Summary
Hey everyone, and welcome back to the podcast! Today’s episode talks about the story of Anna Leonarda, a cancer survivor and the creator of Entwine Dating, a dating app for people who experience sexual dysfunction and are looking for a partner. Anna opens up and shares her journey from getting and beating breast cancer to experiencing sexual dysfunction and the lack of awareness our society has about sexual dysfunction. Anna has always had a passion for helping people, and you can check out her dating app and everything she does by clicking on the link below! Like always, please like, rate, and subscribe to the podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! Anna’s Website https://www.entwinedating.com/ Entwine Dating app https://app.entwine.live/login THE GIVEAWAY WINNER WIll BE ANNOUNCED ON THE INSTAGRAM SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE TONIGHT! — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourspiritualbestfriend/support
Transcription
Hey everybody, and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode talks about the story of Anna Leonarda. Anna opens up and shares her journey through experiencing and overcoming cancer to even experiencing sexual dysfunction and how that is has really impacted her. Today, Anna created her own dating app titled Entwine Dating where if anyone is experiencing sexual dysfunction, you guys can go on this app and find people and find intimacy. Anna has always had a passion for helping people and like always guide, you guys can reach out to her and check out all of her work by clicking on the links in the show description. And like always, guys, please like, rate and subscribe on Apple podcasts and Spotify. Your subscriptions will help boost the podcast overall. Without further ado, here is my conversation with Anna. Hey everybody, and welcome to your spiritual best friend. I am your host Josh Sanchez, and I’m here with a very special guest, Anna. Anna, how are you doing today and what’s going on? I’m doing great, thank you. Just enjoying the nice weather. It’s finally warm in Chicago. Yeah. And I just want to say before we really get into a lot of our conversations today, I want to say again, thank you for coming out, reaching out, wanting to be on the podcast and to be comfortable with sharing your story because with this podcast, like a lot of my guests that do come on, I just love to bring new perspectives on to things and we can learn a lot from each other. So I just want to say thank you for reaching out and wanted to come along. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, definitely. And Anna, I think our first question just to start off this whole conversation that we have is when it comes to work and stuff, what are some passions that you have and what do you really like to enjoy doing for work? Right now, I’m currently working on an app, a dating app, and that’s my passion is to help people and what you’ll learn later in your show by creating it as a dating app and what’s targeting and my goal is just to help people. I went through cancer and I thought, why did I go through cancer? And I think this is the reason why. It’s just to help other people that are struggling with the similar limitations that I have. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I know, like, when it comes to, like, your answer, I know there’s a couple of parts that we can really get into. And for you, like, I know you mentioned a lot about, like, you have this passion for really helping people, and that leads you right to my first question. Just like, when it comes to that passion for helping people, where did that really stem from for you? 2s I think I’ve always been like that. I always put everybody else first. And when I went through cancer, I was always trying to help everybody else to feel comfortable, and I was trying to stay strong for everybody else and say, okay, I’m going to be okay. Everything’s fine. 3s I remember somebody coming up to me and talking to me about their cancer journey, and it scared the heck out of me. There was chemotherapy and how horrible it was, and I was like, wait. I was like, I can’t do chemo. And I was freaking out and I felt so alone. So then I talked to another lady, and she was actually in her 70s compared to the other person I was speaking to, was in their forty s. And she was like, oh, chemo is fine, you’ll be fine, honey. And I’m like, I don’t notice a difference. And like. 1s The negative versus the positive. I mean, not that cancer is ever easy or treatment is ever easy, but I realized when I heard that positivity from somebody, I’m like, wait a minute, I want to be like that. I want to help somebody through their journey. And that’s what I started doing was was helping people that were scared, newly diagnosed, or having a cancer scare and walking them through it and trying to help them as much as I could because I wanted to bring a smile on everybody else’s faces too. When I was doing chemotherapy, I would wear a pink wig and I would wear a shirt that says Cancer sucks. And 1s just to have people smile and just keep a little bit light hearted because it is a scary time and laughter is the best medicine, right? Yeah, definitely. 2s It is like the best medicine because I can only imagine for you being diagnosed with cancer, how hard that must have been on you initially like that feeling. Because, again, based off of what we learned so much about cancer, it’s definitely like a lifethreatening. Like a lot of people do not when they get diagnosed with cancer, they do not come back from that. So for you to hear someone that was very positive was definitely something that you needed. And that just leaves me right to my next question. So for you, Anna, 2s when you first realize you did get diagnosed, like you did have cancer, what was that initial thought for you? Because we all know it’s a lot to handle. I was 36 years old and I found a breast lump in the shower. 1s And I thought, well, it’s probably nothing. And I worked in pathology for about eight years as the secretary, so I heard a lot of cancer diagnosis coming in and stuff. So I was like, these people are going are older and I don’t have any cancer history. It’s probably nothing. 