencing on to our partners as well. So it’s just like, are we doing that inner work and 1s are we doing that or are we projecting that onto our partner? I think that’s an important question that we need to ask ourselves in our relationship. So yeah, just to add, that’s the only point I really wanted to add because I think everything else Lisa, you said has been really spot on. And 1s it’s important because we’re all human, we all have relationships, whether that’s with friends, whether that’s with family, whether that’s with loved ones. And it’s important for us to have conversations like these, so that way we’re able to find solutions. So that way we’re more mindful of our partners and mindful of ourselves. So that way we’re able to have healthy relationships and we’re not just continuing the same generational cycle that our parents did, that our grandparents did, that our great grandparents did. Because I definitely think generational trauma is a whole other term that gets manifested in many different ways. But yeah, I think your answer was spot on, Lisa. Definitely. I like where you bring in relationships being I think relationships are everything. When you go to the grocery, you’re having a relationship with the person checking you out and in business with your clients, with your coworkers, with your supervisors, everything is a relationship. And when you decide within yourself, kind of that tone, that vibrational tone you want to have in your relationships that I want to be understanding, I want to be authentic, I want to be kind, that that can set the tone for everything and everyone. So you’re not like at the mercy of everyone else’s mood. You set the mood for yourself and your relationships. And when you enter a situation where someone’s in a different vibration and that mood, you can excuse yourself usually or go spend time with someone else, do something else to kind of not be again in situations that can even become toxic because you’re trying to convince someone of something or battle it out to just kind of look for the path of most allowance and most ease as you go through your day in your relationships. 1s Yes, I completely agree. Like, again, everybody that we surround ourselves with, again, like, we feed off of each other’s energy. So, like you said, if we are if we are, like, displaying negative energy and stuff, it just stresses out more of our own owned day, whether that’s at the grocery store, whether that is because all it takes is for you to lash back out at somebody, an employee at a restaurant, and then they lash back out at you. Now your day, just like you said, Lisa, just got more stressful than it needed to be. Totally. It’s important at the end of the day for us to just to wrap everything up, to really just, like, do that inner work and really help ourselves and understand ourselves. And I definitely think through your book and through other resources that you have displayed on this podcast, we can do that. And we’re just going to transition a little bit because I know we talked about relationships and your journey and all that fun stuff. I do really like to wrap everything up when it comes to the podcast. I do like to talk about astrology a little bit. I know for you the fact that you’ve written a whole book and you’ve tied Astrology to it. What’s your overall relationship with Astrology and where did it really start for you when it comes to your relationship with astrology? 1s Sure I’m a psychotherapist, not an astrologer. So I’m bringing astrology into the book, into the conversation from a psychological perspective. It’s such a complex symbolic language and I even have a resource section in the back of my book directing you to some astrologers that I really think are awesome since that’s not my area of expertise. I do understand and know about chiron as far as chiron is such a psychological placement in your chart having to do with vulnerability and wounding and healing and how that can be the missing piece for you to really be like AHA, this is the one area to beef up, to fortify, to strengthen myself in that your patterns source from that you haven’t really desired to see in your life and by shifting that, it can be more of everything you desire. So I use astrology as a diagnostic tool in my book from the perspective of chiron. And again, I think it’s such a beautiful symbolic language and in another life I would have spent time in astrology school and astrologer school and learn more because it’s like these symbolic synergies between planets and the snapshot of the solar system when you were born. It’s like a beautiful blueprint in paradigm. 1s Yeah, I completely agree. Lisa, again, 1s as I was studying more about psychology, astrology started to get the universe was starting to throw me more hints at astrology and I really wanted to really take a deep dive into that. And I completely agree. I love that visualization. It’s like when we’re born, this is how the solar system was aligned and here’s a snapshot of it. And I definitely think that’s a really cool way to visualize when it comes to our own astrology charts, our own natal charts and stuff. And just like you said, it’s a very beautiful thing. And I definitely think in a past lifetime I definitely wasn’t, like you said, similar to you in astrology school and learning about it because I definitely wish there was more resources in this lifetime because I definitely would have taken even on a deeper level. But, yeah, I think your answer has been really great and spot on and everything that you brought to the table in terms of adding the chiron into the discussion and really helping us understand ourselves, it’s important. But to wrap everything up, I have all my guests that come on. This is where I usually google like, your astrology chart a little bit. There’s a website called the Horoscope co it’s a cool little website where all I do is I take your son and Moonsign and these people, they do little readings based off of that. 1s So as I give you your reading, Lisa, just let me know how you feel. So for you, you are a Gemini Sun with an Aries Moon. And it says, it says an Admirable personality quickwitted the Gemini Sun aries Moon personality masters communication and uses perception to naturally problem solve and showcase originality and effectiveness. Positives for your sun and Moon combination. Very insightful and open minded. Negatives. Can get distracted at times and can forget things at times. Perfect partner. Someone who is gentle but also firm with them. And then word of advice for your sun and Moon combination, they need to learn to tone down their impulses and not rush into things. So as I give you your positives negatives, perfect partner and advice, what are some thoughts that come to mind? 1s No, I think that’s great. I think all that resonates, for sure. I know I’ve worked on the forgetfulness. Like, I keep good notes and there’s little tricks you can do to stay on task. I know I utilize little sticky notes and reminders, and so I feel like I’ve grown in that area for sure to make sure I don’t miss things. And like, I cross t’s and dot is definitely the impulsivity. It’s something that I’ve learned to also channel that I do have an immediate yes or no to things, and I’ve learned to just hold off a little bit with my yes and allow some time to unfold or not and just learning how to yeah, so I think it’s spot on. Thank you. Yeah, of course. If you want, I can send you a link once we’re done recording and you can let them deep read and stuff, but it’s really cool at the end of the day, again, I really like astrology and all that fun stuff. But Lisa, I’ve really enjoyed our conversation. I know you do a lot of work. I know you also do a podcast. I know you’ve written a book that we talked about where can everybody check out your work? 1s That’s awesome. Josh, the number one place is through my website, which is nolawtherapy.com, it stands for New Orleans, Los Angelestherapy.com, nola Therapy.com. And I’m also nola therapy on Instagram and Facebook and on YouTube. And I’d love to connect with your audience and even offer them half off a session if they’re a first time client to do a remote session for therapy. And they just need to mention you or your podcast. Oh, that’s awesome. And Lisa, I’ll make sure to put all the links in the show description, and I also will put that note in as well, so that’s really cool as well. So, listeners, you get half off your first session, so that’s great. Thank you. Josh, you’re awesome and very insightful, of course. And Lisa, I want to say again, thank you for a wonderful conversation and please stay safe. You too. Your clients are going to be lucky to have you. 

Summary

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast! In today’s episode, Josh ran a full-on discussion on the Roe Vs. Wade Decision and how that impact all women in the united states. Josh also had a very productive conversation with Darlene, a podcast host and expert on the state laws in Nevada! Change starts with understanding and being mindful of how our trauma manifests and impacts others. If you want to donate, click on the links below to donate to programs trying to help families and mothers who need an abortion. We must work together to help each other. 

Programs looking to help women who need an abortion

https://www.shondaland.com/act/news-politics/a39929589/7-organizations-to-donate-to-in-order-to-protect-roe-v-wade/

Planned Parenthood

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Afiya Center

https://www.theafiyacenter.org/

Texas Equal Access Fund

Darlene’s Podcast

https://anchor.fm/darlene-anderson/episodes/We-have-work-to-do-e1fi74i — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

Summary

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast! Today’s episode talks about the story of Anna Leonarda, a cancer survivor and the creator of Entwine Dating, a dating app for people who experience sexual dysfunction and are looking for a partner. Anna opens up and shares her journey from getting and beating breast cancer to experiencing sexual dysfunction and the lack of awareness our society has about sexual dysfunction. Anna has always had a passion for helping people, and you can check out her dating app and everything she does by clicking on the link below!  Like always, please like, rate, and subscribe to the podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!  Anna’s Website https://www.entwinedating.com/ Entwine Dating app https://app.entwine.live/login THE GIVEAWAY WINNER WIll BE ANNOUNCED ON THE INSTAGRAM SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE TONIGHT!  — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