2s When I got the diagnosis, I remember my mom’s birthday. I was at her house trying to celebrate her birthday. And then I knew I had cancer and I had to leave the house and not tell her. I can’t tell her on her birthday. So when I found out, I was in shock. I mean, I was was thinking, wait a minute, am I going to die? 1s Because I thought growing up, I always thought I’m never going to make it to my forties. I don’t know what it was. Something in my gut was telling me I’m not going to make it to my 40s. I’m 46 now, so thanks. I was wrong. So when I got diagnosed, I’m like, this is it. Maybe this is what’s not going to happen. I had two kids and I have two kids. That’s the hard thing about them. And just a lot of things going through my head and all I heard was aggressive cancer. 2s And I was just finding out I had three tumors on my left breast. And I thought 2s it was just unreal when I got diagnosed. And I thought, you know what? 1s Whatever I need to do, I need to beat it. And losing my hair and being forced into menopause at 36, it was definitely traumatic and the double mastectomy, 1s but I just wanted to do whatever I could to survive and be there for my kids. And 1s that’s what I did. Almost ten years Survivor. In November, I’ll be ten years Survivor. Well, and I will say again, like, power to you again for overcoming those initial feelings. Like you said 1s initially, I could only imagine again how much that is to handle inside of you. You’re realizing not only physically but mentally, too. You really have this serious, like because cancer is very intense and very serious. So power to you again for realizing. And that just leaves me right to my next question. Just building off of that, like, as you were going through your journey and as you’re starting to like you said you took chemo, as you’re getting better, what are some things that you started to realize within yourself as you were going through this journey of understanding cancer and overcoming it? 2s I didn’t realize how strong I was. I guess another thing, too, is I went through six or seven surgeries, and it was constant, constantly going, and I had no time to worry or to to feel sorry for myself. And I’m trying to stay positive, like I said to everybody else around me. And I didn’t realize until probably about six months ago that I’m like, wait, I have never cried about my cancer. I never, like, sat there and thought about it, what I went through, and I’ve been through a lot. And that’s when I started realizing, I need to talk about it. So I actually started seeing a therapist about it, because I thought, I think I’ve been holding this all in. And now that I’m on these podcasts, I’m joining these podcasts, and I’m talking about my story more and more, I’m like, Whoa, this really affected me. I didn’t realize how much that I have PTSD. And then I’ve been through 2s near depth experience, and I never thought about it. Nine years later, almost ten years, 2s a lot of people would tell me why you’re such a strong person. And I’m like, I have no choice. It’s either feel sorry for myself and not beat this or stick straight, strong and positive. And so I chose that way. It seemed like a lot easier to cope with what I was going through. 2s Yeah, definitely. Anna and I want to say again, it’s crazy how our bodies work and how our minds work, like you said, for that, like nine plus years. 2s Again, just remaining positive, trying to remain strong, you know, like being air for others, making sure everybody else was positive. So then when it came to yourself, you came to that realization and were like, dang, 2s I have not really talked about this. Like you mentioned, I didn’t really cry about this. 2s And now you’re doing podcasts and stuff like that too, and being able to share your story. So I wanted to, again, just commend you again for your growth as well, because it’s very hard to talk about our traumas. It’s very hard to talk about our experiences when we are when something as intense as getting cancer, it’s a lot. So power to you 2s for taking those steps to go to therapy and be more open to share your story, because like you said, you have this passion for helping others and as you’re getting more comfortable talking about your story and you’re just helping out more and more people. So power to you, Anna, for doing that. And I just want to, again, commend you for your growth because again, it’s a lot. It’s definitely a lot. And I can only imagine how I would feel if I was in that situation. I get diagnosed with cancer. The initial thoughts and the process and all that, I can only imagine. So power to you. Thank you very much. Of course, anytime. And just continuing our conversation a little bit when it comes to that. I know you mentioned again, like you have a passion for others. I know you mentioned you really love to remain positive. So how do you remain positive when you’re are, like, experiencing what you are experiencing but still trying to remain positive? How do you do that? 4s I had a hard time, I guess not a hard time, but 2s back in the day, early on for the diagnosis, I just saw others around me like, hey, it could be worse, it could be worse. 2s And being negative, it wasn’t going to help me. I knew that in my head. 7s It’s such for my kids. I want them to stay positive. 1s I don’t want to look sick in front of my kids losing hair. I know people kept saying bald is beautiful, and I’m like, I don’t think it is. When you’re sick, you got dark circles on your eyes and you’re bald. Don’t tell me that. 1s With my kids, I would just wear my wig all the time. I wear my hat. 1s I wasn’t bald in front of anybody. I have a couple of pictures without my hair and 3s I just felt like that was me being sick. But I would try to turn it around 1s my kids and I go, if you see me without my hair, I go. That just means that my medicine is working and 2s it means that I’m going to get and so I would try to change it around to give it a different perspective for others and myself as well, just to keep me positive. OK, I’m losing all my hair, but that means that I’m going to get better. It’s going to grow back. It’s probably going to be. 1s Thicker, which it is. My hair is usually curly. I straighten it. But 1s I was so excited when I had, like, one piece of hair sticking out. I’m open. Gosh. My hair is growing. 3s Just helping other people, I think that gave me some energy and some fuel to to just keep going and doing what I’m doing and helping others to 1s know that they’re not alone. Not only with the cancer journey, but the other sexual dysfunction issue, which I’ll talk about. Just talking about that a lot too, is 2s something that is my passion. And I’m just trying to end the stigma of a lot of things. 2s Yeah, definitely. Anna and I will say again, like, power too. And I think that’s a good way to remain positive when you are with your loved ones, just realizing, like, hey, we’re going to get better. It’s that positive reinforcement. Just keep reminding people, like, hey, this is just all part of the journey. We’re going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. And I definitely think, like, that reassurance, that positive reinforcement, all that stuff that you have been doing, Anna, has definitely been great. And that leads me right to just like my next question, just like, I know again, when it comes to helping people, what’s some advice you would give to someone that is really, like, struggling to find themselves or is really going through something that’s really hard to overcome? What’s the advice that you would really give to them? 3s Just take one day at a time. I’m trying not to think years in advance. And it’s very overwhelming when you’re newly diagnosed and just listen to your doctors and be, of course you’re your best advocate. I know when I was diagnosed, 3s when my first doctor didn’t want me to get an MRI of my breast, so I had one tumor, and then 1s the male doctor told me they were just going to do a lumpectomy just to take the lump out, and that’s it. I went to another doctor and she was like, let’s do an MRI of your breast. So I’m like, Okay. So 1s that’s when they found a second tumor. And then the surgery, they found the third tumor. So it’s like, just listen to your doctors. Listen to your gut too, and just follow. Take one day at a time because it is overwhelming. All these medical terms are coming at you at once and everything. And 3s for people that are wanting to help you, everybody wants to help. So I know with myself, everybody wanted to give me meals. I want to bring food to your house. And that just gave me anxiety. I’m like, Wait a minute, don’t send me food. 2s Think of other ways of how to allow them to help you. So what I did was I said, you know what? I would really appreciate if you can cook meals, but I don’t know what I’m going to be able to handle with chemotherapy and help. My taste buds are going to be on my stomach or whatever. So it’d be great if you just give me gift cards. If you want to do something, please give me a gift card to a restaurant or to the grocery store or whatever it is, so that we can just 2s day by day, because it’s hard to think. It’s overwhelming, too. It’s nice to have help, but it’s also really hard for me to accept it. So I just try to find out other ways to allow people to help. Because people love to help, but definitely they take it one day at a time. 1s And if there is somebody that’s there that wants to help you on your journey, whatever it is, 1s try to let them do that. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I know you mentioned a couple answers ago, like, realizing that you’re not alone too. So like, when people are asking for help, you know, like you said, being able to accept that help, but obviously also realizing within yourself, like, hey, instead of of sending me food, you guys can send me gift cards and stuff. Because I know you guys want to help because like you said, Anna, it really is a day by day journey. 1s Every day you’re going to have highs, you’re going to have lows. And it’s good for you though, that you do have people in your corner that are willing to help, but just realize that you are not alone when you are experiencing this too. Because I know you mentioned that a couple of answers ago and I wanted to highlight that too. You’re not alone. We all got to work together. The more people are there to help you, the more positive, the more good energy that you have. And then you’re able to fight cancer and now you’re able to share your story and help others. So that’s great to hear. Definitely. Six therapy. I mean, if that’s something that you need, that it always helps to talk to somebody. 2s Professional. Yeah, definitely. I will say group therapy. Therapy, I go see my individual therapist. But for people that are always like a little because individual therapy, it’s a lot because it’s one on one and you’re doing and a lot of the talking, but even group therapy as well, because you’re hearing other people’s stories and you’re hearing other people’s perspectives on what they experience, and it makes you realize again that you’re not alone going through this process. So group therapy and the visual therapy, I completely agree with you, Anna, that there is a lot of resources. So it’s great. Absolutely. But yeah, transition a little bit. I know we talked a lot about your journey, beating cancer and experiencing that, and I really appreciate you opening up and being comfortable with sharing, because I know it’s definitely very hard to do transition. I know you mentioned that you created an app. Where did this idea really stem from, and what is your main focus with creating your app? 2s Growing up, I had something called endometriosis, which can cause painful intercourse, heavy periods, and severe cramps and everything. So I had that growing up. And then when I got married and I became sexually active, I realized, why does intercourse hurt? It always hurts. Sex hurt. And I would go to the doctors and they would say, well, it’s because you’re nervous. Have a glass of wine, you’ll be fine. And I was like, Okay. 2s Even like, not to get too graphic or too personal, but even inserting tampons would hurt. And I thought it was normal. I didn’t talk to anybody about it. When I was told the doctors, they were like, well, you’re just nervous. So I went to a few different doctors after several years, and they said the same thing, well, have a glass of wine. So I ended up having a couple of kids. Thankfully, I was very blessed with that. And then one day, I couldn’t have sex