 Hey everybody, and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode talks about the story of Anna Leonarda. Anna opens up and shares her journey through experiencing and overcoming cancer to even experiencing sexual dysfunction and how that is has really impacted her. Today, Anna created her own dating app titled Entwine Dating where if anyone is experiencing sexual dysfunction, you guys can go on this app and find people and find intimacy. Anna has always had a passion for helping people and like always guide, you guys can reach out to her and check out all of her work by clicking on the links in the show description. And like always, guys, please like, rate and subscribe on Apple podcasts and Spotify. Your subscriptions will help boost the podcast overall. Without further ado, here is my conversation with Anna. Hey everybody, and welcome to your spiritual best friend. I am your host Josh Sanchez, and I’m here with a very special guest, Anna. Anna, how are you doing today and what’s going on? I’m doing great, thank you. Just enjoying the nice weather. It’s finally warm in Chicago. Yeah. And I just want to say before we really get into a lot of our conversations today, I want to say again, thank you for coming out, reaching out, wanting to be on the podcast and to be comfortable with sharing your story because with this podcast, like a lot of my guests that do come on, I just love to bring new perspectives on to things and we can learn a lot from each other. So I just want to say thank you for reaching out and wanted to come along. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, definitely. And Anna, I think our first question just to start off this whole conversation that we have is when it comes to work and stuff, what are some passions that you have and what do you really like to enjoy doing for work? Right now, I’m currently working on an app, a dating app, and that’s my passion is to help people and what you’ll learn later in your show by creating it as a dating app and what’s targeting and my goal is just to help people. I went through cancer and I thought, why did I go through cancer? And I think this is the reason why. It’s just to help other people that are struggling with the similar limitations that I have. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I know, like, when it comes to, like, your answer, I know there’s a couple of parts that we can really get into. And for you, like, I know you mentioned a lot about, like, you have this passion for really helping people, and that leads you right to my first question. Just like, when it comes to that passion for helping people, where did that really stem from for you? 2s I think I’ve always been like that. I always put everybody else first. And when I went through cancer, I was always trying to help everybody else to feel comfortable, and I was trying to stay strong for everybody else and say, okay, I’m going to be okay. Everything’s fine. 3s I remember somebody coming up to me and talking to me about their cancer journey, and it scared the heck out of me. There was chemotherapy and how horrible it was, and I was like, wait. I was like, I can’t do chemo. And I was freaking out and I felt so alone. So then I talked to another lady, and she was actually in her 70s compared to the other person I was speaking to, was in their forty s. And she was like, oh, chemo is fine, you’ll be fine, honey. And I’m like, I don’t notice a difference. And like. 1s The negative versus the positive. I mean, not that cancer is ever easy or treatment is ever easy, but I realized when I heard that positivity from somebody, I’m like, wait a minute, I want to be like that. I want to help somebody through their journey. And that’s what I started doing was was helping people that were scared, newly diagnosed, or having a cancer scare and walking them through it and trying to help them as much as I could because I wanted to bring a smile on everybody else’s faces too. When I was doing chemotherapy, I would wear a pink wig and I would wear a shirt that says Cancer sucks. And 1s just to have people smile and just keep a little bit light hearted because it is a scary time and laughter is the best medicine, right? Yeah, definitely. 2s It is like the best medicine because I can only imagine for you being diagnosed with cancer, how hard that must have been on you initially like that feeling. Because, again, based off of what we learned so much about cancer, it’s definitely like a lifethreatening. Like a lot of people do not when they get diagnosed with cancer, they do not come back from that. So for you to hear someone that was very positive was definitely something that you needed. And that just leaves me right to my next question. So for you, Anna, 2s when you first realize you did get diagnosed, like you did have cancer, what was that initial thought for you? Because we all know it’s a lot to handle. I was 36 years old and I found a breast lump in the shower. 1s And I thought, well, it’s probably nothing. And I worked in pathology for about eight years as the secretary, so I heard a lot of cancer diagnosis coming in and stuff. So I was like, these people are going are older and I don’t have any cancer history. It’s probably nothing. 2s When I got the diagnosis, I remember my mom’s birthday. I was at her house trying to celebrate her birthday. And then I knew I had cancer and I had to leave the house and not tell her. I can’t tell her on her birthday. So when I found out, I was in shock. I mean, I was was thinking, wait a minute, am I going to die? 1s Because I thought growing up, I always thought I’m never going to make it to my forties. I don’t know what it was. Something in my gut was telling me I’m not going to make it to my 40s. I’m 46 now, so thanks. I was wrong. So when I got diagnosed, I’m like, this is it. Maybe this is what’s not going to happen. I had two kids and I have two kids. That’s the hard thing about them. And just a lot of things going through my head and all I heard was aggressive cancer. 2s And I was just finding out I had three tumors on my left breast. And I thought 2s it was just unreal when I got diagnosed. And I thought, you know what? 1s Whatever I need to do, I need to beat it. And losing my hair and being forced into menopause at 36, it was definitely traumatic and the double mastectomy, 1s but I just wanted to do whatever I could to survive and be there for my kids. And 1s that’s what I did. Almost ten years Survivor. In November, I’ll be ten years Survivor. Well, and I will say again, like, power to you again for overcoming those initial feelings. Like you said 1s initially, I could only imagine again how much that is to handle inside of you. You’re realizing not only physically but mentally, too. You really have this serious, like because cancer is very intense and very serious. So power to you again for realizing. And that just leaves me right to my next question. Just building off of that, like, as you were going through your journey and as you’re starting to like you said you took chemo, as you’re getting better, what are some things that you started to realize within yourself as you were going through this journey of understanding cancer and overcoming it? 2s I didn’t realize how strong I was. I guess another thing, too, is I went through six or seven surgeries, and it was constant, constantly going, and I had no time to worry or to to feel sorry for myself. And I’m trying to stay positive, like I said to everybody else around me. And I didn’t realize until probably about six months ago that I’m like, wait, I have never cried about my cancer. I never, like, sat there and thought about it, what I went through, and I’ve been through a lot. And that’s when I started realizing, I need to talk about it. So I actually started seeing a therapist about it, because I thought, I think I’ve been holding this all in. And now that I’m on these podcasts, I’m joining these podcasts, and I’m talking about my story more and more, I’m like, Whoa, this really affected me. I didn’t realize how much that I have PTSD. And then I’ve been through 2s near depth experience, and I never thought about it. Nine years later, almost ten years, 2s a lot of people would tell me why you’re such a strong person. And I’m like, I have no choice. It’s either feel sorry for myself and not beat this or stick straight, strong and positive. And so I chose that way. It seemed like a lot easier to cope with what I was going through. 2s Yeah, definitely. Anna and I want to say again, it’s crazy how our bodies work and how our minds work, like you said, for that, like nine plus years. 2s Again, just remaining positive, trying to remain strong, you know, like being air for others, making sure everybody else was positive. So then when it came to yourself, you came to that realization and were like, dang, 2s I have not really talked about this. Like you mentioned, I didn’t really cry about this. 2s And now you’re doing podcasts and stuff like that too, and being able to share your story. So I wanted to, again, just commend you again for your growth as well, because it’s very hard to talk about our traumas. It’s very hard to talk about our experiences when we are when something as intense as getting cancer, it’s a lot. So power to you 2s for taking those steps to go to therapy and be more open to share your story, because like you said, you have this passion for helping others and as you’re getting more comfortable talking about your story and you’re just helping out more and more people. So power to you, Anna, for doing that. And I just want to, again, commend you for your growth because again, it’s a lot. It’s definitely a lot. And I can only imagine how I would feel if I was in that situation. I get diagnosed with cancer. The initial thoughts and the process and all that, I can only imagine. So power to you. Thank you very much. Of course, anytime. And just continuing our conversation a little bit when it comes to that. I know you mentioned again, like you have a passion for others. I know you mentioned you really love to remain positive. So how do you remain positive when you’re are, like, experiencing what you are experiencing but still trying to remain positive? How do you do that? 4s I had a hard time, I guess not a hard time, but 2s back in the day, early on for the diagnosis, I just saw others around me like, hey, it could be worse, it could be worse. 2s And being negative, it wasn’t going to help me. I knew that in my head. 7s It’s such for my kids. I want them to stay positive. 1s I don’t want to look sick in front of my kids losing hair. I know people kept saying bald is beautiful, and I’m like, I don’t think it is. When you’re sick, you got dark circles on your eyes and you’re bald. Don’t tell me that. 1s With my kids, I would just wear my wig all the time. I wear my hat. 1s I wasn’t bald in front of anybody. I have a couple of pictures without my hair and 3s I just felt like that was me being sick. But I would try to turn it around 1s my kids and I go, if you see me without my hair, I go. That just means that my medicine is working and 2s it means that I’m going to get and so I would try to change it around to give it a different perspective for others and myself as well, just to keep me positive. OK, I’m losing all my hair, but that means that I’m going to get better. It’s going to grow back. It’s probably going to be. 1s Thicker, which it is. My hair is usually curly. I straighten it. But 1s I was so excited when I had, like, one piece of hair sticking out. I’m open. Gosh. My hair is growing. 3s Just helping other people, I think that gave me some energy and some fuel to to just keep going and doing what I’m doing and helping others to 1s know that they’re not alone. Not only with the cancer journey, but the other sexual dysfunction issue, which I’ll talk about. Just talking about that a lot too, is 2s something that is my passion. And I’m just trying to end the stigma of a lot of things. 2s Yeah, definitely. Anna and I will say again, like, power too. And I think that’s a good way to remain positive when you are with your loved ones, just realizing, like, hey, we’re going to get better. It’s that positive reinforcement. Just keep reminding people, like, hey, this is just all part of the journey. We’re going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. And I definitely think, like, that reassurance, that positive reinforcement, all that stuff that you have been doing, Anna, has definitely been great. And that leads me right to just like my next question, just like, I know again, when it comes to helping people, what’s some advice you would give to someone that is really, like, struggling to find themselves or is really going through something that’s really hard to overcome? What’s the advice that you would really give to them? 3s Just take one day at a time. I’m trying not to think years in advance. And it’s very overwhelming when you’re newly diagnosed and just listen to your doctors and be, of course you’re your best advocate. I know when I was diagnosed, 3s when my first doctor didn’t want me to get an MRI of my breast, so I had one tumor, and then 1s the male doctor told me they were just going to do a lumpectomy just to take the lump out, and that’s it. I went to another doctor and she was like, let’s do an MRI of your breast. So I’m like, Okay. So 1s that’s when they found a second tumor. And then the surgery, they found the third tumor. So it’s like, just listen to your doctors. Listen to your gut too, and just follow. Take one day at a time because it is overwhelming. All these medical terms are coming at you at once and everything. And 3s for people that are wanting to help you, everybody wants to help. So I know with myself, everybody wanted to give me meals. I want to bring food to your house. And that just gave me anxiety. I’m like, Wait a minute, don’t send me food. 2s Think of other ways of how to allow them to help you. So what I did was I said, you know what? I would really appreciate if you can cook meals, but I don’t know what I’m going to be able to handle with chemotherapy and help. My taste buds are going to be on my stomach or whatever. So it’d be great if you just give me gift cards. If you want to do something, please give me a gift card to a restaurant or to the grocery store or whatever it is, so that we can just 2s day by day, because it’s hard to think. It’s overwhelming, too. It’s nice to have help, but it’s also really hard for me to accept it. So I just try to find out other ways to allow people to help. Because people love to help, but definitely they take it one day at a time. 1s And if there is somebody that’s there that wants to help you on your journey, whatever it is, 1s try to let them do that. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I know you mentioned a couple answers ago, like, realizing that you’re not alone too. So like, when people are asking for help, you know, like you said, being able to accept that help, but obviously also realizing within yourself, like, hey, instead of of sending me food, you guys can send me gift cards and stuff. Because I know you guys want to help because like you said, Anna, it really is a day by day journey. 1s Every day you’re going to have highs, you’re going to have lows. And it’s good for you though, that you do have people in your corner that are willing to help, but just realize that you are not alone when you are experiencing this too. Because I know you mentioned that a couple of answers ago and I wanted to highlight that too. You’re not alone. We all got to work together. The more people are there to help you, the more positive, the more good energy that you have. And then you’re able to fight cancer and now you’re able to share your story and help others. So that’s great to hear. Definitely. Six therapy. I mean, if that’s something that you need, that it always helps to talk to somebody. 2s Professional. Yeah, definitely. I will say group therapy. Therapy, I go see my individual therapist. But for people that are always like a little because individual therapy, it’s a lot because it’s one on one and you’re doing and a lot of the talking, but even group therapy as well, because you’re hearing other people’s stories and you’re hearing other people’s perspectives on what they experience, and it makes you realize again that you’re not alone going through this process. So group therapy and the visual therapy, I completely agree with you, Anna, that there is a lot of resources. So it’s great. Absolutely. But yeah, transition a little bit. I know we talked a lot about your journey, beating cancer and experiencing that, and I really appreciate you opening up and being comfortable with sharing, because I know it’s definitely very hard to do transition. I know you mentioned that you created an app. Where did this idea really stem from, and what is your main focus with creating your app? 2s Growing up, I had something called endometriosis, which can cause painful intercourse, heavy periods, and severe cramps and everything. So I had that growing up. And then when I got married and I became sexually active, I realized, why does intercourse hurt? It always hurts. Sex hurt. And I would go to the doctors and they would say, well, it’s because you’re nervous. Have a glass of wine, you’ll be fine. And I was like, Okay. 2s Even like, not to get too graphic or too personal, but even inserting tampons would hurt. And I thought it was normal. I didn’t talk to anybody about it. When I was told the doctors, they were like, well, you’re just nervous. So I went to a few different doctors after several years, and they said the same thing, well, have a glass of wine. So I ended up having a couple of kids. Thankfully, I was very blessed with that. And then one day, I couldn’t have sex anymore. It was like hitting a wall. And I didn’t know what was wrong. But I went to the doctor again, and she’s like a new doctor, and she said, you have something called vaginismus. And what vaginismus is, is the opening of the vagina. There’s muscles there, and they’re involuntarily spasming, contracting. And the reason that happens, I had to go to a physical therapist, a public floor therapist, and they said that. If somebody they gave an example, if somebody came up to you and kept punch you in the stomach over and over again, whenever they saw you or approached you, you would eventually just kind of tend to back away. And that’s what my muscles were doing in my vaginal opening. So if sex became it was impossible, I started doing the therapy, and there’s like, dilators, we have to slowly stretch the opening. It’s a very long process. And then I got the breast cancer, and I thought, well, forget about my broken vagina, which I would call it my broken vagina. Let me focus on beating cancer. And that’s what I did. So then I started doing the treatment after my vaginas mistreatment, after I beat cancer. And it was like my doctor, I remember my oncologist telling me, 1s because your breast cancer is estrogen fed, the goal is to get rid of all your estrogen. We’re going to force you in the menopause. You’re going to have vaginal dryness, you’re going to have lack of libido, it’s going to be painful intercourse. And I’m like, I already have all that, so how can it get any worse? And it did with the vaginal dryness and everything. So the treatment was even worse for me using the dilator. So I kind of put that on hold again. And I was married at the time for 20 years, and when my marriage was coming to an end, I thought, 1s How am I going to date anybody? How am I going to meet somebody that’s going to understand that I can’t have intercourse and I don’t want intercourse. I rather not have it at all anymore? Because that’s all I remember, is that’s all I ever had was pain. And I just kind of fought through it because the doctors like, what is normal, fine. So I kind of just dealt with the pain for so many years. And so I thought, well, I really like being intimate with somebody. 1s I just don’t want to have sex because it’s just too traumatic for me. And I thought I’ll just be single. I thought, Wait a minute. I went through endometriosis, a broken vagina cancer, not to just be alone. And I thought, Why did I get breast cancer? Is it because I thought it’s because to help people. That’s what I thought, okay? That’s why I kept saying, anybody diagnosed? Anybody’s friends? Anybody is having a cancer scare, please have them reach out to me. This is the reason why I have cancer, is to help other people. But I thought, Well, I need to do more. There’s something else that I’m missing. And I thought, what about guys that have erectile dysfunction? How are they dating? And I was finding that my friends that were going on dating apps, they were meeting these individuals that were in their thirty S and forty S, and they’re on the second day, or maybe the first day, they’re like, by the way, I have erectile dysfunction. I have prostate cancer. I had diabetes. I have a heart condition. I have PTSD. I have antidepressants that are causing erectile dysfunction. And my friends are like, oh, my gosh, there’s so many guys out there that have Ed, and they’re so young, and my friends are frustrated about it. And I thought, well, that’s embarrassing for these guys. And I’m like, well, how do I meet these guys? I wouldn’t mind dating a guy with Ed. 2s So I started thinking about it. I’m. 2s There needs to be something that I need to create an app, because I couldn’t use a regular traditional dating app because I thought, that’s going to be embarrassing. How am I going to tell these guys that I have this issue? So I thought, let me create a dating app that takes the sexual expectations out of dating, so that people like myself that have these sexual limitations, they can go on dates and meet other people with similar limitations, and they don’t have to worry about being judged or embarrassed or rejected because they can’t have intercourse. We didn’t choose to be like this, and we deserve to be loved too. So I just created the dating app in Twine, and it went live last August of 2021. And we’re really excited about it. And that’s my passion. It’s just to get the word out and end the stigma of sexual dysfunction. Because there are a lot of women out there that are still being blown off by these doctors, and they’re saying, have a glass of wine, and I’m like, you’re still saying that. 2s And then these gentlemen, men that have erectile dysfunction, that’s another thing too, is that some of them might all of a sudden have erectile dysfunction and they’re scared to go to the doctor. It’s like you need to go to the doctor because it could be some underlying condition. Maybe you’re about to have a stroke. Maybe you have a clogged artery or something. It could be an easy fix. 3s When I did some research and I realized that there was 30 million men in the US. Have erectile dysfunction, and worldwide, there’s approximately 320,000,000 men that have erectile dysfunction. I’m not alone. There are men that are not alone, and there’s definitely the ones that are being reported. 2s It’s a big problem, and there are peers, and some people may not want to do treatment like myself. I don’t want to do my treatment anymore for vaginisms, and I should have the right, because I want to do it for myself, and I don’t want to do it for somebody else. I don’t want that pressure of someone saying, hey, did you use your dilators yet? When is that going to be fixed? I have needs, whatever the other person would say. And that’s why I thought, this is something that is very needed. And not only am I trying to end the stigma of the sexual dysfunction part of it, but I’m also trying to increase awareness. And if you have find a lump like myself I found a breast lump. If I didn’t go to the doctor, I wouldn’t be here anymore. It was an aggressive tumor if I was too scared to get it checked out. And thankfully, I’m considered to be cancer free almost ten years. And these men that are having issues and they’re scared, you know, maybe if it is prostate cancer, it doesn’t mean you’re going to have Ed. Don’t be scared. The longer you wait, the harder the treatment with any kind of illness. So that’s why I ended up doing the dating app and also trying to increase the awareness of of sexual dysfunction and being your best patient advocate. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I want to say again, just power to you for all the hard work you’re putting in. Because like I said before, I mean, we all experience things in our lifetime for a reason. And for you, like, being able to embrace everything that you have experienced and to now create a whole app that’s focusing on really just helping others that are experiencing sexual dysfunction, power to you for doing that, because I know there’s definitely a lot of steps that were taken during that, and it definitely must have been like a challenge at first to really find, like, how am I going to put this app all together? But power to you for doing that and being comfortable again, like, sharing your story. 1s Because again, I definitely think when it comes to sex and stuff like that too, I definitely think there’s a lot of people. It’s just, again, like how we’re taught as society, it’s all about just the physical part of intimacy. But there’s so many different aspects of intimacy. There’s emotional intimacy. There’s a lot coming in, and it’s more than just physical. And I can only imagine for you to hear those doctors say that, that definitely must have been very frustrating to hear that you just need a glass of wine and you’ll be fine. This is what’s actually going on in my body. Because, again, our bodies, we react to certain forms of trauma. And to experience that and then to have a doctor that’s supposed to be an expert say that, it’s sort of just like, there’s a problem here in this society. So that just leads me right to my next question for you. Like, when you heard your doctor just say, just, like, have a glass of wine, how did that initially just really make you feel? Like I wasn’t being listened to or just being ignored, blown off. And it’s like we’re always focusing, seems like on men, hey, how can we increase guys libido and erectile dysfunction? And then for me, it’s just like, you’re fine. And I was like, I just felt alone. And my friends were like, It hurts. Why does it hurt? Maybe you’re the wrong guy. And 1s what are we going to do with my husband? 2s I just felt lost and alone and ignored. And there was a few doctors that did that. And I remember speaking to a lady, 2s She was just about to get married. She’s like, I’m engaged. I’m getting married. And she asked me what I did for a living, and I told her about my app, and then she just like, or her mouth dropped open. She’s like, I have painful sex all the time, and I just kind of deal with it. I’m actually bleeding. I’m having sex, and I’m bleeding. And I went to the doctor, and the doctor told me, have a glass of wine. And I’m like, no. I was like, you have to get it checked out. Here’s my doctor. 2s Don’t listen to them. I just couldn’t believe that doctors still say that. It’s like, what year are we in here? How do they not know what vaginismus is? Or how do they not know that sex should not hurt like that? They should not be bleeding like that? And so she’s going to get married and just kind of deal with it. And so I thought that’s why I was like, I’ve got to keep talking about this. 1s It is very personal. And I’m just talking about cancer, broken vaginas and stuff. 1s My mom very old school Italian. She would tell me, I can’t own a heavy accent. I can’t believe you talk about your broken vagina on the Internet. I’m like, Mom, I have to because it is increasing awareness and that’s. 2s I don’t want anybody to think that they’re alone in any kind of journey that they’re in. There’s other people that are going through the same thing. So it was really hard to I remember crying in the doctor’s office when I was telling her, I have sex with my husband five times. We’ve been married for a year, or whatever it was at the time. And she just looked at me, you’re okay? Just have a glass of wine. So I got to get drunk to 1s have sex with my partner, my husband. So it was extremely frustrating. Yeah. And just add to your point. I can only imagine how frustrating it was to hear that. And I definitely think when it comes to a lot of studies, 1s there’s not, like, an awareness when it comes to that, to understanding the woman’s body as well as much as a man’s. Because if you really look at our society, if you look at it as a collective, it’s capitalism here in the United States. So a lot of white men have always been in power. So it’s sort of just like when it comes to studies on women’s bodies or it comes to studies done on other people’s bodies other than, like, a white man’s, definitely 1s there’s a lack of awareness there. So I just wanted to highlight that as well, Anna, as well, by you being comfortable with sharing your story and opening up your increasing awareness so that way more people can understand what’s actually going on when we are experiencing, like, sexual dysfunction and how can we move forward? Because once there’s an awareness, that’s when we can start to understand as a collective, okay, now there’s an increased awareness, now we can move forward. Let’s actually put in the work to actually help. And that just leaves me right to my next question for you. I know you’ve had some bad experiences with doctors, and I know if your app entwined dating. I like the sound of that. Definitely has a good ring to it. How has it been so far, like, increasing awareness? Have you had any really good stories because of your app and stuff like that? I don’t have any success stories as far as any kind of matches, but I have received several emails 1s that thank you, me, for creating the app. I remember my first email I received was from a gentleman that actually taught me something, because he said he had something called Peroni’s disease. And he said that he has abnormal so Peroni’s disease is abnormal curvature of the penis. And I guess it could be, like, kind of banana shaped, and it can cause painful intercourse, making an intercourse impossible, and it can also cause painful interactions. And he said he’s been dealing with this for so many years, and women that he was approaching, he said, I feel like a fraud to these women because I’m talking to them. 2s Trying to date them. And then when I finally reach the point where I’m going to tell them about my condition, I feel like a fraud because I’m not being honest. And you think with your app, I’m able to go on your app and not have to worry about that. It takes the expectations off right away, and I don’t even have to talk about my condition and until I’m ready. And I was like, Oh, Peroni’s disease. I didn’t even hear about that. And I guess that’s coming, too. 1s I heard from another woman that said the same similar thing where she said that she’s been alone for 15 years. She hasn’t dated because she’s tired of being rejected all the time because she doesn’t want to have intercourse. She has a lack of libido, vaginal, dryness pain, and she just wants to be with somebody for the other forms of intimacy that are out there. And she’s just like, I just can’t wait to find somebody that’s out there for me that will understand my condition and accept me just the way I am. And I’m like, that’s right. You need to just be yourself. 2s There’s a couple of other 1s emails that I did receive the same thing, similar stories where they just are scared to just be rejected, and now they finally have hope, which is 2s what I love. That’s what keeps me going, too. I reach a point where I’ll meet somebody that says 2s somebody that holds a podcast. I asked him. He talks about mainly erectile dysfunction. And I said, can we talk about my app on your show? Because I’m guessing 100% of your audience is male. And he’s like, no, your app is a dead end app. And people, they want to get cured. These guys want to get cured, and you’re a dead end app, so I can’t talk about your app. And I’m like, what if a guy doesn’t want to have a penile implant? What if he doesn’t want to have surgery? What if he can’t take Viagra because it gives him a big headache or other side effects? What if he doesn’t want to do penile injections? That sounds painful. And I know there are side effects to that too. So I thought and I’m like, by myself, I don’t have to do treatment, 1s and I can use this app, and I don’t have to do treatment, and the guys don’t have to do treatment. So that was frustrating to hear that. But then I started hearing 1s I kind of ramble a lot. If you notice that 2s you’re nodding yes. 6s I started meeting guys, and they’ll say stuff like, 1s I’ll tell them about my dating app, and they’ll say, Oh, well, it’s okay. You have other holes. Or what about anal? And I’m like, Wow. One guy told me, you have the perfect reason why a guy wouldn’t want to be with you. So I started getting all these negative, horrible comments. I’m thinking, what if there’s somebody? It just reminds me of like, okay, this is what I’m doing. This is why I’m doing this app. It’s to protect these individuals that are hearing these harsh comments, insensitive comments. And they’re not all like that. Some of them are very honest and just say, like, hey, I can’t be with you because I need to have sex. I’m like, you know what? It’s better to be honest when I hear those comments. Like, you have other holes. What about anal? 1s Wait till you’re with me. I’ll cure you. And I thought, what about these men and women that have been through traumatic sexual trauma and they have to hear this. How alone are they feeling? And 1s they’re going to probably shut down or maybe even be suicidal. I have come across a couple that have commented saying that they don’t want to live anymore because they have erectile dysfunction. And it’s like, no, no one should ever end their life, ever. But especially for this, there’s somebody out there that’s going to accept you just the way you are. So 3s there’s a lot of people out there that I want to reach, and some of them may not even have sexual dysfunction. And they’re on my app, which I found surprising. There’s a couple of my friends that are on the app, and I’m like, you have sexual dysfunction? They’re like, no, it’s just I want to be with somebody that wants me just the way I am. And that’s not all they want is sex. I want someone that wants me for they want the emotional connection. So I found that surprising too, that men and women were on my app up, and they don’t even have 1s sexual limitations. 3s Yeah, and I will say power to you as well. Like, when you’re doing something, you know, that is that really is focusing on really helping people, you’re going to get a lot of positive feedback and you’re also going to get a lot of negative feedback just because, again, a lot of people in this world, old are very ignorant when it comes to certain things. And so for those people and those guys to say that to you, I can only imagine that would have really pissed me off. I know I would have been pissed off. I would have probably would have backslapped. They just be like, hey, you need to wake up slap just to knock some sense into you. But yeah, I can only imagine again, and I think that’s one of the keys when it comes to creating something new, creating an app that’s really focusing on a new demographic that so many people are not, not obviously not educated enough and don’t have that awareness. So power to you for doing that, taking those initial steps and really trying to help people. Because at the end of the day, like you said with your app and I noticed with you being able to be vulnerable and share your story, I know there’s a lot of other people too that can connect with you and you guys can. You’re really just helping out that really helping out other people at the end of the day. And that’s what’s important because we don’t want to feel alone, we don’t want to feel isolated and feel like I’m different from society. We all are human at the end of the day. And it’s important for us to grow as all individuals and to really be like our real happy selves. In order to do that, we need to really just embrace what we do have in order for us to grow. So power to you for really trying to help people that are experiencing sexual dysfunction to really take those steps to grow. And I will say, overall, I’ve really enjoyed our conversation when it comes to your dating app and Twine, and I’ll make sure the link is in the show description. So if you guys are experiencing sexual dysfunction and want to check out this dating app, I’ll put it in the show link so that way you guys can all check that out. But transitioning a little bit. And I know we talked a lot about your journey, experiencing cancer, also sexual dysfunction, and how it’s really fueled you have this passion to help others and inspire others. Just talking a little bit about relationships, like when it comes to friendships or even like a romantic partner, like, what are some qualities that you really look for? 2s Just someone that’s compassionate, understanding, honest and faithful. You know, that’s a huge thing because when you have some limitations that I do have, if I was with a guy that doesn’t have any kind of sexual limitation 1s in my mind, I’m thinking, oh, that person going to cheat. So the trust is huge. 1s That’s definitely number one for me, is the trust and definitely the patience, because with my lack of libido and everything, it’s just like I feel like there’s times where I’m like, Oh, gosh, maybe I should be alone because I know there’s somebody out there that will love me just the way I am. And I’m not in a hurry right now. Right now, I’m trying to heal myself. And like I said, seeing a therapist and kind of just dealing with helping myself first before I start seeking a relationship, yeah, definitely. Like you said, trust. And really just having someone that’s very compassionate and has empathy, really understanding where you’re coming from and everything that you’ve experienced, it’s important. So that way you have this concept of empathy. You’re understanding each other, you’re understanding each other’s perspectives and where they come from and what they’ve experienced, and then you’re building and establishing trust with that. I definitely think those two things, like you said, because like you said, Anna, you’re going to therapy. This is a time for you. Like, you’re on a very long journey and you’re realizing more, taking care of yourself, and so having people around you that you can trust and that can empathize with you are definitely important. My next question, just sticking to relationships because especially for you, like, creating a dating app, besides the sexual, like, limitations and stuff and everything, why else do you feel like relationships tend to fail? I think because of lack of communication. That’s number one as well, because. 2s For example, 1s myself being married at the time, I was always like, instead of saying, 2s hey, 1s I’m nervous, I’m scared, it feels like I was walking into fire every time. I was trying to avoid all forms of intimacy, which I didn’t tell my ex husband at the time, or her ex husband, I should say. I was kind of, like, avoiding working in the bedroom, avoiding any kind of touch, because I knew that was going to lead to pain eventually. So communication 1s is number one for a relationship to work, especially if you do have sexual limitations. Because 2s I think with a lot of guys that if I’m in a support group for reptile dysfunction and I kind of watch what these guys are saying and they’re like, I just avoid any kind of intimacy with my wife or my partner because I feel like a failure, it’s because they knew. In their head, they know. Ed’s. 2s Coming up that’s going to show up. 1s But communicating that to the spouse, I think that’s very important because the spouse might think it’s their fault or maybe he’s not attracted to me anymore. So just a lot of communication is very important in any kind of relationship. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I definitely think that’s a very common theme when 1s it comes to men. In particular, I noticed, just because based off of what I experienced, I love my friends at death, and I’ve always been the friend where people really come to for advice and stuff, and it’s really just communicating how you’re feeling. Like, I know for me, there’s definitely been times throughout my life where I’ve had anxiety, high anxiety before, like, having sex. And it’s definitely something that’s hard to communicate in that moment, but you have to be able to communicate that, like, hey, right now I’m just not in a very comfortable environment because for me, I need to have a certain mood. I need to be able to feel relaxed. So it’s like there has been moments where I’ve realized with myself where I’m in a very high stress environment, there’s, like, people I’m just like, I have high anxiety. I’m not doing this right now. And it’s important to communicate that. So that’s just to add to your point, like, just communicating that, because if you keep it inside and then you end up experiencing it, then you end up just really being more self critical on yourself. And I really should have just communicated that. So as I was hearing your answer and I was just like, yeah, I definitely am remembering times where, with me, I’ve definitely been very anxious in moments, and sometimes I did communicate in the times that I didn’t, I always ended up the next day just, like, really frustrated with myself because I should have just been like, hey, right now is not the good time. So I definitely think communication is a huge key, Anna, 2s in any relationship, because we got to be able to understand each other. We’re on the same page, so I completely agree. 1s But I will say just transitioning. I know we talked a lot about your dating app, your passions, relationships. You’ve really given some great advice and some great insight. When it comes to astrology, I always like to have my guest said, I’d like to connect a little astrology aspect to it. So my question for you, Anna, is when it comes to astrology, what’s your overall relationship with me? If someone ever told you, like, what’s your sign is or just overall, like, how you feel about it, 3s I haven’t really had like an astrology reading before, I guess, and I don’t really follow it, to be honest with you. I mean, there was once in a while I’d be like, the Aquarius and Libra match, so something like like that. But I believe in that universe stuff. 3s I don’t know, but otherwise, no, 1s I haven’t really looked into it too much. Oh, yeah, I definitely think you’re really going to enjoy this part then, because what I do with my guests on this, that come on. I just stick to the basics just because, again, like, astrology can get really deep. There’s like houses and there are degrees, and I usually just like to stick to a little bit of the basics. So pretty much the planets that I really look at when I have all my guest charts is your sun sign. So your sun sign is like, people ask you, like, what’s your sign? That’s pretty much like your core qualities for you. You are an Aquarius. So Aquariuses are very future oriented. They’re very deep thinkers. They’re really good at creating new content. And it makes a lot of sense when it comes to you creating the app. And to add to that, so your moon sign is a PISCES. So your moon sign is how you process things emotionally. So your sun sign obviously is in Aquarius, which is an air sign, but your moon sign is in a water sign in PISCES. So with that it comes like the ability. You really want to create things. You really want a lot of PISCES energy. It’s very kind, gentle. So you really want to understand other people’s perspectives. But with sometimes with that PISCES energy, you can get taken advantage of because of being too nice. As I was hearing you describe your journey, you’re really trying to help others and be there for others. And you’ve realized more recently that when it comes to yourself and self care, you realize like, hey, I’m going to therapy now. Now I’m realizing more like, I was keeping so many people positive with yourself. That’s a lot of, like, that PISCES energy. Anna so it’s like you have a mixture of creating a future thinking, and then when it comes to. 1s Empathy. Like, that. Emotions typically can rule. That’s just the basic reading that I got so far. Just looking at your chart, it’s just continuing. Like, Mercury is the planet of communication. So that’s like, communication style. So some people are very 1s blunt with their communication. Some people are very like, they communicate with their emotions. Some people, they communicate logically. And yours is in Capricorn. So Capricorns are very logical. 2s I noticed because I have some Capricorn in my chart, so it’s very just, like, goal oriented. So, like, your communication style is very just like practical. Down to Earth. You might take some time to communicate, but when you do, it’s very real and authentic. And then with Venus, your Venus is like love language. So, like, qualities you look for in a partner. And once we’re done recording, you can maybe realize, hey, what was my past partner? What were their signs? But yours is in Capricorn. So similar to how you communicate. Like, Capricorns are very goal oriented. You’re very into. Like, when it comes to relationship wise, some qualities you really look for. Very goal oriented. That’s based off just what I’m saying. When it comes to astrology, very, like, Capricorns are Earth signs. So, like, home bodies a little bit, but also very hardworking. 1s Goal oriented, all that stuff too. So just like, I usually like to stick again to a little bit of the basics, but how do you feel so far when it comes to like, a little bit of, like, the astrology reading? Sounds pretty accurate. 4s Yeah, definitely. And if you want to know more, obviously when we’re done recording this podcast, I can send you just like, links how I’ve learned and stuff. And that all the information to you so you can learn a little bit more. But to wrap everything up, there’s this website. It’s called the Horoscope Co and pretty much what this website is, it’s a website where a bunch of women, they teamed up and they do little astrology readings based off of your sun and moon sign. So like I mentioned before, Anna, your sun sign is in Aquarius and your moon sign is in PISCES. And the reading. So once I’m done given the reading, just let me know how you feel about it. But you’re an Aquarius Sun PISCES moon, and it says an unconventional personality. Eccentric and fascinating. The Aquarius Sun PISCES moon personality raises more than a few eyebrows, but deep inside, these people are affectionate and have simple needs. Positives for your sun and moon combination. Very responsible, original and sophisticated. Negatives can be a little bit restrained at times and can be a little bit skeptical at times. Perfect partner. Someone who accepts them for their true selves. And word of advice, be careful about the quality of their perception. So as I give you your positives negatives, perfect partner and advice, what are some thoughts that come to mind? 5s A lot going on there. Okay. 3s Yes, 5s that’s me. And then you went to the next part. I’m like, Wait, what do you say? Hold on. So that’s just part of my I call it my chemo brain that just kicked in there. No, it’s all good. I know it could be a lot all at once, because it is. 1s I think you mentioned something about accepting when I first meet somebody, to accept them the way they give them a chance to accept them for the way they are. Yeah. So the perfect partner for you is someone who really accepts you for really who you are. 2s Okay. Yeah. That was the perfect partner part. Yes. That’s definitely something that I’m going to need. 1s Yeah, definitely. And like I said, astrology, it definitely can be a lot all at once. I just know, for me, when I first learned, I was like, dang, this is a lot. Yeah, that’s why I was just like, 2s it’s all good at the end of the day. And I just want to say again, Anna, if you want to know a little bit more when it comes to strategy, I can send you links and stuff and we can all have a whole different conversation, because I know we can go for hours when it comes to astrology, because that’s how much information it is. But, Anna, I really appreciate our conversation. I know you mentioned a little bit about your app and stuff. Where can everybody check out all your work and all that fun stuff? Excuse me. If they go to my website, it’s at entwindating.com, so entwine n e dating.com. And they can also follow me on Instagram at entwined dating and Facebook, as well as Twitter at entwinedating. Yup. And I’ll make sure, again, like I mentioned earlier, that all the links will be in the show description. But Anna, again, thank you again for a wonderful conversation, and please stay safe. Thank you. Thanks again for having me. 