anymore. It was like hitting a wall. And I didn’t know what was wrong. But I went to the doctor again, and she’s like a new doctor, and she said, you have something called vaginismus. And what vaginismus is, is the opening of the vagina. There’s muscles there, and they’re involuntarily spasming, contracting. And the reason that happens, I had to go to a physical therapist, a public floor therapist, and they said that. If somebody they gave an example, if somebody came up to you and kept punch you in the stomach over and over again, whenever they saw you or approached you, you would eventually just kind of tend to back away. And that’s what my muscles were doing in my vaginal opening. So if sex became it was impossible, I started doing the therapy, and there’s like, dilators, we have to slowly stretch the opening. It’s a very long process. And then I got the breast cancer, and I thought, well, forget about my broken vagina, which I would call it my broken vagina. Let me focus on beating cancer. And that’s what I did. So then I started doing the treatment after my vaginas mistreatment, after I beat cancer. And it was like my doctor, I remember my oncologist telling me, 1s because your breast cancer is estrogen fed, the goal is to get rid of all your estrogen. We’re going to force you in the menopause. You’re going to have vaginal dryness, you’re going to have lack of libido, it’s going to be painful intercourse. And I’m like, I already have all that, so how can it get any worse? And it did with the vaginal dryness and everything. So the treatment was even worse for me using the dilator. So I kind of put that on hold again. And I was married at the time for 20 years, and when my marriage was coming to an end, I thought, 1s How am I going to date anybody? How am I going to meet somebody that’s going to understand that I can’t have intercourse and I don’t want intercourse. I rather not have it at all anymore? Because that’s all I remember, is that’s all I ever had was pain. And I just kind of fought through it because the doctors like, what is normal, fine. So I kind of just dealt with the pain for so many years. And so I thought, well, I really like being intimate with somebody. 1s I just don’t want to have sex because it’s just too traumatic for me. And I thought I’ll just be single. I thought, Wait a minute. I went through endometriosis, a broken vagina cancer, not to just be alone. And I thought, Why did I get breast cancer? Is it because I thought it’s because to help people. That’s what I thought, okay? That’s why I kept saying, anybody diagnosed? Anybody’s friends? Anybody is having a cancer scare, please have them reach out to me. This is the reason why I have cancer, is to help other people. But I thought, Well, I need to do more. There’s something else that I’m missing. And I thought, what about guys that have erectile dysfunction? How are they dating? And I was finding that my friends that were going on dating apps, they were meeting these individuals that were in their thirty S and forty S, and they’re on the second day, or maybe the first day, they’re like, by the way, I have erectile dysfunction. I have prostate cancer. I had diabetes. I have a heart condition. I have PTSD. I have antidepressants that are causing erectile dysfunction. And my friends are like, oh, my gosh, there’s so many guys out there that have Ed, and they’re so young, and my friends are frustrated about it. And I thought, well, that’s embarrassing for these guys. And I’m like, well, how do I meet these guys? I wouldn’t mind dating a guy with Ed. 2s So I started thinking about it. I’m. 2s There needs to be something that I need to create an app, because I couldn’t use a regular traditional dating app because I thought, that’s going to be embarrassing. How am I going to tell these guys that I have this issue? So I thought, let me create a dating app that takes the sexual expectations out of dating, so that people like myself that have these sexual limitations, they can go on dates and meet other people with similar limitations, and they don’t have to worry about being judged or embarrassed or rejected because they can’t have intercourse. We didn’t choose to be like this, and we deserve to be loved too. So I just created the dating app in Twine, and it went live last August of 2021. And we’re really excited about it. And that’s my passion. It’s just to get the word out and end the stigma of sexual dysfunction. Because there are a lot of women out there that are still being blown off by these doctors, and they’re saying, have a glass of wine, and I’m like, you’re still saying that. 2s And then these gentlemen, men that have erectile dysfunction, that’s another thing too, is that some of them might all of a sudden have erectile dysfunction and they’re scared to go to the doctor. It’s like you need to go to the doctor because it could be some underlying condition. Maybe you’re about to have a stroke. Maybe you have a clogged artery or something. It could be an easy fix. 3s When I did some research and I realized that there was 30 million men in the US. Have erectile dysfunction, and worldwide, there’s approximately 320,000,000 men that have erectile dysfunction. I’m not alone. There are men that are not alone, and there’s definitely the ones that are being reported. 2s It’s a big problem, and there are peers, and some people may not want to do treatment like myself. I don’t want to do my treatment anymore for vaginisms, and I should have the right, because I want to do it for myself, and I don’t want to do it for somebody else. I don’t want that pressure of someone saying, hey, did you use your dilators yet? When is that going to be fixed? I have needs, whatever the other person would say. And that’s why I thought, this is something that is very needed. And not only am I trying to end the stigma of the sexual dysfunction part of it, but I’m also trying to increase awareness. And if you have find a lump like myself I found a breast lump. If I didn’t go to the doctor, I wouldn’t be here anymore. It was an aggressive tumor if I was too scared to get it checked out. And thankfully, I’m considered to be cancer free almost ten years. And these men that are having issues and they’re scared, you know, maybe if it is prostate cancer, it doesn’t mean you’re going to have Ed. Don’t be scared. The longer you wait, the harder the treatment with any kind of illness. So that’s why I ended up doing the dating app and also trying to increase the awareness of of sexual dysfunction and being your best patient advocate. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I want to say again, just power to you for all the hard work you’re putting in. Because like I said before, I mean, we all experience things in our lifetime for a reason. And for you, like, being able to embrace everything that you have experienced and to now create a whole app that’s focusing on really just helping others that are experiencing sexual dysfunction, power to you for doing that, because I know there’s definitely a lot of steps that were taken during that, and it definitely must have been like a challenge at first to really find, like, how am I going to put this app all together? But power to you for doing that and being comfortable again, like, sharing your story. 1s Because again, I definitely think when it comes to sex and stuff like that too, I definitely think there’s a lot of people. It’s just, again, like how we’re taught as society, it’s all about just the physical part of intimacy. But there’s so many different aspects of intimacy. There’s emotional intimacy. There’s a lot coming in, and it’s more than just physical. And I can only imagine for you to hear those doctors say that, that definitely must have been very frustrating to hear that you just need a glass of wine and you’ll be fine. This is what’s actually going on in my body. Because, again, our bodies, we react to certain forms of trauma. And to experience that and then to have a doctor that’s supposed to be an expert say that, it’s sort of just like, there’s a problem here in this society. So that just leads me right to my next question for you. Like, when you heard your doctor just say, just, like, have a glass of wine, how did that initially just really make you feel? Like I wasn’t being listened to or just being ignored, blown off. And it’s like we’re always focusing, seems like on men, hey, how can we increase guys libido and erectile dysfunction? And then for me, it’s just like, you’re fine. And I was like, I just felt alone. And my friends were like, It hurts. Why does it hurt? Maybe you’re the wrong guy. And 1s what are we going to do with my husband? 2s I just felt lost and alone and ignored. And there was a few doctors that did that. And I remember speaking to a lady, 2s She was just about to get married. She’s like, I’m engaged. I’m getting married. And she asked me what I did for a living, and I told her about my app, and then she just like, or her mouth dropped open. She’s like, I have painful sex all the time, and I just kind of deal with it. I’m actually bleeding. I’m having sex, and I’m bleeding. And I went to the doctor, and the doctor told me, have a glass of wine. And I’m like, no. I was like, you have to get it checked out. Here’s my doctor. 2s Don’t listen to them. I just couldn’t believe that doctors still say that. It’s like, what year are we in here? How do they not know what vaginismus is? Or how do they not know that sex should not hurt like that? They should not be bleeding like that? And so she’s going to get married and just kind of deal with it. And so I thought that’s why I was like, I’ve got to keep talking about this. 1s It is very personal. And I’m just talking about cancer, broken vaginas and stuff. 1s My mom very old school Italian. She would tell me, I can’t own a heavy accent. I can’t believe you talk about your broken vagina on the Internet. I’m like, Mom, I have to because it is increasing awareness and that’s. 2s I don’t want anybody to think that they’re alone in any kind of journey that they’re in. There’s other people that are going through the same thing. So it was really hard to I remember crying in the doctor’s office when I was telling her, I have sex with my husband five times. We’ve been married for a year, or whatever it was at the time. And she just looked at me, you’re okay? Just have a glass of wine. So I got to get drunk to 1s have sex with my partner, my husband. So it was extremely frustrating. Yeah. And just add to your point. I can only imagine how frustrating it was to hear that. And I definitely think when it comes to a lot of studies, 1s there’s not, like, an awareness when it comes to that, to understanding the woman’s body as well as much as a man’s. Because if you really look at our society, if you look at it as a collective, it’s capitalism here in the United States. So a lot of white men have always been in power. So it’s sort of just like when it comes to studies on women’s bodies or it comes to studies done on other people’s bodies other than, like, a white man’s, definitely 1s there’s a lack of awareness there. So I just wanted to highlight that as well, Anna, as well, by you being comfortable with sharing your story and opening up your increasing awareness so that way more people can understand what’s actually going on when we are experiencing, like, sexual dysfunction and how can we move forward? Because once there’s an awareness, that’s when we can start to understand as a collective, okay, now there’s an increased awareness, now we can move forward. Let’s actually put in the work to actually help. And that just leaves me right to my next question for you. I know you’ve had some bad experiences with doctors, and I know if your app entwined dating. I like the sound of that. Definitely has a good ring to it. How has it been so far, like, increasing awareness? Have you had any really good stories because of your app and stuff like that? I don’t have any success stories as far as any kind of matches, but I have received several emails 1s that thank you, me, for creating the app. I remember my first email I received was from a gentleman that actually taught me something, because he said he had something called Peroni’s disease. And he said that he has abnormal so Peroni’s disease is abnormal curvature of the penis. And I guess it could be, like, kind of banana shaped, and it can cause painful intercourse, making an intercourse impossible, and it can also cause painful interactions. And he said he’s been dealing with this for so