Summary

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast! In today’s episode, Josh opens up about the importance of self-reflection and how self-reflection is the first step toward understanding mindfulness. Josh then talks about the Sagittarius full moon and how that affects each sign. We must all take the time to understand ourselves and our current behaviors for us to grow and love ourselves. 

This talk was brought to you by wisdom, a great platform to connect and gain listeners. The link to Josh’s profile is below to hear more conversations like this one! 

Josh’s Wisdom Profile

https://joinwisdom.audio/sanchez

GIVEAWAY ANNOUNCEMENT The first-ever giveaway for the podcast is a self-reflection book. To be eligible for the item, you must do the following.

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3. Share the podcast with 1-2 people. It can be anyone! You can send all the information to my email address Yourspiritualbestfriend@gmail.com Mid-June will announce the Winners! — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

Hey, everybody, and welcome to your spiritual best friend on this lovely Wednesday morning. I am your host, Josh Sanchez. And this podcast is just going to be like a solo podcast. But I’m also going to have live guests here because I am recording on and the Wisdom app. I love Wisdom. It’s a great app. It’s really helped me connect with some great people. Shout out to all the guys and the men and women and everybody that I’ve connected with so far because we’re all grown and really trying to understand ourselves with today’s podcast, the topics we’re really going to get into, 1s I have a lot to say when it comes to what I’ve been experiencing a lot lately. So I definitely think doing this in a podcast format is important because again, it’s important for us all to open up so that way we can all connect with each other and understand with each other because you’re not alone in what you’re going through. So I’m going to talk about the power of self reflection and what are some ways that we can re ground ourselves. And then we’re going to get into, obviously, the full moon in SAGITTARIUS last night. I know it was on the 14 June. And then we’re also going to talk about the Gemini season because we are still in Gemini season. 2s We have five days left. The last day is Monday, June 20. And we’re going to get into cancer as well. So these are all topics we’re going to talk about today. We’re going to have some fun. We’re going to have a lot of great conversations here, whether that’s via Wisdom or even if you’re just tuning in, because it’s important for us at the end of the day to be mindful and to find ourselves because there’s so many things that distract ourselves. So without further Ado, we’re going to get into the first topic. We’re going to get into it. Now that I’ve done recorded the intro, 2s the first topic I really wanted to get into is the power of self reflection. In order for us and in order for people to grow, we really have to take moments to really just reflect, reflect what’s going on, like both positive and negatively. And lately I’ve definitely been very stressed out. 1s I see a therapist once a week or once every two weeks 1s when I’m on like I’m usually journaling. I’m very attentive when it comes to my relationships. I’ve been dating my Gemini girlfriend for four years 3s when I’m very good. Like, I’m not stressed. I’m very communicative. So I reach out to friends, I reach out to family, I reach out to loved ones, you name it. I reach out. 1s When I’m really stressed out, I tend to isolate myself because again, like when we’re putting in stressful situations, we’re putting this fight, flight or free state. And lately I’ve been very stressed because I am trying to balance because I moved out last year so I just turned 24. So I’m 24 trying to figure out how to manage bills and stuff. So I’m living on my own. That’s been a stressor grad school, definitely doing like a lot of work in grad school, that’s been a lot of work podcasting, connecting with people. That’s also been like a lot. Even though I really enjoyed it, this really helps me fuel my soul. But I’ve also been dealing with a lot of family stress too. And I’m not going to put my family’s business out there, but it has been very stressful and it’s definitely hard to see people that you really love and people that you really care about just start to go on a downward path. It’s important for us to. 1s To be there for family, obviously, but also set those limitations that’s in order to help ourselves. Because if we’re not setting those boundaries with the people we love and we’re not setting those standards for us, we end up just just being gassed, being tired, being overstressed, drained, exhausted. And that’s something that I’ve been feeling a lot these past couple of weeks. And I have not had a wisdom talk, and I have not really just done the things that I know I need to do for myself in order to make myself happy. 1s And that’s what I mean by like, these are all things in order for us to really grow and learn from these moments in our life, in our lifetime, we have to really take time to reflect, have those good people in our corner that can listen to how we are feeling. Because if you do isolate yourself and you do try and handle everything on your own, it’s a lot to handle. And there has been, there’s just been a lot of stressors. And it’s important for us to recognize those stressors and to recognize how that’s really impacting us. That’s the power of self reflection. So when it comes to this talk here on Wisdom or if you guys are tuning in because I know the number is slowly increasing and stuff, this is the middle of the week checking. This is like, how are you guys feel? Middle of the week? Because I know Wednesday is definitely one of those days. Middle of the week. You’ve had two days of work. It’s like, yes, I’m going to open the floor for you guys as well that are listening. And I’m going to continue to talk about the power of self reflection. But yeah, you guys can check in. How are you feeling? And when it comes to stressors, what do you usually do when you are stressed out? Me like. 1s Again, we’re in flight. Again, when you’re in a very stressful situation, you’re put in a flight, fight or free state and some people, they even dissociate themselves. There’s a guy called I need to pull up his name on my YouTube, but he’s a great person to listen to. His name is like Dr. Gabor Mate or something like that. Don’t quote me exactly, but he talks a lot about how when we’re children, we’re putting this state of fight or flight because we’re stressed out when parents argue and as a child you don’t have the power to change that. Again because we’re human beings. The reason why we’re so anxious all the time is because we’re put in situations where we cannot control the outcome. So for instance, for myself, lately when it comes to my family, 1s I’m not in control of what they do. I’m not in control of what my mother does, my family members do. Like I’m not in control of that. And because I’m not in control of that, it’s causing me to be very stressed out because you’re putting this flight or flight or free state and that’s what it’s been. Lately I have been stressed out because I want to see my loved ones take the right steps and I wanted to see everyone happy because growing up it’s a lot, pretty much. In short summary, other than my grandmother, when it comes to me and my siblings, we really had to raise ourselves when it comes to it. Both of my parents, my mom and dad, both who admit they had me at a young age and they have parted off and they’ve done their own thing and I’ve always had shaky relationships with both of them. So for me it’s important to just re drown myself. It’s important because again, I cannot control 1s what they’re doing. 1s I cannot control that the only thing I can control is myself and I put myself in great positions like I am living on my own and I have not had problems with rent and I have not missed a bill. I make sure when it comes to credit and all that stuff, I’ve seen my family fail that so many times. It’s just a small example. Again, like just re grounding ourselves and really 1s reflecting on ourselves and what is it for ourselves? We need to be able to just reflect. So that way we’re focusing on what we can control and we’re not worried about so many other things that we cannot control. Troll My point is again, that’s where anxiety comes from. It comes from again, 1s we’re in situations where we cannot control. 2s The outcome. Even like from a simple example, like, think about it. Like you go out in public now. Like you’re out in public. You can’t control all the people that are in public. You can only control yourself. Like, let’s say you want to grab a cup of coffee and there’s two people outside that are arguing. Like, that might make some people anxious because it’s like, why are they arguing here in a public setting? But again, if you just focus on what you can control, OK, I’m going to go get that cup of coffee. I’m not going to focus on the two people arguing. You’re able to and that anxiety tends to get lessened and you feel a lot better. You feel grounded. Again, 2s my point is just focusing on the things that we can control is vital. It’s important. And that’s one of the things that lately these past couple of weeks, I have struggled with. And I think it’s important when the host is running like, conversations. And I know this platform, I’ve connected with so many new people. It’s important to be vulnerable and to be honest with yourself. And I know for myself 3s I have not really handled that well lately. My mind has just been on just so many different paths and different avenues. And I know eventually for me to become a future counselor, like mental health counselor, I’m going to have to re establish my boundaries constantly. And it’s important. And it’s not just because I’m going to be a counselor, but it’s just for ourselves, everyone tuning in. We really do have to take those moments to really reflect on herself 1s because it’s vital. We got to realize what things are working and what things aren’t working. So that way we’re not continuing the same mistake, and we’re not making the same mistake over and over and over again, because it’s hard, especially when we have been conditioned and yeah, we’ve been conditioned to operate a certain way for so long. Like, for me, I’m only 24 years old. I can only imagine someone that has been taught and raised a certain way that’s been conditioned for it for 30, 40, 50, 60 plus years. And then trying to change that, there’s going to be moments where we revert back to our old habits that were conditioned to because again, when you’ve been conditioned to do it for so long. 3s It’s huge. So that’s something that I’ve definitely realized last night, because I know the full moon is in SAGITTARIUS. 1s So, like, I don’t know about you guys, but there’s certain full moons. Whenever it’s full moon, something either crazy easy happens or something really productive happens. And today, last night, I will give again, the importance of having people in your corner that really love and understand you is also vital, too. It can be one person. It doesn’t matter. Like, if you just have that one person and shout out to my Gemini girlfriend and also shout out to her Scorpio best friend, shout out to both of them. Because the three of us have always had deep conversations about trauma. We’ve all had our moments where we’re going through something. And just to have those two people to just listen, to be open and just hearing me out, that’s something that I really needed last night. And I just wanted to give a shout out to them, too, because and as you guys are listening and tuning into the conversation, like. 1s For yourself too. Like, who is in your corner? Like, give those guys a thank you or those men, women, whoever, give those people a big warm thank you as well. Because again, like, we need people in our lifetime. Like, we can’t handle everything by ourselves. So last night we had conversations about that because with me, I’m very intuitive and I understand what I need to do 1s just because, again, that’s how I’ve had to raise myself when it comes to understanding my emotions and stuff. So for me, I know the things that I need to do to re ground myself. And for people that are struggling with that, just again, 1s one of the first steps is you have to be able to reflect and admit that you need to change this behavior or something that I’m doing is not right. So that’s what I mean. Again, connecting that power, that’s really one of the first steps is the reflection part. Are you constantly reflecting on the things that you’re doing well and also the things that you’re not doing well? So that way you’re able to understand what is it that you need when you are in high stressful situations or like how your body reacts when you are in stressful situations? So that way you’re able to communicate that to your loved ones. And for me, I’m in that step. In my journey where I grew up in a very traumatic situation, I’ve had to overcome that. And I have put in a lot of work when it comes to reflecting and being able to understand my emotions. But the next step is at times when stuff is very stressful, I got to be able to communicate that to the people that I love because it’s important to do that, especially when you’re in a relationship with somebody. Imagine being in a relationship with somebody that shuts down when things get stressed. Like, you got to be able to communicate what’s going on. So that’s currently the journey that I am on while also taking on grad school and stuff. And I know that I’ll get there and it’s important. But my point of having this first part of the conversation again is it’s the power of self reflection. It’s the power of being mindful and understanding. Like, hey, 1s something has got to change because I continue to do this behavior or lately I’ve been doing the things that I’ve not wanted to do because again, our minds might it’s crazy how we operate as humans. Like, our minds might be telling us something, but because we’re conditioned to do something and we’re used to doing it, our bodies react completely different than what our mind is telling us. 2s Like you can have. And that applies to everything, relationships, anything like. So think of like a consistent habit that you have within yourself that can be eating habits, that can be spending habits, that can be anything for everyone. That’s tuning in in your mind might tell you 1s I should not be eating this right now because I just went to the doctors and I was told that I had X-Y-Z and I should not be eating these types of foods. But I’ve been conditioned to eat a certain way for all my life. This is just an example. Like, I’m not saying this for myself, but this is an example. You’ve been conditioned to eat this way all your life and all your lifetime. So even though your mind is telling you, like, I should not be doing this, your body is still reacting differently. So that’s my point. Again, like, reflecting and being able to recognize, like, hey, this is how I’ve been conditioned. This is how I’ve always handled this situation and understanding the positives and the negatives to that, again, the key of self reflection. We all need to be able to reflect within ourselves things that have gone right, things that have gone wrong. And that’s what’s going to help us grow. That’s one of the first steps to really help us grow. 8s Hi everybody. I just wanted to send you guys a very brief and very special message here. First, I just want to say thank you guys that have followed the show and have rated the show on Spotify and Apple podcast and also on any other listening platform. I appreciate you guys and your support tremendously as a way to give back to the listeners. Tuning into the podcast, I have announced last week that I am starting a giveaway. So the giveaway item is a daily planner where you can set goals and set priorities. And there’s also a special other giveaway item that will not be announced. It’s like a special little gift for everybody. There are three ways to enter to this contest. So the first way, you guys must follow the podcast on all social media platforms. And you can do that by clicking on the Follow or subscribe button on Apple podcasts or Spotify or whatever you listen. The second way is after you follow to rate the podcast on Spotify and Apple podcast. And the third way is to share the podcast to one to two friends, relatives, or whoever about the podcast. If you guys do any of those three things, please just send screenshots to your spiritual bestfriend@gmail.com. And again, all the information will be in the show description. 1s But winners will be announced in mid June. So I hope you guys tune in and please, guys, share the podcast to the people that are around. And who knows, I will announce the winner. And it’s two very lovely items. But for now, this is Josh, your favorite spiritual best friend, signing off. 4s Welcome back, guys. I know the first topic we talked about, the self reflection. The second topic we’re going to really get into like the full moon because the power of self reflection is so important. And I don’t know about you guys that it’s listening here on Wisdom or wherever the audio format on Spotify, Apple podcast, wherever. But for some reason, whenever it’s a full moon, it’s it’s either crazy times, either someone I love does something crazy, or it’s like a powerful, meaningful moon where I’m connecting with people. I don’t know how you guys feel, but whenever it’s the full moon, I feel like this intensity for some of the moons. And last night was one of those moons. I know I mentioned earlier before I recorded and on Wisdom that I do have SAGITTARIUS energy in my chart to share astrology perspective. I am a Taurus, I’m a Taurus Son, 1s and my moon is in Capricorn, my Mercury is in Taurus, my Venus is in Aries, and I have SAGITTARIUS in my Draconic chart. My rising is a Sage. So how I appear to others as a SAGITTARIUS. So I have Sage energy in my chart. So this full moon was in SAGITTARIUS. So obviously my logic is starting to come in now where it’s like, yeah, it definitely makes sense as to why I definitely felt more meaning when it comes to the moon last night. But again, the full moon in SAGITTARIUS. I think this is a good topic we can really talk about for certain full moons. Have you guys ever had moments where. 2s Something has gone on or something crazy is going on because we are one of the things I love about this moon cycle. This full moon cycle is it usually comes on towards the end of a certain sign. So for obviously right now, we are in Gemini, 3s and I know Gemini, Mercury and Retrograde was in Gemini a couple of weeks ago. So we’re slowly transitioning from Gemini being like the air sign, very social to a cancer signing. Cancers are very like home body. They love to have a nice home. They want to make sure everyone’s taken care of. It’s very maternal. It’s a maternal instinct when it comes to cancer energy. So we are transitioning. And a full moon is like that breaking point in each zodiac season where it’s like, yeah, 1s here it comes. And now here’s the transitioning period to the next month. 2s Again, I’m open the floor for everything because I know, like, and I know more people are tuning in. So shout out to you guys that are tuning in. I’m. 2s I’ve talked a lot about self reflection, but now we’re getting into, like, the full moon a little bit. So I’m going to do a little reading based off of again, if you guys are want to share your signs or want to get your own chart read, I’ve done that before on wisdom. But as I am going to give little readings based off of how the full moon has affected each of your signs, 2s even if you’re not a Gemini listening and you want to tune in after I say something, just let me know. But according to the Cosmopolitan.com, I love this website and also Cafe Astrology, shout out to Cafe Astrology. They’re always on it. And if you guys are a continued listener of my podcast, I reference them a lot. It’s great, it’s free, and it’s easy for you guys to check out and learn more about astrology stuff. But this is how the full moon and SAGITTARIUS affected each of your signs. So as I’m saying this again, if it resonates with you, just let me know. So we’re going to start with Aries because Aries is the first sign. So all I can say is, well, again, according to Cosmopolitan, 1s this full moon in SAGITTARIUS. For Aries, this is a time for you to really, truly come into yourself. You’re laying your footprint on the ground and you’re becoming grounded. So this is a moon again where 2s this is a full moon for you to really ground yourself. And I know I did mention I have an Aries Venus. And I definitely think in my relationship, in my current relationship with my girlfriend, because like I mentioned before, when I am very stressed, 2s I tend to isolate myself because I freeze when I’m anxious. I’m not a fight. I’m not a flight. I don’t run away. And I also don’t fight. I kind of just freeze and stand still. And that’s not definitely has moments of not being good because I over analyze things a lot. So yeah, for me, this was a great full moon to re establish what hasn’t been working in my relationship and what needs to happen moving forward, not only with my current partner, but also with myself. So I completely resonate when it comes to the Aries chart again. And you might have any of these signs in different aspects of your chart. So just remind it’s a good reminder for yourself too. Like, oh, just because your sun sign might not be in Aries, you might have Aries in other aspects of your chart. That’s what I’m trying to say. But for Taurus is I am a Taurus. So here we go. You’re thinking deeply about how to share yourself as well as the resources you have to offer with others. Recognizing that you bring a lot to the table will give you the confidence necessary to achieve your goals. So this is an important time. Again, similar to Aries, SAGITTARIUS moon for Tauruses is to re ground yourself? Recognize your own self worth? What you can bring to the table. 2s And what are some ways to really help yourself become successful. So this is like a self reflection moon for both Aries and tourists. For Gemini, since it is the Gemini season, 1s if you had this is a moment for Gemini is where if you’ve had a weird relationship, this is the important time for you again to assess whatever is going on in your relationships. Empathize with friends that are going through tough times. This is pretty accurate. Holy crap. And it’s important you hold your space to your boundary. So this is a moment for you. Because Gemini, they can be cold at times because they are an air sign. And air signs. Think about air signs. Like the air can be everyone breathes it, but air can be cold. Air can be hot, but we all breathe it. So with Gemini, it can be cold. And this has been a moment where, like, maybe things have been something you have been cold on people that have been close to you. This is important time for you guys to really, if you’re in an unnecessary relationship, get out of it. Move on with it. If you are in a relationship where someone is draining your energy, get out of that. But with the people you do care about, it’s important for you to empathize with them and show compassion because there are moments where it’s a lot to handle. And my girlfriend is a Gemini and we had a great conversation last night. So 1s I think it’s pretty spot on so far. I think they’re onto something. All right. So for cancers, because I know again, it’s going to be cancer season next week. So this is like the transition we’re leaving from Gemini energy and we’re getting into cancer energy. So for you guys, to some extent, you’re the star of this full moon transit. It looks like you’re in a position that requires you to start checking in on your shadow self if you’re neglecting any parts of your body or experiencing any frustrating headaches. The full moon in SAGITTARIUS last night, this is. 1s This is the full moon for you guys to really speak up and be honest. Like what’s going on within your bodies? Like there’s a famous saying, closed mouths don’t get fed. So it’s important to open your mouth and communicate your needs. So for cancer, this is an important, important time for you guys. Again, similar to Aries and tourists, is to reflect within yourself, like what’s going on and how can you communicate your needs? The next sign, Leo. So Leo is again very proud, Leo the lion. 3s This is a time for you guys where family is going to be important. Again, as I’m reading this, so it says in the past, it’s possible you were subconsciously taught to keep your family life privately. Understandably you don’t want everything out and in the open. Keep in mind that there are benefits to showing a willingness to be proud of your achievements. If you have a creative project you’re particularly proud of, 2s this is an important time again to look back on your work. So for Leos, 1s again, similar to the other signs, this full moon in SAGITTARIUS is like a reflection for everybody, but it’s in different ways. So for Leo, this is a time for you to reflect on your accomplishments. 1s What has really been going on, like what have you been doing these past couple of months that you should be proud of? This is a really good moment for Leo again to really build up their confidence and reflect on what really has been working and what has been proud and to be open when it comes to sharing family private life. For Virgos. 2s As you shine within your professional life, you’re feeling frustrations pertaining to your home life. The transit suggest your work is leading to feelings of discomfort within your community. Are you wishing for someone who will speak up for your needs? It’s normal to want someone to stand up for you, especially when you’re so willingly show up for your loved ones. The Virgos Again, this is a full moon for you to really assess what your needs are and it’s important for you to meet those needs. Virgos. I will say this because I have a lot of friends that are Virgo. A lot of the Virgos, a lot of my best teachers have been Virgos Virgos when it comes to teaching, Virgos love to be teachers. I don’t know why that is, but just based off of my experience and everything, like with that though, you got to be able to assess your needs and your wants. So it’s important again for you Virgos to really communicate that this is a full moon for you guys to really figure them out and meet them. For Libras, Libras are like the social balance scale. With the full moon in your house of expression and communication, it’s time for you to put the knowledge to work. No more holding your tongue to for the comfort of others. This is important again like to embrace your love and to open up, be honest and to put all those times where you have been the negotiator. Now is the time for you to really assert yourself and put yourself out there for the greater good. Obviously it’s got to be better. It’s got to be for the common good. Because Libras, again, they love that balance scale. So it’s important again to there’s times when you need to listen more and speak less. And now this is a time where you need to speak more and listen less. If you get what I’m saying, you know what I mean? It’s like the opposite. It’s like that balance scale for Scorpios. Again, this full moon isn’t SAGITTARIUS and I know more people are tuning in 1s for everyone just tuning in. Again, we’ve had a lot of deep conversation and if you guys ever want to contribute to any of this conversation, more than welcome too. For Scorpios, this is a time again, this is a time I’m trying to read this and puzzle this a little bit. For Scorpios, this is a time where like money again, anything that’s feeling tempting right now. Because if you are Scorpio, anything that you’re experiencing, that’s very tempting right now, whether that’s through money or like or for 1s any obligations you have. This is important for you guys to. 2s Reflect on that feeling and really assess yourself. Is this something that I really need to pursue? Do I need to pursue this sexual relationship right now? Do I need to pursue this financial stuff? Really need to pursue that right now? Because it is a lot of money. So this is important time for you guys. Whatever is tempting inside, 2s think logically. Is this something that I really need to do right now? Is this something that I really need to pursue? And it’s funny, because last night, me, my girlfriend, and her best friend is a Scorpio. We talked about one of her feelings and temptations last night, and we were like, do you really need to do that? 1s It’s just crazy how the universe works sometimes. So I just want to give a shout out again because I’m a tourist. I have a lot of Scorpio friends, so it’s important. Sagittarius. So this is your moon again. Sagittarius. Your moon. Full moons. And SAGITTARIUS. So this is a time again. And then the cosmopolitan, they said, oh, I hate to be rude, but this is a time you got to get real with your feelings. How does intellectualizing your emotions help you understand them? With the sun and Gemini right now, you’re being called to be more mindful of your close relationships. If you feel like someone in your inner circle doesn’t actually have love for you, why not trust the vibe? Don’t rush to call off any friends. Unfortunately, again, because Gemini again, it’s flip flopping and all that stuff. So this is a time for SAGITTARIUS again to really trust your first thoughts and stick with them. So if you have that gut feeling about something, now is the time for you to really follow that gut feeling. So that’s pretty much when it comes to SAGITTARIUS again. 2s Listen to yourself. 1s Is this something that you really need? What is going on? Because again, like our bodies and our minds, we react to certain things for a reason. So it’s important for us to reassess that Capricorn. This is how the full moon and SAGITTARIUS is affecting you right now. Whatever previously lived rent free in the back of your mind is finally being evicted. Sorry. Try not to be too frightened when you see everything that makes an appearance. Turns out what you picked up from your daily life has the power to remain in your head. This full moon is for clearing out any metaphorical demons or fix, or just like anything that’s causing you doubt. So right now, Capricorn is again, similar to a lot of the other signs. Sagittarius. 1s It’s like an adventurous, free loving type of energy, but can be very blunt and cold, too. Don’t get me wrong, SAGITTARIUS is can with that, though, this is a time, again, you really got to assess what is going on in your head that’s really stressing you out. This is, again, a very self reflecting moon, Capricorn, and my moon is in Capricorn. So how I process things emotionally. Yeah, definitely. That’s why I completely understand why this moon last night and those conversations I had last night was very good for me. It’s very self reflective. And that led me to having this wisdom talk today like the power of self reflection. And I am a Capricorn, and it makes sense as to why I really had to assess what is really going on in my head. 1s Yeah, it’s crazy. It’s crazy how accurate this stuff can really be. 1s And I think it’s important to connect the two. Spirituality and astrology. It’s beautiful. We need to be open to do this more Aquariuses. So this is how the full moon in SAGITTARIUS is affecting you guys right now. And this is interesting because I have a couple Aquarius is in my family. 1s Give yourself room to play with those around you. Aquarius the idea of work can inherently be exhausting. Mind your language and reprogram your narrative. Creativity flows freely when you let yourself be. If you feel compelled to exist, examine your mindset and how it influences how you function. Now is a great time to do so. In some ways, you’re blocking your blessings. Clear that block. So right now, for Aquariuses, again, this is a time for you guys to really assess yourselves. What is working, what is not working. Because in order for us to be our real, true selves, we need to be able to take time to reflect that. And that’s what this full moon is showing. And for the last time, PISCES Gemini season has clearly laid a weighed in on your home life, helping you realize and reflect on how your personal spaces influences your career. Expect hidden observations pertaining to finances and values to come into the light. Don’t worry, you can benefit from this far more than you expect. Being unnecessarily Brady won’t get you too far. So consider the Hills you’re willing to die on. So similar to, like, Cancers, and a little bit too. This is a full moon for you, PISCES. Again, to establish your home life. What is really going on? Observe everything that is happening and reflect on that. 1s Like, are you going to benefit from doing the things that you need to do financially, emotionally, all that stuff? Personal space is important. Like our people invading your personal space. These are all questions for you guys that are PISCES to answer. Answer. So pretty much when it comes to the full moon talk, I pretty much just gave a ran down of everyone’s sign and how that affects us. And it’s important. Again, I mentioned before 2s just because 3s when it comes to astrology, my point is, again, there’s so many different aspects in different parts of our charts. So just because you might be your sun sign might be one thing, but your Venus and your moon might be completely other things. So you might resonate with multiple things that I’m saying here. For some people, you might not resonate. Well, you said for areas you’re supposed to feel this way, but I’m not. Again, when it comes to the chart, there are different aspects to your chart. And honestly, I can get into a whole ramble about how there’s like three different charts that I know and how there’s one chart based off of life experiences that changes, changes you. So as you grow, parts of your chart change. So you might have resonated with something years back, but you don’t resonate with it now. That’s the point that I’m trying to say is. The point that I’m trying to say is pretty much like. 3s I do these readings again just as like, 1s just as like a way for us to really just help understand ourselves, you know? And you might be feeling this way. The full moon was in SAGITTARIUS last night, and pretty much my grandson memory for all of it is just 1s a great time for us to really assess ourselves and how we’re really feeling, what we’re really going through, what’s going right, what’s going wrong in all aspects of our life, relationships, family, ourselves. So, yeah, I definitely think it’s important again. And I love having these conversations. I love when the full moon comes because usually something crazy happens. 16s Hey, everybody. And thank you guys for tuning into this podcast again before we wrap everything up. I know we talked a lot about the SAGITTARIUS full moon and how it affects your sign, and we also talked a lot about self reflection and the power of it. And I just want you guys, again, to understand everyone listening to this podcast. 2s We all have to have moments to reflect on ourselves, because if we’re not taking the time to do that, then we’re just going to continue the same cycle of mistake after mistake after mistake. It’s important for us to understand that some of the behaviors we are learned at a young age, we are conditioned and wired to do that. And it’s important for us to be mindful and to understand when these moments happen. So that way we’re able to grow and learn and understand 1s our own behaviors and understand our own patterns. But overall, I really appreciate everyone tuning in for the giveaway again. I’m going to announce the winner 1s in the next either podcast or two, but I’ll let you guys know after next podcast, but stay tuned for that. And I appreciate you guys again. But for now, again, like I said, check out Spotify Apple podcasts, like rate all that fun stuff to enter for giveaway and stuff. But I hope you guys have a wonderful day. And this is Josh signing off. 