many years, and women that he was approaching, he said, I feel like a fraud to these women because I’m talking to them. 2s Trying to date them. And then when I finally reach the point where I’m going to tell them about my condition, I feel like a fraud because I’m not being honest. And you think with your app, I’m able to go on your app and not have to worry about that. It takes the expectations off right away, and I don’t even have to talk about my condition and until I’m ready. And I was like, Oh, Peroni’s disease. I didn’t even hear about that. And I guess that’s coming, too. 1s I heard from another woman that said the same similar thing where she said that she’s been alone for 15 years. She hasn’t dated because she’s tired of being rejected all the time because she doesn’t want to have intercourse. She has a lack of libido, vaginal, dryness pain, and she just wants to be with somebody for the other forms of intimacy that are out there. And she’s just like, I just can’t wait to find somebody that’s out there for me that will understand my condition and accept me just the way I am. And I’m like, that’s right. You need to just be yourself. 2s There’s a couple of other 1s emails that I did receive the same thing, similar stories where they just are scared to just be rejected, and now they finally have hope, which is 2s what I love. That’s what keeps me going, too. I reach a point where I’ll meet somebody that says 2s somebody that holds a podcast. I asked him. He talks about mainly erectile dysfunction. And I said, can we talk about my app on your show? Because I’m guessing 100% of your audience is male. And he’s like, no, your app is a dead end app. And people, they want to get cured. These guys want to get cured, and you’re a dead end app, so I can’t talk about your app. And I’m like, what if a guy doesn’t want to have a penile implant? What if he doesn’t want to have surgery? What if he can’t take Viagra because it gives him a big headache or other side effects? What if he doesn’t want to do penile injections? That sounds painful. And I know there are side effects to that too. So I thought and I’m like, by myself, I don’t have to do treatment, 1s and I can use this app, and I don’t have to do treatment, and the guys don’t have to do treatment. So that was frustrating to hear that. But then I started hearing 1s I kind of ramble a lot. If you notice that 2s you’re nodding yes. 6s I started meeting guys, and they’ll say stuff like, 1s I’ll tell them about my dating app, and they’ll say, Oh, well, it’s okay. You have other holes. Or what about anal? And I’m like, Wow. One guy told me, you have the perfect reason why a guy wouldn’t want to be with you. So I started getting all these negative, horrible comments. I’m thinking, what if there’s somebody? It just reminds me of like, okay, this is what I’m doing. This is why I’m doing this app. It’s to protect these individuals that are hearing these harsh comments, insensitive comments. And they’re not all like that. Some of them are very honest and just say, like, hey, I can’t be with you because I need to have sex. I’m like, you know what? It’s better to be honest when I hear those comments. Like, you have other holes. What about anal? 1s Wait till you’re with me. I’ll cure you. And I thought, what about these men and women that have been through traumatic sexual trauma and they have to hear this. How alone are they feeling? And 1s they’re going to probably shut down or maybe even be suicidal. I have come across a couple that have commented saying that they don’t want to live anymore because they have erectile dysfunction. And it’s like, no, no one should ever end their life, ever. But especially for this, there’s somebody out there that’s going to accept you just the way you are. So 3s there’s a lot of people out there that I want to reach, and some of them may not even have sexual dysfunction. And they’re on my app, which I found surprising. There’s a couple of my friends that are on the app, and I’m like, you have sexual dysfunction? They’re like, no, it’s just I want to be with somebody that wants me just the way I am. And that’s not all they want is sex. I want someone that wants me for they want the emotional connection. So I found that surprising too, that men and women were on my app up, and they don’t even have 1s sexual limitations. 3s Yeah, and I will say power to you as well. Like, when you’re doing something, you know, that is that really is focusing on really helping people, you’re going to get a lot of positive feedback and you’re also going to get a lot of negative feedback just because, again, a lot of people in this world, old are very ignorant when it comes to certain things. And so for those people and those guys to say that to you, I can only imagine that would have really pissed me off. I know I would have been pissed off. I would have probably would have backslapped. They just be like, hey, you need to wake up slap just to knock some sense into you. But yeah, I can only imagine again, and I think that’s one of the keys when it comes to creating something new, creating an app that’s really focusing on a new demographic that so many people are not, not obviously not educated enough and don’t have that awareness. So power to you for doing that, taking those initial steps and really trying to help people. Because at the end of the day, like you said with your app and I noticed with you being able to be vulnerable and share your story, I know there’s a lot of other people too that can connect with you and you guys can. You’re really just helping out that really helping out other people at the end of the day. And that’s what’s important because we don’t want to feel alone, we don’t want to feel isolated and feel like I’m different from society. We all are human at the end of the day. And it’s important for us to grow as all individuals and to really be like our real happy selves. In order to do that, we need to really just embrace what we do have in order for us to grow. So power to you for really trying to help people that are experiencing sexual dysfunction to really take those steps to grow. And I will say, overall, I’ve really enjoyed our conversation when it comes to your dating app and Twine, and I’ll make sure the link is in the