Summary

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast! Today’s episode talks about the story of Meagan O’Nan. Meagan shares her journey from growing up in a catholic old school household and her struggles being part of the LGBTQ+ community and opening up about that in her environment. Meagan also talks about the secrets of writing her books and being a vulnerable storyteller. You can check out all of Meagan’s books and videos by clicking on her links below! 

Like always, guys, please like, rate, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify! We now have only two weeks until the winner of the first giveaway is announced, so please, guys, enter and reach out. If you guys are interested here are the details to enter! 

GIVEAWAY ANNOUNCEMENT The first-ever giveaway for the podcast is a self-reflection book. To be eligible for the item, you must do the following.

1. Follow the podcast on all social media platforms that you have.

2. Follow and Rate the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast

3. Share the podcast with 1-2 people. It can be anyone! You can send all the information to my email address Yourspiritualbestfriend@gmail.com Mid-June will announce the Winners!

Meagan’s Website 

https://www.meaganonan.com/

Meagan’s Books 

https://www.meaganonan.com/shop — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

Hey, everybody, and welcome to your spiritual best friend. I am your host, Josh Sanchez, and I’m here with a very special guest, Megan. Megan, what’s going on and what are you doing today? Thanks for having me. Well, I just filled out a NATO chart report for you, and I’m really interested to see where that’s going to take us. So, yeah, just excited to have a conversation today. 1s Of course. And I will say again, Megan, thank you for being patient and filling out the Natal charts and stuff for our podcast listeners. I always have my guests fill out their Natal charts. That way we can discuss astrology a little bit at the end. But the website is Cafe Astrology, so if you guys are ever interested to learn more about your chart and stuff, it’s all fun and it’s free, so it’s perfect. I just want to give a little shout out before we really get into it. But Megan, I wanted to say again, thank you for coming on, reaching out, wanting to be on this podcast and pretty much when it comes to this podcast overall, I really like to start to guess with just a simple question. So when it comes to work and passions and stuff like that, what do you like to do for work and what are you really passionate about? Oh, that’s a great question. It’s a good way to get to know someone, too. 2s I’ve been a writer and speaker and coach for 14 years now. I’m. 1s In the middle of finishing up my third book and kind of deep in the revision process. So I’m really passionate about writing, and I’m also a speech coach, so I work with professional speakers and write scripts, get them ready for the stage, do all the aspects of speaker coaching, and then also do keynote speaking of my own. So my books and my speaking are kind of the same message around the message of the power of vulnerable storytelling and how that plays such an important role in connecting with others. So those are storytelling, vulnerable storytelling, writing, speaking, those are my passions. They’re my profession. It’s what I do each and every day, and I feel very fortunate to get to do each one of those 2s well, Megan, I will say 1s I really like what you’re doing. It’s definitely great and it definitely can be powerful. I know you mentioned a lot about vulnerable speaking and stuff and being able to share and open up your own story and how that’s able to connect others and bring others together. I definitely think that’s a really good and I think more people need to do that because we’re human at the end of the day and we’re able to connect with each other if we’re able to open up each other. And that just leads me right to my next question. So I know you mentioned like, you’ve written a couple of books. You’re on your third book. Now tell me the thought process, because I know each book. 1s Has, like, a vision or has, like, a story behind it. So if you can tell me, like, what really goes through your head when you are writing the books, like between the first, second and third one. Oh, gosh. Well, the first one was in 2008, and it was called Creating Your Heaven on Earth. And I was actually in a really bad relationship when I wrote that book. So I feel like it was like my calling out to God, the universe, whatever you want to call it. I wanted happiness so bad that I was writing about what I wanted. And eventually it got me out of that relationship. So that was really more of a deep belief in what I knew was true and like a calling out and trying to call it into my life. So that was the first one. The next one was called Courage. Agreeing to disagree is not enough. And I think that might be more applicable now with the time we’re in. But at the time, it was around when LGBTQ marriage rights, gay marriage rights, that was the hot topic, the discussion. It was the year that I got married, and I was just really tired of the 1s back and forth, the debating the you’re right, I’m wrong, you’re wrong, I’m right, whatever. I was really sick of that back and forth. And so that was more of a calling out, too. Like, I don’t want to be in this space. This is who I want to be. And so I wrote it from this place of not only sharing my story and telling my story of coming out in Mississippi, but also as an invitation to others. Like, hey, we can have a conversation and not argue about the things that we might disagree on, but we can get to know each other still as human beings. And so that was a calling out as well. So this one, the one I’m writing now is called Held and Free, and it’s a memoir, and it’s really based around the power storage sell, Helen, like I was talking about earlier. And so for me, this is just an opportunity to share every single part of my story up until now and how I’ve evolved from this very insecure person in the world who wanted wholeness and happiness and all of the things it took to get to a place where I feel like I have a really strong foundation as a human being now. And so this is more or less kind of a letting go. For me, this book is just an opportunity to write it all down and own it and just keep moving forward. So each has had its own special moment for me, and it’s interesting. They’ve all been written. It seems like I write a book every seven years. So. 4s That’s really cool, Megan. And I will say because I always like to ask that question, especially with writers, because there’s definitely like a vision. There’s something that’s like inspiring you to write down these thoughts and write down like stories so that way people can read it and learn something new. And I can only imagine for you growing up in Mississippi, especially, like the culture down there can be very old school white man Christian for me, I grew up Catholics. It was a lot of just like strict standards. So I completely as I was hearing your story, I know you reached out to me. I definitely resonate in many aspects when it comes to that. But for you, I know you mentioned in your latest answer, like one of your books, you really had to open up and be able to let go because I know you mentioned you had a lot of insecurities growing up and stuff. And my next question, just building off of that, like how are you able to overcome your own insecurities growing up in Mississippi, obviously, and being able to open up and really take that next step to help grow within yourself? That’s a great question. And it really my insecurities. I was raised Catholic, too. And so a lot of my insecurities growing up were just not feeling like a fit in to that view of God and just being really uncomfortable, but not sure what to do about it because I wasn’t exposed to anything different. I mean, the other alternative was to go to a Baptist Church. And while that was very different, the mindset was similar in a way. And so there wasn’t an outlet outside of Christianity for me to even explore, to even know that there was something more. And so I didn’t come out of the closet until my senior year in College. And I was a two sport athlete at Mississippi State. And it was a very traumatic experience where my spiritual community was basically just completely judged me and pushed me out. And then I had a hard time with my family. And so that was really the defining moment for me where it was like, okay, I don’t fit into any of the boxes here. First of all, I’m not straight. 1s This Christian thing isn’t working for me because everyone’s telling me I’m going to hell and I’m not worthy, that I’m less than. And so there was all of these messages that pushed me out of Mississippi. And I ended up leaving for a long time so that I could find some source of self worth through understanding what I believed and also finding a way to be okay with who I am as a gay woman. And so it took that length of time of being gone before deciding to come back and come back to Mississippi 1s and have been back here for twelve years. So a lot of my own insecurities and self worth were giving myself some space. 1s To identify what those were and like, wrap my head around like, okay, who am I? And then coming back here and actually putting those ideals and beliefs into action, which 1s has been a really hard journey because it meant being very open about who I am because I didn’t want to hide behind closed doors anymore. And so simple things like this is my wife or this is my partner. We’re hard to say. And so like those little winds constantly and just constantly exposing myself and sharing my story throughout the years in the media, on stages, in the news and in conversations with Catholic priests and Baptist ministers and just there have been so many things that have happened over the last twelve years that have helped me kind of get to this place where I feel like, okay, this is who I am. I’m okay. And I feel like a whole person now. And I’m grateful for my life every single day. But it took all those little baby steps over the years of just constantly letting myself be seen and showing up and then tell people all the time, it’s hard. Every time I do it, it’s still hard. But over the course of time they got easier. And that’s what built my confidence and helped me get out of my insecurities. And that’s why I’m so passionate about storytelling because without sharing my story, I would not be where I am today. 2s Yeah, definitely, Megan. And I want to say again, firstly, like, just power to you for recognizing within yourself. Like, hey, I need to take a step back, and I really need to find myself in this society, because I can only imagine you grow up and you’re taught certain things. You’re taught a certain way, and you’re not resonating to what you’re being taught. There’s something inside of you, like you’re not really like your whole self. Yeah. So power to you for taking those steps to take on something new, find yourself in this society. And then I can only imagine coming back to Mississippi after you took time to really find yourself. I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you to go back into the same community that once disowned you. Pretty much. 1s I can only imagine how hard that must have been on you. So I wanted to just really just give you a shout out for that as well, because I know a lot of people in society. 1s We’re born, we’re raised in a certain culture or environment that might not resonate to us. And it’s important for us to recognize that and to take the step and to move on from that. So that way we can really be our real self. Yes. And find out who that is. I don’t think it would have been possible for me to really identify those things if I had not gotten outside of the pressure, the constant pressure of a certain way of thinking. So it was absolutely key to moving forward for me. I mean, I’m glad I came back. I didn’t want to come back initially. It was one of those things, like, I felt called to come back because I didn’t know. But there was so much more healing for me to do and so much more work for me to do in myself and in my relationships with my family members 2s in Mississippi. And there was just so much ahead that was calling me forward. And I didn’t want to do it, but I was like, I have to do it. It’s one of those moments, you know, you have to do it. You’re not quite sure why. You know, you don’t want to, but you know, you have to. 3s Yeah, definitely. Megan and I did listen to one of your talks, like, over the past couple of weeks, and I know you mentioned something about how like it’s all like it all comes full circle. You start off in the community where they were like a lot of, like, disownment and stuff. You really feel like yourself. You took time, you found yourself, and then you had, like you said, like that spiritual calling to come back, to come back, and it kind of comes like all full circle. That leads me right to my next question. I know you mentioned a lot about effective storytelling for you. How does someone become really like an effective storyteller based off of your experience? Well, for me, I really focus on personal narrative. So when I’m working with 1s a professional speaker or if I’m going to be speaking, I focus on a personal story for that person. So telling other stories about other people can be effective. Don’t get me wrong on that, but I think the most effective form of change is telling personal stories because it’s healing for the speaker and it’s healing for the people who are listening. And for me, the most important piece of a good story is that vulnerability aspect, that authenticity aspect. That point of reference gets hit because without it, I feel like we’re missing that emotional connection with each other that actually transforms the way we see each other. So to me, if you’re missing that piece, then you’re missing the whole point of connection. So that’s what I preach, and that’s what I teach people, is how to tell a story effectively, using vulnerability as a tool to not only connect yourself, but to connect to the people you’re telling the story to. 3s Yeah, definitely. Megan and I definitely agree. Like, that vulnerability aspect again, like we mentioned a little bit before, like, it really brings us all together. Like, we’re all human. We all have like a human. We all have a story to tell. Like, we all have, like, moments in our lives. We have experienced events. Like anxiety is so common. It’s in all of us. Absolutely. Some people recognize, some people don’t. So I think it’s important for us to recognize moments where we are feeling that way. Yeah. But just like continuing our conversation so far, I really just wanted to appreciate you obviously sharing your story, like, your journey a little bit. And this leads me right to my next question. So when it comes to advice, let’s say someone is struggling with opening themselves or struggling to really find themselves, 1s what’s the advice that you would give to them to really just help them open up and find themselves? That’s a really good question. 1s The one thing that I did and I can only speak to my experience. 1s I know there are millions of other ways to do this, but for me, what I did was I was constantly journaling and I was constantly letting myself express myself in that way. And that allowed me to kind of see what was inside of me and what was I feeling and what was I thinking. And that was the one tool that has been consistent for me over the course of all the years that has allowed me to really just dig into what I’m actually feeling. And also, I have a really amazing wife who surrounding yourself with people who support you and see you and aren’t going to judge you and let you just feel your feelings. If I’m going through something and I need to cry, I can cry in front of her. And it’s really important to have someone to do that with, even if it’s a counselor to someone you trust so that you can open yourself up and see what’s really going on. Because I think if you’re not experiencing whatever emotions you’re having, the true emotions of what they are, it’s hard to really see clearly on what you’re dealing with. So those are the two things that have been super helpful for me. But like I said, some people like to exercise, to kind of get a sense of feeling what’s going on inside. Some people like to meditate, some kind of pause of some kind where you can just sit there and let it bubble up. And we often avoid that with busyness and social media and all of that kind of stuff. But 1s taking that moment to pause, no matter the tool you’re using is. 2s I feel like the only way to do it. 1s Yeah, I completely agree. I completely agree, Megan, as well, like taking, finding those things, you know, that can really help us ground ourselves and, like, stay in, like, the present moment and really assess how are we really feeling today, like what’s going on in our body. Like you mentioned, I just wanted to add the term like grounding. I hear that a lot when it comes to because I’ve interviewed some people with meditation 1s because I’m currently in grad school. So, like, a lot of my classes, they talked a lot about this term of just grounding yourself because as you’re experiencing work, as you’re traveling, as you’re raising a family, whatever you’re doing, there’s so many things that really just go on throughout the day that we’re processing. So taking moments to really just ground ourselves and to really just help us just hit that reset button. So that way we’re able to recharge our batteries inside and we’re able to help others and continue to do what we do. So I think that was a really spot on answer. Well, what do you do? I’m just curious. What do you do when you need a car? Oh, yeah. For me, 1s I mix it up. So sometimes I’ll run because I like to connect with nature. So I’ll run outside and I like to run, especially, like in local parks. I like to choose, like, a different park each time where I run and then after, I like to Journal as well. Okay. Yeah. I found journaling to be really helpful for me 1s because it’s all in how we experience our lifetime, what we experience. And for me, similar to you, like, when I’m writing stuff down, I’m able to express my inner feelings, like how I really feel because there’s been times where I have wanted to speak my mind, but I kept it inside because of resentment or all that stuff too stuff down. It really helped me just get it out. So that way I’m not suppressing my emotions and then taking it out on other people that don’t deserve that. It’s easy to do. 2s Yeah. 1s Thank you. I appreciate that as well. And like I said, this conversation has been really great so far, very free flowing and just transition a little bit. I know you mentioned that you are in very good relationship now. I know you also mentioned that, like, you were in a relationship in the past that was a little bit questionable and stuff. Relationships obviously a big part of our lives. You know, we feed off of the people that we surround ourselves with. We’re all energy. We feed off each other’s energy. What qualities do you really look for in, like, a friendship or even like a romantic partner? 2s Trust is definitely at the top for me. It’s like I completely 1 million% do not 1s question my wife. I know she trusts me and I trust her. And that’s it. It is the foundation of what we’ve been together 14 years, and it is the foundation of what has kept us as strong as we are today. Not to say that we haven’t gone through hard times, we have. But that foundation of trust allows us to reflect back that there may be some more inner work that we need to do when we have an issue come up or whatever it may be. So that’s number one. 2s Let’s see. The other one is like when it comes to friendships, I would say, or any 1s relationship, even if it were my wife or past relationship or whatever. I think the one thing that I would was missing before I met my wife was just like I was giving more than I was being given to. And in the same way in friendships that I’m not going to overdo if I’m not being met halfway, 5s there’s something that goes off in me when I feel like it’s not an equal partnership, relationship, friendship, where I take a step back and or communicate to the other person, like, this isn’t working for me, you know, what’s going on or, you know, then have that tough conversation. So those are two important ones. Is the trust and then 1s am I putting in more or is it an equal, you know, energy exchange? I guess I should say I think those are the two most important to me. And well, obviously communication, but I think communication is embedded in the second one. 2s Yeah, I completely agree. Again, especially like when it comes to trust. Like if you’re not trust, if you don’t have trust in your relationship, your relationship is not going to work because instead of you, you’re not going to be able to really focus on what you need to do because you’re so focused on your other partner and what they’re doing and all that stuff, too, because that trust is not there. So I think trust is definitely an important one, and even the second one, too, when it comes to are you putting out the same energy you’re receiving? Because a relationship should be both partners are both taking moments where they’re giving and they’re also taking moments where their partner needs them. Again, we’re in a relationship, we need to be able to work together and grow together. So I completely agree and resonate with both of your qualities when it comes to that, because I think it’s important a lot of people. I think realizing when there is not trust in a relationship is something that can be very hard because especially you’re with someone, you have a lot of feelings that are inside you’re experiencing with this person. And then all of a sudden there’s moments where you’re worried about what they’re doing or worried about doing this and worried about doing that. And I think identifying that is something that I know in my relationships in the past, I’ve had trouble identifying that. 2s Like you said, just the trust aspect is huge. Well, and a big part of that trust is being able to express yourself and knowing that it will be received. And if you can’t say anything that’s on your heart in a relationship, then it may not be the right person because you should be able to say whatever’s on your heart and be accepted and loved for it, and they should be able to do the same. It’s like if my wife is annoying one day and she’s getting on my nerves, like, hey, you’re getting on my nerves. I’m going to go take some space. You should be able to say that and that be okay. There should be a level of acceptance and trust. She knows I love her dearly and it’s nothing about her. It just means I need some space and I need some time away. And there’s so much power. And being able to just express and you don’t have to be mean. 1s You can just say it with absolute like, hey, you’re just really bothering me right now. And I know that means I need some space and just that freedom to express yourself and be open and honest. It’s so important. If you keep holding things in, then that’s where you get into trouble. 2s Yes, I completely agree. It’s like I like to view it as like it’s like a snowball effect. Like, the more stuff you keep inside, the snowball gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and eventually it crashes and somebody is going to get hurt at some point. Oh, I know, definitely. 2s But yeah. So Megan, just continuing our relationship question, this question I always ask my guests that, come on, this it’s a little less serious question. 1s The question pretty much is like, do you have any turn off on the first date where you would not have a second date? So let’s say you’re on a date with somebody and they do this and you wouldn’t have a second date. As you think about it, for me, I always like to share this to my guests. I used to have a little test because music for me is very like it’s like my love language pretty much. If I can connect through music, definitely, you can see a more open up with me. And so something about the music, I don’t know what it is, but that was like my little test. I would hand the people I’m on a date with the aux score. I wouldn’t say anything. I just like, here’s the aux cord. And depending on what they play, was my little test. Was it a little toxic? Probably. 2s But for you, Megan, when it comes to turn offs and stuff, do you have any test or anything like that? 1s I haven’t dated in 14 years, so I’m a little far removed from that. But I can imagine 1s when I’m meeting new people for friendships or whatever. I mean, that’s really the gauge I have to go off right now would be like, are they only focusing on me in my story or are they sharing themselves, too? Is there an exchange of communication where we’re both being open? And to me, that’s what resonates the most. And if they’re not wanting to be open with me at all about after, I’ve been very open and 1s it’s not a fulfilling thing for me. It’s like I want that exchange of like, I want to give and I want you to give. And so it’s a little bit harder for me to want to build a friendship with someone if they’re so closed off that they don’t want to share a little bit of their life with me. I really like to engage in meaningful relationships. 2s Yeah. And I completely agree with that as well. When you are having conversations with people, especially unlike the first couple of instances where you’re meeting them, like, are you guys vibing? Well, you know, like, is the person being able to open up with themselves? And also, like, are you doing that the same? And is there, like this equal, like, you mentioned energy exchange between the two. So I think it’s important at the end of the day when you do meet new people and you are meeting new people 1s to really recognize that, are they comfortable with opening up to you as well? Because if they’re not closed off, that can be definitely hard to really connect with that person. Yeah. And it just depends on what you’re looking for. If I was looking for someone to go play basketball with me or do sports stuff with me, I may not care as much. If I just want an activities based friendship, I’m cool with that. But if I’m really looking for, like a friend, there’s going to be different qualities that I’m looking for. I don’t have to have a deep, meaningful relationship with everyone that’s in my life. But I do want to have someone of those because they’re super important for change and growth and being pushed and all that kind of stuff. But I’m cool having people in my life that that’s not the case. And we can go and do stuff together and hang out and. 3s Anyway. 1s Yeah, definitely, Megan. And I will say, like, again, this is definitely something to really look for and it’s really good to have when you first are like meeting new people and stuff, but just transitioning a little bit. I know we talk talked a lot about relationships and your journey, and I’ve really appreciated our conversation so far. It’s been great and I’ve really enjoyed it when it comes to astrology. I know you mentioned before we recorded, like, that your relationship with astrology is a pretty solid one, but that’s like my first question to you is like, how do you feel about astrology overall and what’s your overall relationship with it? I would say it’s a very surface relationship. I’m knowledgeable enough, but not knowledgeable enough to know what I’m talking about. Like, you can talk to me about things and I’ll probably understand, like, I was telling you earlier that when our daughter was born, we had her chart read and with an astrologist who gave us this hour and a half long session of telling us about our daughter. And she was so spot on. And so I’m completely open and 1 million% believe in astrology and it’s power. It’s just not something I’ve ever been passionate enough to dive into myself more. But I completely fascinated. So. 2s So like, when it comes to your chart, I know I mentioned a little bit about how your sun sign and your Mercury sign are in the same house, and that makes sense when it comes to your chart because you are a Libra son and then your Mercury is Libra. So Mercury’s line of communication, and obviously your sun sign is who you are to your core. So being a library, the library is like the balance scale. So that’s like what the sign looks like and all that stuff. So I can picture finding that balance and everything when it comes to relationships and all that stuff. I know we just talked about like relationships and having that equal energy, 2s it makes sense how the Libra qualities are coming out of you when you are describing communication aspect and relationships and all that stuff. 1s But when it comes to astrology, overall, I know you’ve had your chart read as well. Has there ever been like an eye popping moment or as you were getting your chart read that really stood out to you or anything like that? No, I’ve always just been very aware that balances and communication are very important to me. And so that’s been helpful because it helps me realize that’s who I am, this is how I made this is important to me and it’s okay that it’s important to me. So I think more than anything, I think things like this just help you really feel validated and it helps you accept who you are more. So such a valuable tool for anyone to feel validated and feel like, okay, this is who I am. I’m okay. 2s Those things are important to me and I can keep paying attention to that. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I always like to add just to add to your point, like astrology, I always like to view it as like another tool in the toolbox to really help understand ourselves. Like you said, as you’re hearing like your chart getting red and as you’re learning more, like it’s starting to value would date like, hey, I have had moments where I felt this way or I need to feel this way. I completely agree. But before we wrap up though, the last thing I always like to add my guest on, the reason why I asked for all my guests chart is just because there’s this website called the Horoscope Co. It’s a good little website where if you’re curious to know a little bit about on a basic level about your chart, I’m a bunch of people. They teamed up and they do little readings based off of just your sun and moon, your son and moon sign. So your sun sign, obviously who you are to your core, your moon sign is how you process things emotionally. 1s But for you, Megan, as I give your little reading, just let me know how you feel about it. So for you, Megan, you are a Libra Sun Virgo moon and it says a creative personality. Idealistic but logical, these people are capable of producing real change in the world. Positives for your Libra Sun Virgo moon combination expressive, gentle and dynamic negatives can be a little bit manipulative at times and can have a little bit of like a victimization perfect partner, someone who will help them move past difficult life situations. And word of advice, it’s essential for them to try and relax more. So as I give your positives, negatives, perfect partner and advice, what are some thoughts that come to mind? Let’s go back to the first one. Let’s start with each one and go one by one because I can’t retain information, 1s get something. So it was the first one? Yeah. So for positives it was like expressive, gentle and dynamic. Yeah, I would say very expressive. Like I need to communicate what I’m feeling and thinking dynamic. I can fit into any situation and be okay. Like I am an introvert, but I can be a chameleon. And the other one was what was the other one. 1s So the third one was gentle. Yes. I would say most people, 2s when they’re talking about me, that’s the word they use is calm and gentle. 2s So those are right on. All right. So the weaknesses were manipulative 2s and it can be a little bit victimizing at times. Yeah, I could see that, especially based on 2s how I was raised, too. 3s My grandmother had a very victimy way of seeing the world, and so I’ve worked really hard to not do that. And realizing that I’m completely in charge of my life. 3s And the manipulative part, I don’t really know that would have to take someone who knows me better. I don’t know idea. I’ve never been called manipulative, but I’m a good negotiator, so I can use those skills for sure. I’m a businesswoman, so maybe that’s where I use those. I don’t know. Yes, that’s probably where because you got to do business. It’s all good, though. Again. And another point I like to add to is, like, as you grow older, obviously with astrology, parts of your chart change, 1s there’s like two completely other different charts. But for this podcast, I like to just stay on just like the basic level. No, that’s great. 2s Some qualities you might resonate more now, but some qualities you’re like. I don’t really see this now, but as you grow older, as you experience more things, as you obviously grow in this society, 1s certain aspects of your chart change. Yeah, for sure. No doubt. And so the perfect partner was the next one. And that was someone that 1s I can feel like I can go through the hard challenges and push me to grow and all. Yeah, absolutely. That explains my wife. Exactly. I was in such a bad place when I met her, and it’s it’s almost like she grabbed me out of the hole I was in and pulled me forward into the life I wanted. So she is absolutely that’s. Perfect. And then the last one is like advice. So like advice for your sun and moon combination. It says it’s essential for them to try and relax more. Oh, yeah, definitely. I’m a go getter. I’m like, you know, I am much better when I’m pausing and taking a break and allowing myself to actually go into my creative space and relax. So I completely agree with that. Yeah, definitely. And again, Megan, once we are done with our recording and stuff, I can send you that link as well because it gives like a more in depth reading. But just from a little gloss and summary, that’s pretty much what it was. Yeah, that’s cool for reading and stuff. But Megan, I will say I’ve really enjoyed our podcast. It’s been a really great conversation. Where can everybody best check your work at? Everything pretty much lives on my website@meganoann.com meaganonan.com. You can find pretty much anything you want to know there. So it’s got links to all my social and my books and some speaking engagements and my work and all that stuff. I’ve got a blog on there that I post maybe once a month. 2s Except right now I’m not posting anything because I’m writing a book. So don’t expect anything soon. 2s Yes, I got you, Megan. And the link that you just said will be in the show description so you guys can check out all of Megan’s work and listen to some of for talks and all that fun stuff. But Megan, I’ve really enjoyed our conversation. Thank you. And please stay safe. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me. 2s Bye. 