show description. So if you guys are experiencing sexual dysfunction and want to check out this dating app, I’ll put it in the show link so that way you guys can all check that out. But transitioning a little bit. And I know we talked a lot about your journey, experiencing cancer, also sexual dysfunction, and how it’s really fueled you have this passion to help others and inspire others. Just talking a little bit about relationships, like when it comes to friendships or even like a romantic partner, like, what are some qualities that you really look for? 2s Just someone that’s compassionate, understanding, honest and faithful. You know, that’s a huge thing because when you have some limitations that I do have, if I was with a guy that doesn’t have any kind of sexual limitation 1s in my mind, I’m thinking, oh, that person going to cheat. So the trust is huge. 1s That’s definitely number one for me, is the trust and definitely the patience, because with my lack of libido and everything, it’s just like I feel like there’s times where I’m like, Oh, gosh, maybe I should be alone because I know there’s somebody out there that will love me just the way I am. And I’m not in a hurry right now. Right now, I’m trying to heal myself. And like I said, seeing a therapist and kind of just dealing with helping myself first before I start seeking a relationship, yeah, definitely. Like you said, trust. And really just having someone that’s very compassionate and has empathy, really understanding where you’re coming from and everything that you’ve experienced, it’s important. So that way you have this concept of empathy. You’re understanding each other, you’re understanding each other’s perspectives and where they come from and what they’ve experienced, and then you’re building and establishing trust with that. I definitely think those two things, like you said, because like you said, Anna, you’re going to therapy. This is a time for you. Like, you’re on a very long journey and you’re realizing more, taking care of yourself, and so having people around you that you can trust and that can empathize with you are definitely important. My next question, just sticking to relationships because especially for you, like, creating a dating app, besides the sexual, like, limitations and stuff and everything, why else do you feel like relationships tend to fail? I think because of lack of communication. That’s number one as well, because. 2s For example, 1s myself being married at the time, I was always like, instead of saying, 2s hey, 1s I’m nervous, I’m scared, it feels like I was walking into fire every time. I was trying to avoid all forms of intimacy, which I didn’t tell my ex husband at the time, or her ex husband, I should say. I was kind of, like, avoiding working in the bedroom, avoiding any kind of touch, because I knew that was going to lead to pain eventually. So communication 1s is number one for a relationship to work, especially if you do have sexual limitations. Because 2s I think with a lot of guys that if I’m in a support group for reptile dysfunction and I kind of watch what these guys are saying and they’re like, I just avoid any kind of intimacy with my wife or my partner because I feel like a failure, it’s because they knew. In their head, they know. Ed’s. 2s Coming up that’s going to show up. 1s But communicating that to the spouse, I think that’s very important because the spouse might think it’s their fault or maybe he’s not attracted to me anymore. So just a lot of communication is very important in any kind of relationship. 2s Yeah, definitely. And I definitely think that’s a very common theme when 1s it comes to men. In particular, I noticed, just because based off of what I experienced, I love my friends at death, and I’ve always been the friend where people really come to for advice and stuff, and it’s really just communicating how you’re feeling. Like, I know for me, there’s definitely been times throughout my life where I’ve had anxiety, high anxiety before, like, having sex. And it’s definitely something that’s hard to communicate in that moment, but you have to be able to communicate that, like, hey, right now I’m just not in a very comfortable environment because for me, I need to have a certain mood. I need to be able to feel relaxed. So it’s like there has been moments where I’ve realized with myself where I’m in a very high stress environment, there’s, like, people I’m just like, I have high anxiety. I’m not doing this right now. And it’s important to communicate that. So that’s just to add to your point, like, just communicating that, because if you keep it inside and then you end up experiencing it, then you end up just really being more self critical on yourself. And I really should have just communicated that. So as I was hearing your answer and I was just like, yeah, I definitely am remembering times where, with me, I’ve definitely been very anxious in moments, and sometimes I did communicate in the times that I didn’t, I always ended up the next day just, like, really frustrated with myself because I should have just been like, hey, right now is not the good time. So I definitely think communication is a huge key, Anna, 2s in any relationship, because we got to be able to understand each other. We’re on the same page, so I completely agree. 1s But I will say just transitioning. I know we talked a lot about your dating app, your passions, relationships. You’ve really given some great advice and some great insight. When it comes to astrology, I always like to have my guest said, I’d like to connect a little astrology aspect to it. So my question for you, Anna, is when it comes to astrology, what’s your overall relationship with me? If someone ever told you, like, what’s your sign is or just overall, like, how you feel about it, 3s I haven’t really had like an astrology reading before, I guess, and I don’t really follow it, to be honest with you. I mean, there was once in a while I’d be like, the Aquarius and Libra match, so something like like that. But I believe in that universe stuff. 