 Hey, everybody, and welcome to your spiritual best friend. I am your host, Josh Sanchez, and I’m here with a very special guest, Megan. Megan, what’s going on and what are you doing today? Thanks for having me. Well, I just filled out a NATO chart report for you, and I’m really interested to see where that’s going to take us. So, yeah, just excited to have a conversation today. 1s Of course. And I will say again, Megan, thank you for being patient and filling out the Natal charts and stuff for our podcast listeners. I always have my guests fill out their Natal charts. That way we can discuss astrology a little bit at the end. But the website is Cafe Astrology, so if you guys are ever interested to learn more about your chart and stuff, it’s all fun and it’s free, so it’s perfect. I just want to give a little shout out before we really get into it. But Megan, I wanted to say again, thank you for coming on, reaching out, wanting to be on this podcast and pretty much when it comes to this podcast overall, I really like to start to guess with just a simple question. So when it comes to work and passions and stuff like that, what do you like to do for work and what are you really passionate about? Oh, that’s a great question. It’s a good way to get to know someone, too. 2s I’ve been a writer and speaker and coach for 14 years now. I’m. 1s In the middle of finishing up my third book and kind of deep in the revision process. So I’m really passionate about writing, and I’m also a speech coach, so I work with professional speakers and write scripts, get them ready for the stage, do all the aspects of speaker coaching, and then also do keynote speaking of my own. So my books and my speaking are kind of the same message around the message of the power of vulnerable storytelling and how that plays such an important role in connecting with others. So those are storytelling, vulnerable storytelling, writing, speaking, those are my passions. They’re my profession. It’s what I do each and every day, and I feel very fortunate to get to do each one of those 2s well, Megan, I will say 1s I really like what you’re doing. It’s definitely great and it definitely can be powerful. I know you mentioned a lot about vulnerable speaking and stuff and being able to share and open up your own story and how that’s able to connect others and bring others together. I definitely think that’s a really good and I think more people need to do that because we’re human at the end of the day and we’re able to connect with each other if we’re able to open up each other. And that just leads me right to my next question. So I know you mentioned like, you’ve written a couple of books. You’re on your third book. Now tell me the thought process, because I know each book. 1s Has, like, a vision or has, like, a story behind it. So if you can tell me, like, what really goes through your head when you are writing the books, like between the first, second and third one. Oh, gosh. Well, the first one was in 2008, and it was called Creating Your Heaven on Earth. And I was actually in a really bad relationship when I wrote that book. So I feel like it was like my calling out to God, the universe, whatever you want to call it. I wanted happiness so bad that I was writing about what I wanted. And eventually it got me out of that relationship. So that was really more of a deep belief in what I knew was true and like a calling out and trying to call it into my life. So that was the first one. The next one was called Courage. Agreeing to disagree is not enough. And I think that might be more applicable now with the time we’re in. But at the time, it was around when LGBTQ marriage rights, gay marriage rights, that was the hot topic, the discussion. It was the year that I got married, and I was just really tired of the 1s back and forth, the debating the you’re right, I’m wrong, you’re wrong, I’m right, whatever. I was really sick of that back and forth. And so that was more of a calling out, too. Like, I don’t want to be in this space. This is who I want to be. And so I wrote it from this place of not only sharing my story and telling my story of coming out in Mississippi, but also as an invitation to others. Like, hey, we can have a conversation and not argue about the things that we might disagree on, but we can get to know each other still as human beings. And so that was a calling out as well. So this one, the one I’m writing now is called Held and Free, and it’s a memoir, and it’s really based around the power storage sell, Helen, like I was talking about earlier. And so for me, this is just an opportunity to share every single part of my story up until now and how I’ve evolved from this very insecure person in the world who wanted wholeness and happiness and all of the things it took to get to a place where I feel like I have a really strong foundation as a human being now. And so this is more or less kind of a letting go. For me, this book is just an opportunity to write it all down and own it and just keep moving forward. So each has had its own special moment for me, and it’s interesting. They’ve all been written. It seems like I write a book every seven years. So. 4s That’s really cool, Megan. And I will say because I always like to ask that question, especially with writers, because there’s definitely like a vision. There’s something that’s like inspiring you to write down these thoughts and write down like stories so that way people can read it and learn something new. And I can only imagine for you growing up in Mississippi, especially, like the culture down there can be very old school white man Christian for me, I grew up Catholics. It was a lot of just like strict standards. So I completely as I was hearing your story, I know you reached out to me. I definitely resonate in many aspects when it comes to that. But for you, I know you mentioned in your latest answer, like one of your books, you really had to open up and be able to let go because I know you mentioned you had a lot of insecurities growing up and stuff. And my next question, just building off of that, like how are you able to overcome your own insecurities growing up in Mississippi, obviously, and being able to open up and really take that next step to help grow within yourself? That’s a great question. And it really my insecurities. I was raised Catholic, too. And so a lot of my insecurities growing up were just not feeling like a fit in to that view of God and just being really uncomfortable, but not sure what to do about it because I wasn’t exposed to anything different. I mean, the other alternative was to go to a Baptist Church. And while that was very different, the mindset was similar in a way. And so there wasn’t an outlet outside of Christianity for me to even explore, to even know that there was something more. And so I didn’t come out of the closet until my senior year in College. And I was a two sport athlete at Mississippi State. And it was a very traumatic experience where my spiritual community was basically just completely judged me and pushed me out. And then I had a hard time with my family. And so that was really the defining moment for me where it was like, okay, I don’t fit into any of the boxes here. First of all, I’m not straight. 1s This Christian thing isn’t working for me because everyone’s telling me I’m going to hell and I’m not worthy, that I’m less than. And so there was all of these messages that pushed me out of Mississippi. And I ended up leaving for a long time so that I could find some source of self worth through understanding what I believed and also finding a way to be okay with who I am as a gay woman. And so it took that length of time of being gone before deciding to come back and come back to Mississippi 1s and have been back here for twelve years. So a lot of my own insecurities and self worth were giving myself some space. 1s To identify what those were and like, wrap my head around like, okay, who am I? And then coming back here and actually putting those ideals and beliefs into action, which 1s has been a really hard journey because it meant being very open about who I am because I didn’t want to hide behind closed doors anymore. And so simple things like this is my wife or this is my partner. We’re hard to say. And so like those little winds constantly and just constantly exposing myself and sharing my story throughout the years in the media, on stages, in the news and in conversations with Catholic priests and Baptist ministers and just there have been so many things that have happened over the last twelve years that have helped me kind of get to this place where I feel like, okay, this is who I am. I’m okay. And I feel like a whole person now. And I’m grateful for my life every single day. But it took all those little baby steps over the years of just constantly letting myself be seen and showing up and then tell people all the time, it’s hard. Every time I do it, it’s still hard. But over the course of time they got easier. And that’s what built my confidence and helped me get out of my insecurities. And that’s why I’m so passionate about storytelling because without sharing my story, I would not be where I am today. 2s Yeah, definitely, Megan. And I want to say again, firstly, like, just power to you for recognizing within yourself. Like, hey, I need to take a step back, and I really need to find myself in this society, because I can only imagine you grow up and you’re taught certain things. You’re taught a certain way, and you’re not resonating to what you’re being taught. There’s something inside of you, like you’re not really like your whole self. Yeah. So power to you for taking those steps to take on something new, find yourself in this society. And then I can only imagine coming back to Mississippi after you took time to really find yourself. I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you to go back into the same community that once disowned you. Pretty much. 1s I can only imagine how hard that must have been on you. So I wanted to just really just give you a shout out for that as well, because I know a lot of people in society. 1s We’re born, we’re raised in a certain culture or environment that might not resonate to us. And it’s important for us to recognize that and to take the step and to move on from that. So that way we can really be our real self. Yes. And find out who that is. I don’t think it would have been possible for me to really identify those things if I had not gotten outside of the pressure, the constant pressure of a certain way of thinking. So it was absolutely key to moving forward for me. I mean, I’m glad I came back. I didn’t want to come back initially. It was one of those things, like, I felt called to come back because I didn’t know. But there was so much more healing for me to do and so much more work for me to do in myself and in my relationships with my family members 2s in Mississippi. And there was just so much ahead that was calling me forward. And I didn’t want to do it, but I was like, I have to do it. It’s one of those moments, you know, you have to do it. You’re not quite sure why. You know, you don’t want to, but you know, you have to. 3s Yeah, definitely. Megan and I did listen to one of your talks, like, over the past couple of weeks, and I know you mentioned something about how like it’s all like it all comes full circle. You start off in the community where they were like a lot of, like, disownment and stuff. You really feel like yourself. You took time, you found yourself, and then you had, like you said, like that spiritual calling to come back, to come back, and it kind of comes like all full circle. That leads me right to my next question. I know you mentioned a lot about effective storytelling for you. How does someone become really like an effective storyteller based off of your experience? Well, for me, I really focus on personal narrative. So when I’m working with 1s a professional speaker or if I’m going to be speaking, I focus on a personal story for that person. So telling other stories about other people can be effective. Don’t get me wrong on that, but I think the most effective form of change is telling personal stories because it’s healing for the speaker and it’s healing for the people who are listening. And for me, the most important piece of a good story is that vulnerability aspect, that authenticity aspect. That point of reference gets hit because without it, I feel like we’re missing that emotional connection with each other that actually transforms the way we see each other. So to me, if you’re missing that piece, then you’re missing the whole point of connection. So that’s what I preach, and that’s what I teach people, is how to tell a story effectively, using vulnerability as a tool to not only connect yourself, but to connect to the people you’re telling the story to. 3s Yeah, definitely. Megan and I definitely agree. Like, that vulnerability aspect again, like we mentioned a little bit before, like, it really brings us all together. Like, we’re all human. We all have like a human. We all have a story to tell. Like, we all have, like, moments in our lives. We have experienced events. Like anxiety is so common. It’s in all of us. Absolutely. Some people recognize, some people don’t. So I think it’s important for us to recognize moments where we are feeling that way. Yeah. But just like continuing our conversation so far, I really just wanted to appreciate you obviously sharing your story, like, your journey a little bit. And this leads me right to my next question. So when it comes to advice, let’s say someone is struggling with opening themselves or struggling to really find themselves, 1s what’s the advice that you would give to them to really just help them open up and find themselves? That’s a really good question. 1s The one thing that I did and I can only speak to my experience. 1s I know there are millions of other ways to do this, but for me, what I did was I was constantly journaling and I was constantly letting myself express myself in that way. And that allowed me to kind of see what was inside of me and what was I feeling and what was I thinking. And that was the one tool that has been consistent for me over the course of all the years that has allowed me to really just dig into what I’m actually feeling. And also, I have a really amazing wife who surrounding yourself with people who support you and see you and aren’t going to judge you and let you just feel your feelings. If I’m going through something and I need to cry, I can cry in front of her. And it’s really important to have someone to do that with, even if it’s a counselor to someone you trust so that you can open yourself up and see what’s really going on. Because I think if you’re not experiencing whatever emotions you’re having, the true emotions of what they are, it’s hard to really see clearly on what you’re dealing with. So those are the two things that have been super helpful for me. But like I said, some people like to exercise, to kind of get a sense of feeling what’s going on inside. Some people like to meditate, some kind of pause of some kind where you can just sit there and let it bubble up. And we often avoid that with busyness and social media and all of that kind of stuff. But 1s taking that moment to pause, no matter the tool you’re using is. 2s I feel like the only way to do it. 1s Yeah, I completely agree. I completely agree, Megan, as well, like taking, finding those things, you know, that can really help us ground ourselves and, like, stay in, like, the present moment and really assess how are we really feeling today, like what’s going on in our body. Like you mentioned, I just wanted to add the term like grounding. I hear that a lot when it comes to because I’ve interviewed some people with meditation 1s because I’m currently in grad school. So, like, a lot of my classes, they talked a lot about this term of just grounding yourself because as you’re experiencing work, as you’re traveling, as you’re raising a family, whatever you’re doing, there’s so many things that really just go on throughout the day that we’re processing. So taking moments to really just ground ourselves and to really just help us just hit that reset button. So that way we’re able to recharge our batteries inside and we’re able to help others and continue to do what we do. So I think that was a really spot on answer. Well, what do you do? I’m just curious. What do you do when you need a car? Oh, yeah. For me, 1s I mix it up. So sometimes I’ll run because I like to connect with nature. So I’ll run outside and I like to run, especially, like in local parks. I like to choose, like, a different park each time where I run and then after, I like to Journal as well. Okay. Yeah. I found journaling to be really helpful for me 1s because it’s all in how we experience our lifetime, what we experience. And for me, similar to you, like, when I’m writing stuff down, I’m able to express my inner feelings, like how I really feel because there’s been times where I have wanted to speak my mind, but I kept it inside because of resentment or all that stuff too stuff down. It really helped me just get it out. So that way I’m not suppressing my emotions and then taking it out on other people that don’t deserve that. It’s easy to do. 2s Yeah. 1s Thank you. I appreciate that as well. And like I said, this conversation has been really great so far, very free flowing and just transition a little bit. I know you mentioned that you are in very good relationship now. I know you also mentioned that, like, you were in a relationship in the past that was a little bit questionable and stuff. Relationships obviously a big part of our lives. You know, we feed off of the people that we surround ourselves with. We’re all energy. We feed off each other’s energy. What qualities do you really look for in, like, a friendship or even like a romantic partner? 2s Trust is definitely at the top for me. It’s like I completely 1 million% do not 1s question my wife. I know she trusts me and I trust her. And that’s it. It is the foundation of what we’ve been together 14 years, and it is the foundation of what has kept us as strong as we are today. Not to say that we haven’t gone through hard times, we have. But that foundation of trust allows us to reflect back that there may be some more inner work that we need to do when we have an issue come up or whatever it may be. So that’s number one. 2s Let’s see. The other one is like when it comes to friendships, I would say, or any 1s relationship, even if it were my wife or past relationship or whatever. I think the one thing that I would was missing before I met my wife was just like I was giving more than I was being given to. And in the same way in friendships that I’m not going to overdo if I’m not being met halfway, 5s there’s something that goes off in me when I feel like it’s not an equal partnership, relationship, friendship, where I take a step back and or communicate to the other person, like, this isn’t working for me, you know, what’s going on or, you know, then have that tough conversation. So those are two important ones. Is the trust and then 1s am I putting in more or is it an equal, you know, energy exchange? I guess I should say I think those are the two most important to me. And well, obviously communication, but I think communication is embedded in the second one. 2s Yeah, I completely agree. Again, especially like when it comes to trust. Like if you’re not trust, if you don’t have trust in your relationship, your relationship is not going to work because instead of you, you’re not going to be able to really focus on what you need to do because you’re so focused on your other partner and what they’re doing and all that stuff, too, because that trust is not there. So I think trust is definitely an important one, and even the second one, too, when it comes to are you putting out the same energy you’re receiving? Because a relationship should be both partners are both taking moments where they’re giving and they’re also taking moments where their partner needs them. Again, we’re in a relationship, we need to be able to work together and grow together. So I completely agree and resonate with both of your qualities when it comes to that, because I think it’s important a lot of people. I think realizing when there is not trust in a relationship is something that can be very hard because especially you’re with someone, you have a lot of feelings that are inside you’re experiencing with this person. And then all of a sudden there’s moments where you’re worried about what they’re doing or worried about doing this and worried about doing that. And I think identifying that is something that I know in my relationships in the past, I’ve had trouble identifying that. 2s Like you said, just the trust aspect is huge. Well, and a big part of that trust is being able to express yourself and knowing that it will be received. And if you can’t say anything that’s on your heart in a relationship, then it may not be the right person because you should be able to say whatever’s on your heart and be accepted and loved for it, and they should be able to do the same. It’s like if my wife is annoying one day and she’s getting on my nerves, like, hey, you’re getting on my nerves. I’m going to go take some space. You should be able to say that and that be okay. There should be a level of acceptance and trust. She knows I love her dearly and it’s nothing about her. It just means I need some space and I need some time away. And there’s so much power. And being able to just express and you don’t have to be mean. 1s You can just say it with absolute like, hey, you’re just really bothering me right now. And I know that means I need some space and just that freedom to express yourself and be open and honest. It’s so important. If you keep holding things in, then that’s where you get into trouble. 2s Yes, I completely agree. It’s like I like to view it as like it’s like a snowball effect. Like, the more stuff you keep inside, the snowball gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and eventually it crashes and somebody is going to get hurt at some point. Oh, I know, definitely. 2s But yeah. So Megan, just continuing our relationship question, this question I always ask my guests that, come on, this it’s a little less serious question. 1s The question pretty much is like, do you have any turn off on the first date where you would not have a second date? So let’s say you’re on a date with somebody and they do this and you wouldn’t have a second date. As you think about it, for me, I always like to share this to my guests. I used to have a little test because music for me is very like it’s like my love language pretty much. If I can connect through music, definitely, you can see a more open up with me. And so something about the music, I don’t know what it is, but that was like my little test. I would hand the people I’m on a date with the aux score. I wouldn’t say anything. I just like, here’s the aux cord. And depending on what they play, was my little test. Was it a little toxic? Probably. 2s But for you, Megan, when it comes to turn offs and stuff, do you have any test or anything like that? 1s I haven’t dated in 14 years, so I’m a little far removed from that. But I can imagine 1s when I’m meeting new people for friendships or whatever. I mean, that’s really the gauge I have to go off right now would be like, are they only focusing on me in my story or are they sharing themselves, too? Is there an exchange of communication where we’re both being open? And to me, that’s what resonates the most. And if they’re not wanting to be open with me at all about after, I’ve been very open and 1s it’s not a fulfilling thing for me. It’s like I want that exchange of like, I want to give and I want you to give. And so it’s a little bit harder for me to want to build a friendship with someone if they’re so closed off that they don’t want to share a little bit of their life with me. I really like to engage in meaningful relationships. 2s Yeah. And I completely agree with that as well. When you are having conversations with people, especially unlike the first couple of instances where you’re meeting them, like, are you guys vibing? Well, you know, like, is the person being able to open up with themselves? And also, like, are you doing that the same? And is there, like this equal, like, you mentioned energy exchange between the two. So I think it’s important at the end of the day when you do meet new people and you are meeting new people 1s to really recognize that, are they comfortable with opening up to you as well? Because if they’re not closed off, that can be definitely hard to really connect with that person. Yeah. And it just depends on what you’re looking for. If I was looking for someone to go play basketball with me or do sports stuff with me, I may not care as much. If I just want an activities based friendship, I’m cool with that. But if I’m really looking for, like a friend, there’s going to be different qualities that I’m looking for. I don’t have to have a deep, meaningful relationship with everyone that’s in my life. But I do want to have someone of those because they’re super important for change and growth and being pushed and all that kind of stuff. But I’m cool having people in my life that that’s not the case. And we can go and do stuff together and hang out and. 3s Anyway. 1s Yeah, definitely, Megan. And I will say, like, again, this is definitely something to really look for and it’s really good to have when you first are like meeting new people and stuff, but just transitioning a little bit. I know we talk talked a lot about relationships and your journey, and I’ve really appreciated our conversation so far. It’s been great and I’ve really enjoyed it when it comes to astrology. I know you mentioned before we recorded, like, that your relationship with astrology is a pretty solid one, but that’s like my first question to you is like, how do you feel about astrology overall and what’s your overall relationship with it? I would say it’s a very surface relationship. I’m knowledgeable enough, but not knowledgeable enough to know what I’m talking about. Like, you can talk to me about things and I’ll probably understand, like, I was telling you earlier that when our daughter was born, we had her chart read and with an astrologist who gave us this hour and a half long session of telling us about our daughter. And she was so spot on. And so I’m completely open and 1 million% believe in astrology and it’s power. It’s just not something I’ve ever been passionate enough to dive into myself more. But I completely fascinated. So. 2s So like, when it comes to your chart, I know I mentioned a little bit about how your sun sign and your Mercury sign are in the same house, and that makes sense when it comes to your chart because you are a Libra son and then your Mercury is Libra. So Mercury’s line of communication, and obviously your sun sign is who you are to your core. So being a library, the library is like the balance scale. So that’s like what the sign looks like and all that stuff. So I can picture finding that balance and everything when it comes to relationships and all that stuff. I know we just talked about like relationships and having that equal energy, 2s it makes sense how the Libra qualities are coming out of you when you are describing communication aspect and relationships and all that stuff. 1s But when it comes to astrology, overall, I know you’ve had your chart read as well. Has there ever been like an eye popping moment or as you were getting your chart read that really stood out to you or anything like that? No, I’ve always just been very aware that balances and communication are very important to me. And so that’s been helpful because it helps me realize that’s who I am, this is how I made this is important to me and it’s okay that it’s important to me. So I think more than anything, I think things like this just help you really feel validated and it helps you accept who you are more. So such a valuable tool for anyone to feel validated and feel like, okay, this is who I am. I’m okay. 2s Those things are important to me and I can keep paying attention to that. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I always like to add just to add to your point, like astrology, I always like to view it as like another tool in the toolbox to really help understand ourselves. Like you said, as you’re hearing like your chart getting red and as you’re learning more, like it’s starting to value would date like, hey, I have had moments where I felt this way or I need to feel this way. I completely agree. But before we wrap up though, the last thing I always like to add my guest on, the reason why I asked for all my guests chart is just because there’s this website called the Horoscope Co. It’s a good little website where if you’re curious to know a little bit about on a basic level about your chart, I’m a bunch of people. They teamed up and they do little readings based off of just your sun and moon, your son and moon sign. So your sun sign, obviously who you are to your core, your moon sign is how you process things emotionally. 1s But for you, Megan, as I give your little reading, just let me know how you feel about it. So for you, Megan, you are a Libra Sun Virgo moon and it says a creative personality. Idealistic but logical, these people are capable of producing real change in the world. Positives for your Libra Sun Virgo moon combination expressive, gentle and dynamic negatives can be a little bit manipulative at times and can have a little bit of like a victimization perfect partner, someone who will help them move past difficult life situations. And word of advice, it’s essential for them to try and relax more. So as I give your positives, negatives, perfect partner and advice, what are some thoughts that come to mind? Let’s go back to the first one. Let’s start with each one and go one by one because I can’t retain information, 1s get something. So it was the first one? Yeah. So for positives it was like expressive, gentle and dynamic. Yeah, I would say very expressive. Like I need to communicate what I’m feeling and thinking dynamic. I can fit into any situation and be okay. Like I am an introvert, but I can be a chameleon. And the other one was what was the other one. 1s So the third one was gentle. Yes. I would say most people, 2s when they’re talking about me, that’s the word they use is calm and gentle. 2s So those are right on. All right. So the weaknesses were manipulative 2s and it can be a little bit victimizing at times. Yeah, I could see that, especially based on 2s how I was raised, too. 3s My grandmother had a very victimy way of seeing the world, and so I’ve worked really hard to not do that. And realizing that I’m completely in charge of my life. 3s And the manipulative part, I don’t really know that would have to take someone who knows me better. I don’t know idea. I’ve never been called manipulative, but I’m a good negotiator, so I can use those skills for sure. I’m a businesswoman, so maybe that’s where I use those. I don’t know. Yes, that’s probably where because you got to do business. It’s all good, though. Again. And another point I like to add to is, like, as you grow older, obviously with astrology, parts of your chart change, 1s there’s like two completely other different charts. But for this podcast, I like to just stay on just like the basic level. No, that’s great. 2s Some qualities you might resonate more now, but some qualities you’re like. I don’t really see this now, but as you grow older, as you experience more things, as you obviously grow in this society, 1s certain aspects of your chart change. Yeah, for sure. No doubt. And so the perfect partner was the next one. And that was someone that 1s I can feel like I can go through the hard challenges and push me to grow and all. Yeah, absolutely. That explains my wife. Exactly. I was in such a bad place when I met her, and it’s it’s almost like she grabbed me out of the hole I was in and pulled me forward into the life I wanted. So she is absolutely that’s. Perfect. And then the last one is like advice. So like advice for your sun and moon combination. It says it’s essential for them to try and relax more. Oh, yeah, definitely. I’m a go getter. I’m like, you know, I am much better when I’m pausing and taking a break and allowing myself to actually go into my creative space and relax. So I completely agree with that. Yeah, definitely. And again, Megan, once we are done with our recording and stuff, I can send you that link as well because it gives like a more in depth reading. But just from a little gloss and summary, that’s pretty much what it was. Yeah, that’s cool for reading and stuff. But Megan, I will say I’ve really enjoyed our podcast. It’s been a really great conversation. Where can everybody best check your work at? Everything pretty much lives on my website@meganoann.com meaganonan.com. You can find pretty much anything you want to know there. So it’s got links to all my social and my books and some speaking engagements and my work and all that stuff. I’ve got a blog on there that I post maybe once a month. 2s Except right now I’m not posting anything because I’m writing a book. So don’t expect anything soon. 2s Yes, I got you, Megan. And the link that you just said will be in the show description so you guys can check out all of Megan’s work and listen to some of for talks and all that fun stuff. But Megan, I’ve really enjoyed our conversation. Thank you. And please stay safe. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me. 2s Bye. 