3s I don’t know, but otherwise, no, 1s I haven’t really looked into it too much. Oh, yeah, I definitely think you’re really going to enjoy this part then, because what I do with my guests on this, that come on. I just stick to the basics just because, again, like, astrology can get really deep. There’s like houses and there are degrees, and I usually just like to stick to a little bit of the basics. So pretty much the planets that I really look at when I have all my guest charts is your sun sign. So your sun sign is like, people ask you, like, what’s your sign? That’s pretty much like your core qualities for you. You are an Aquarius. So Aquariuses are very future oriented. They’re very deep thinkers. They’re really good at creating new content. And it makes a lot of sense when it comes to you creating the app. And to add to that, so your moon sign is a PISCES. So your moon sign is how you process things emotionally. So your sun sign obviously is in Aquarius, which is an air sign, but your moon sign is in a water sign in PISCES. So with that it comes like the ability. You really want to create things. You really want a lot of PISCES energy. It’s very kind, gentle. So you really want to understand other people’s perspectives. But with sometimes with that PISCES energy, you can get taken advantage of because of being too nice. As I was hearing you describe your journey, you’re really trying to help others and be there for others. And you’ve realized more recently that when it comes to yourself and self care, you realize like, hey, I’m going to therapy now. Now I’m realizing more like, I was keeping so many people positive with yourself. That’s a lot of, like, that PISCES energy. Anna so it’s like you have a mixture of creating a future thinking, and then when it comes to. 1s Empathy. Like, that. Emotions typically can rule. That’s just the basic reading that I got so far. Just looking at your chart, it’s just continuing. Like, Mercury is the planet of communication. So that’s like, communication style. So some people are very 1s blunt with their communication. Some people are very like, they communicate with their emotions. Some people, they communicate logically. And yours is in Capricorn. So Capricorns are very logical. 2s I noticed because I have some Capricorn in my chart, so it’s very just, like, goal oriented. So, like, your communication style is very just like practical. Down to Earth. You might take some time to communicate, but when you do, it’s very real and authentic. And then with Venus, your Venus is like love language. So, like, qualities you look for in a partner. And once we’re done recording, you can maybe realize, hey, what was my past partner? What were their signs? But yours is in Capricorn. So similar to how you communicate. Like, Capricorns are very goal oriented. You’re very into. Like, when it comes to relationship wise, some qualities you really look for. Very goal oriented. That’s based off just what I’m saying. When it comes to astrology, very, like, Capricorns are Earth signs. So, like, home bodies a little bit, but also very hardworking. 1s Goal oriented, all that stuff too. So just like, I usually like to stick again to a little bit of the basics, but how do you feel so far when it comes to like, a little bit of, like, the astrology reading? Sounds pretty accurate. 4s Yeah, definitely. And if you want to know more, obviously when we’re done recording this podcast, I can send you just like, links how I’ve learned and stuff. And that all the information to you so you can learn a little bit more. But to wrap everything up, there’s this website. It’s called the Horoscope Co and pretty much what this website is, it’s a website where a bunch of women, they teamed up and they do little astrology readings based off of your sun and moon sign. So like I mentioned before, Anna, your sun sign is in Aquarius and your moon sign is in PISCES. And the reading. So once I’m done given the reading, just let me know how you feel about it. But you’re an Aquarius Sun PISCES moon, and it says an unconventional personality. Eccentric and fascinating. The Aquarius Sun PISCES moon personality raises more than a few eyebrows, but deep inside, these people are affectionate and have simple needs. Positives for your sun and moon combination. Very responsible, original and sophisticated. Negatives can be a little bit restrained at times and can be a little bit skeptical at times. Perfect partner. Someone who accepts them for their true selves. And word of advice, be careful about the quality of their perception. So as I give you your positives negatives, perfect partner and advice, what are some thoughts that come to mind? 5s A lot going on there. Okay. 3s Yes, 5s that’s me. And then you went to the next part. I’m like, Wait, what do you say? Hold on. So that’s just part of my I call it my chemo brain that just kicked in there. No, it’s all good. I know it could be a lot all at once, because it is. 1s I think you mentioned something about accepting when I first meet somebody, to accept them the way they give them a chance to accept them for the way they are. Yeah. So the perfect partner for you is someone who really accepts you for really who you are. 2s Okay. Yeah. That was the perfect partner part. Yes. That’s definitely something that I’m going to need. 1s Yeah, definitely. And like I said, astrology, it definitely can be a lot all at once. I just know, for me, when I first learned, I was like, dang, this is a lot. Yeah, that’s why I was just like, 2s it’s all good at the end of the day. And I just want to say again, Anna, if you want to know a little bit more when it comes to strategy, I can send you links and stuff and we can all have a whole different conversation, because I know we can go for hours when it comes to astrology, because that’s how much information it is. But, Anna, I really appreciate our conversation. I know you mentioned a little bit about your app and stuff. Where can everybody check out all your work and all that fun stuff? Excuse me. If they go to my website, it’s at entwindating.com, so entwine n e dating.com. And they can also follow me on Instagram at entwined dating and Facebook, as well as Twitter at entwinedating. Yup. And I’ll make sure, again, like I mentioned earlier, that all the links will be in the show description. But Anna, again, thank you again for a wonderful conversation, and please stay safe. Thank you. Thanks again for having me.
Your Spiritual Best Friend 