Summary

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode talks about Ann Hince and her journey from experiencing her mother’s death to overcoming many other forms of trauma. Ann explains how the Emptional Freedom Technique (Tapping) helped her process her trauma. Ann has a youtube channel where everyone can check out her work.

 The link will be below, and like always, please rate and subscribe to the podcast on apple podcasts and Spotify. 

GIVEAWAY ANNOUNCEMENT The first-ever giveaway for the podcast is a self-reflection book. To be eligible for the item, you must do the following.

1. Follow the podcast on all social media platforms that you have.

2. Follow and Rate the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast

3. Share the podcast with 1-2 people. It can be anyone! You can send all of the information to my email address Yourspiritualbestfriend@gmail.com Mid-June will announce the Winners!

Ann’s Youtube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTc4hb7ZKvih1LlRHK0cUjg — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription

Summary

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast! Today’s episode is about Coach Lee, a life coach, and educator. Being transgender in America can be a challenge, and coach Lee shares his journey from struggling with opening up to finding his authentic self and being there for others. Coach Lee helps people struggling to open up and people who struggle with understanding themselves. His brand, Patterns of Possibility, can be checked out by clicking on the links below! 

GIVEAWAY ANNOUNCEMENT The first-ever giveaway for the podcast is a self-reflection book. To be eligible for the item, you must do the following.

 1. Follow the podcast on all social media platforms that you have. 

2. Follow and Rate the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast 

3. Share the podcast with 1-2 people. It can be anyone! You can send all of the information to my email address Yourspiritualbestfriend@gmail.com Mid-June will announce the Winners!

Patterns of Possibility Link

https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility

Coach Lee’s Social Media 

https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility/ — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support

Transcription